How appropriate to read this post today - it's my anniversary!! :) And as a former bride, I can safely say I had enough to worry about on my wedding day, let alone giving birth! I hope their little one does well.

www.youngparentsmagazine.com

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Wow, what a day to remember!

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I am amazed that they left such a tiny baby to go to the wedding. Couldn't the officiant come to the hospital to marry them? I understand that parents of preemies can't spend every moment at the NICU, but to leave him so soon? sigh. Best wishes to the new family.

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Agreed, LB.

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LB and Uly, as the mother to a baby born 15 weeks early, weighing 1 lb 10 oz, I can see where they may have needed a happy occasion as well as the love and support of family and friends. When a baby is that tiny, they are usually hooked up to all kinds of tubes and wires, for breathing, nutrition and medication. Your time at bedside is limited, and you don't even get to touch them, let alone hold them. They are simply too sick and frail. After all, they are still a fetus. To rob this couple of a few moments of happiness in the wake of the sadness, anger and guilt they feel over the circumstances surrounding their child's birth serves no purpose.

When you are going through the trauma of wondering if your child is going to survive, every little thing that can help you focus on the good and happy things in life, can be a sanity saver. Please don't judge this couple for the way they chose to handle their situation, especially if you have never walked in their shoes. And I hope you never have, and never have the need to. The journey they have ahead of them is long and arduous. If this baby even survives to come home, their work and heartache may not be ended.

I wish them the best of luck as they begin their journey as a family.

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Well, I am pretty sure they could not get married in the hosiptal. Here in the UK you can only be married on premises or even land outside that has been licensed for weddings. Most places will be granted permission, but your officient has to apply and have it be approved which takes some time (weeks usually). Weddings outside churches or city halls are a really recent phenomenom here in the UK - it was only in recent years they started allowing this. You can't just get married wherever you want here.

Anyway, just to let all of you who said they should have married in the hospital know that it probably was not possible. :)

I personally can't imagine leaving my brand new baby (but I have only had two full term) to go [i]anywhere[/i]. But I certainly have never been in their position. And I wonder if the story read "they went home for a couple hours to shower" if people would be judging them. They obviously care for the baby, they spent the night with the baby afterwards. It doesn't say they partied all night after the wedding or something like that.

Anyway, while my first thought was "wow, they left the baby?" my second thought was "I've never been in their shoes." I am sure they love and care for their baby very much. :)

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"and despite having to sleep on the floor, they were very happy."

Ummm why did they have to sleep on the floor. Let me tell you why because hospitals have no respect for the rights of babies and their families.

I just blogged about this because it makes my blood boil.

http://www.prematureoptimism.com/blog/?p=37

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Brenda, I am sorry you had a rotten NICU experience. (Not that any stay in NICU is pleasant) We (meaning my son) were in NICU for 88 days. After the nurse lied for me and said my BP was low enough to visit my baby, my time at his bedside was never limited, except for twice a day at shift change when all parents were asked to vacate for an hour. As soon and as often as he was stable enough, they would move his ventilator tubing and piq line so I could hold him, skin to skin. He was given a special mixture to help him grow, while I pumped every 2-3 hours at home, in the car, and in the hospital.

The pods had 2 babies to 1 nurse, there were also respiratory therapists and other medical personnel on hand. The pod he spent the first, most critical, weeks of his life was kept dimmed and quiet, because these babies were so early and tiny, they needed a womb-like atmosphere. There were curtains and an excellent pump available at each bedside, as well as a mother's room. There was also a parents' room for relaxing and sleeping. The preemie group I am involved in at the hospital is building a bigger and better parent room. In addition to the weekly psre4nt support groups, there was also a weekly breastfeeding lunch and a weekly lunch given by alumni for current parents of NICU.

In the feed and grow rooms, the atmosphere was more like home. Bright light and noise during the day, and near dark at night. There was also more hands on by the parents. These babies are preparing to go home. There is also a rooming in that parent can do for several nights in preparation of the homecoming.

Our experience, while frought with trauma, fear and sadness, was wonderful in the sense of the amount of caring and support we received from the staff and other parents. It should be noted our hospital has a level III NICU, so it may be head and shoulders above others.

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