What's it like to give birth?

by Kristin Darguzas (Subscribe to Kristin Darguzas's posts) Sep 30th 2006 10:10AM

Categories: Newborns, Pregnancy & Birth

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Life is, by nature, unfathomable. It is impossible to fully experience an event, a rite of passage, an emotion - before it has actually happened.

I remember reading countless books before giving births, quizzing veteran Mothers, pleading with coworkers to "give me the straight goods". Most Moms hemmed and hawed when I asked what it felt like to give birth, muttering that "It was all OK in the end" or "Make sure you get the epidural, sweetie."

And if I hadn't written down exactly what happened before Nolan's birth, I would have totally forgotten the pain. My brain would have minimized it, fulfilling its job as Mother Nature's great preservative. And that's OK, because even when I do re-read my birth story, and remember shrapnels of the intensity of the experience, Nolan was worth every moment.

I came across this site today, which asks "What's it like to give birth?" I read through the several dozen responses and what struck me was the uniqueness of every experience. The one commonality: no one said it feels nice, no one said it wasn't worth it.

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Comments (7)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Amy 9-30-2006 @ 11:06AM

It's too bad more mothers don't talk about how amazing and wonderful birth is or that they don't have that experience to talk about. I loved childbirth. I felt so powerful, so strong. Every intense sensation ("pain" isn't the right word) was another step closer to meeting my baby. Yes crowning was unlike anything else I'd felt and it did burn, but it made me ecstatic because it meant my daughter was almost here! My wish for all pregnant women is a positive, healthy birth.

thordora 9-30-2006 @ 11:15AM

My second was drug free due to speed, and I still marvel at how "un-pain" like the pain was-yes, it hurt, but no one told me that between contractions I'd be just fine. And I could tell it was pain with a purpose-I could feel my body moving in waves, preparing.

Crowing I still remember for some reason as in my head with the image of shucking an oyster. That hurt. But then it was over.

And no one ever told me how PROUD I would be to have done it myself, drug free, and to have felt my child moving from my body into the world. I could have picked up a car I was so amazed and felt so strong and womanly. My first was induced, and I had an epidural, and it didn't come close to being the almost trancendant experience my second was. I'm never felt stronger, or more female in my life.

As Amy said, all I can wish is that other women have births as I did. I'm still in awe of my body a year and a half later.

Kristin 9-30-2006 @ 1:49PM

Amy and Thordora, I love hearing about the kinds of experiences you two had. It inspires me for next time.

VL 9-30-2006 @ 8:20PM

Thordora,
Wow, I had the exact same experience you did! I was induced with my first (I will NEVER do that again if I have a choice!) and epidural. Childbirth was so much more amazing without intervention. I can't even put it into words... It hurt, for sure, but I definitely think "waves" is a good word for it. Did you read Ina May's Guide? I used some of her imagery during the birthing and it really helped my visualize my way through the discomfort. After birthing I felt, and still feel, like I can do anything.

thordora 9-30-2006 @ 9:02PM

Yup. I'm stupid over Ina May's book! I loved that! I remember reading about the orgasmic births, and being so jealous.

I have to cop to a dork moment-I recited the "Litany Against Fear" from Dune while labouring and pushing Rosalyn out (my second) it kept me focused, reminded me to "ride the waves" and helped remind me that my body was doing exactly what it was built for.

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Litany_against_fear

Dorky I know, but I couldn't think of anything more apt. I'm with you VL-induction SUCKED, but I find myself annoying other people when I rave about the birth of my second. I'm so glad to hear that from someone else!

VL 9-30-2006 @ 10:14PM

Thordora, I drive people nuts. They really think I am loony for (dare I say it?) ENJOYING childbirth. No it was not orgasmic but empowering. By husband, god bless him, pretends to not get tired of hearing about it. I have a friend who is pregnant right now and is looking for something "holistic". I am trying to sway her my way before the OBs convince her that women's bodies are not meant to have babies. LOL :).

Jen 9-30-2006 @ 10:53PM

Oh my God, Thordora, the Dune thing ran through my head during childbirth too--it's a miracle my daughter wasnt named Alia ;)

Childbirth was such a powerful experience that afterwards I described the feeling I had as congratulating myself for doing it. Powerful, moving, and definitely womanly.

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