What to do about a hitting baby?

Mine have done this. Instead of making a big deal of it, I give them a firm, "No hitting. Hitting hurts Mommy. If you hit me, I'll put you down." Sometimes this escalates to having to put them further away than just "down". A playpen or another room or on the other side of a baby gate.

And don't wait until he actually connects again...just raising his hand with that twinkle in his eye is enough to get the warning from you, "No hitting." As the hand comes forward, you catch it and then put him down.

Before picking him up again, repeat, "No hitting. Hitting hurts and I won't hold you if you hurt me."

Don't worry that he's going to become a psycho killer or something. He's just exploring all the wonderful things his hands can do and as his mom, you get to teach him what is appropriate and what's not.

If he's hitting you with a toy or something else, you can take the toy away and put it up on the counter. Depending on his personality, you might want to leave it completely visible. When he begs and whines for it, you explain that he can't have it because he wasn't kind to you with it. Of course, he'll continue to beg and you can give it back, explaining that he's not allowed to hit with it. As soon as he cocks his arm with it, you take it away. At this point, it's probably easier to put it out of sight!

I also like to emphasize that what's being done is "not kind" or "not nice". It really doesn't matter if it hurts or not. At this age, precious little hurts (other than the teeth and a lucky shot to an eye or lip or other sensitive part).

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Hit him back.

JUST KIDDING!!!!

My daughter is 15 months old and just started smacking me in the face. I find at this age, giving her a firm no and then distracting her from my smack-a-licios face with a toy or a book or anything besides my face works well.

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I think this is really normal behaviour for the age. My daughter did it too. I just told her, "No! That hurts mama," and put her down on the floor. (Which was as good as time out because at 14 months she wanted to be held *all* the time.)

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This is Oliver. He's been doing it for quite some time now, to us and to his three-year old sister. He also hits her with toys -- he'll just walk right up to her and bonk her on the head with a Peek-a-Block. She's pretty good about understanding that he's very young and that we're trying to work with him to stop doing it, but it's heartbreaking to watch her cry because he's hurt her.

We stay consistant with him and do the same things over and over. When he smacks us we lightly squeeze the hand he hit us with and say no in a firm tone, and then say "Gentle, gentle" while we take his hand and gently rub our faces. When he smacks our daughter we do the same thing and we do the same thing when he hits her with a toy but we also take the toy away. We're hoping our consistancy will pay off and that one day, hopefully soon, it will click with him.

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My daughter used to hit both of us with similar results...I read somewhere that you should say "No hitting" firmly (but without shouting)and then place them on the floor and turn your back or walk away from them briefly. They are looking for a reaction- any reaction from you and will repeat it because they like the little bit of baby "power"they are able to exert over their world. By placing them down and looking away, they lose the thing they crave the most- your attention.

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My mom used to always just get up and walk away. Whatever we were doing (normally something fun) stopped, and wasn't started again anytime soon. In time I apparently figured out that hitting was not a good idea.

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Angela & Tina are on the money: walk away - except don't say a thing! He already knows you don't like it, and I am sure he will not like it when you walk away. You see, this way he is not rewarded by your reaction and you remain cool to him, which is not a nice thing for a baby.

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At this age I would agree that dramatic responses/regard should be avoided although limits need to be established given that this involves aggression. There is apparently some research that shows that time out may actually be effective down to age 9 months (hard to believe). If neutral neglect doesn't change the behavior consequences I would implement a consequence that he clearly doesn't like.

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I wish my Oliver showed the slightest negative reaction to my telling him "no" and showing him how to be gentle when he hits. He laughs and hits me again, daring me to escalate. I don't, and just try to be consistent but it's extremely frustrating. Seeing it as an attention grab, I try to just look or walk away (can't walk away when he's on the changing table). That works sometimes. I have also tried gently holding his hands at his sides but that usually results in a tantrum.

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Lochlan started doing this about a month or so ago. I did react as strongly as you did but I found that to have the opposite effect I wanted. He would hit me more to get more reactions from me. So I totally toned down my reaction and redirected him to a toy or something else. If I am able to catch his hand in time, I will blow raspberries in his hand or kiss it. After a week of this, he stopped hitting me. At this age, they don't know what they are doing so it's not malicious at all.

For more tips, check this out:
http://askdrsears.com/html/6/T063900.asp#T062400

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The first time my son hit me, I told him "No hitting. Hitting hurts, etc" and I immediately put him in time out for a minute (he was about one then). This seemed to work.

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Both my daughters have gone through this phase. Each time they hit, I said firmly "No hitting! Hitting hurts" then in a gentle, soft voice I said "Use gentle touches" and held their hands and stroked my face (or whoever's face was hit) softly. To drive home the point, I touched them gentle while saying, "See, gentle touches feel nice - use gentle touches!" It's worked great both times - both girls are extremely gentle and affectionate. It takes a while to sink in, but it's well worth the investment, if you ask me.

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MY 23 month old still hits and when i tell him no he laughs and trys again. When I put him down and walk away he's big enough to just follow or climb over the baby gate. Any advice?

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I think it's normal for most kids to go through this phase. My son did as well. It just took some time and a consistent reaction. I never laughed or made light of it and he eventually stopped. I can't remember how long it lasted so it must have been a short time. He received consequences for sure....I didn't just let him slap me or anyone and wonder off somewhere. Like all babies he grew out of it. He's a pretty non-violent 6 y/o now.

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When my son did this, I would gently grab is hand and say in a firm voice, No, followed with the word "gentle" (moving is hand gently over my face). After about 1-week, the hitting stopped and he would gently stroke my face.
I'm now doing it with my daughter.

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Most babies do this.

When my nieces (elder and younger) did this (or do this, for the baby), I didn't make a fuss, just held their hands. Not so they couldn't move, just so they couldn't hit me. When they got upset, I'd let go, reminding them "no hitting". If it went on, or seemed accompanied by actual anger (instead of boredom or curiosity), I'd put them down for a minute.

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Lin,
2 yr olds are just more persistant (and able), so you'll have to be more persistent. The same techniques will work. You might have to put him in his room with the door closed. We use the laundry room in our house...that way, I don't forget about the offender!

His hits might not hurt right now, but his playful defiance needs to stop.

Sounds like you've got a live-wire for a kid! You might want to check out the book "Raising yYour Spirited Child" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. Your guy knows how to push buttons and the sooner you learn to deal with that, the better!!!

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