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Is your teen dressing a little too sexy for Halloween?
Filed under: Teens, Development/Milestones: Babies, Media
Just last Thursday, my husband and I brought our children to a Halloween store to see the costumes. After we passed the Dora and clown costumes, we were face-to-face with a costume that made us quite uncomfortable: We'll refer to it as the "very sexy" witch.
Only problem? This was for preteen girls. For a second I thought we wandered into "Sluts R Us."
Would you let your daughter wear a costume with a name such as "Transylvania Temptress?" How about "Handy Candy?" Would you even want your daughter to explain to you the meaning behind that name?
One expert quoted in this article says that the "sexy" costumes stem from the fact that little girls can only envision themselves dressing up as pretty, helpless princesses. Of course, the girl quoted as planning to dress up as a "sexy firefighter" doesn't find anything wrong with the sexy getups.
As a woman and parent of a girl, I'm appalled at the hypersexualization of little girls. I don't really care if I end up as the "mean Mom," but there's no way in heck I'll let my kids leave the house as a sexy anything.
Do you let your kids dress however they want on Halloween, or do you have set rules? What do your kids think?
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 7)
10-18-2006 @ 1:33PM
ann adams said...I'm far more disturbed by this quote from the article:
"There's nothing inherently wrong with a little girl dressing up as a pretty princess, Lamb said, but the problem comes when such feminine, passive characters are all girls can envision for themselves. And she thinks it is that same ideology that pushes girls toward hyper-sexual costumes as they get older."
I don't want my girls dressing up as a "passive" anything. I wouldn't care if the costume covered them from the top of their heads to the tips of their toes.
Passive?
The hootchie outfits bother me but not as much as the helpless female attitude.
I'm already fighting the scanty clothing battle with my 10 and 11 year olds. So far I'm winning and I'll win the Halloween battle as well. There is no way they would leave the house in one of those outfits.
My middle girl dresses up around the house sometimes. She's 11 and can easily pass for at least 16 in a slinky dress and makeup. She loves the look; I cringe and wonder what else I have to look forward to.
I'm not sure I was as prepared as I should have been for the early onset of puberty.
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10-18-2006 @ 2:04PM
HW said...I know that fashions change as times change, and that as you get older you start saying things like 'that's not how it was when I was a kid'(as young people roll their eyes). But I'm only 25, and this isn't how it was when I was a kid! Please parents, be willing to be the bad guys and keep your daughters from rushing into what they think is adulthood.
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10-18-2006 @ 2:35PM
Kimberly said...My almost 8 year old is going out as Wonder Woman. Not because it's sexy, but because she's a strong, confident, proactive female role model. Who just so happens to wear her underwear to work.
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10-18-2006 @ 2:37PM
Chris said...I have a problem with my son wanting to be disgusting "zombie doctor", rat eating head or some other Chainsaw victim. I draw the line at realistic gore or grim reaper outfits. I don't mind scary, just not violent or grotesque. I won't let him watch it on TV, why let him dress like it?!
My daughter will be dressing like a "pretty witch", complete with black leggings under skirt. Thank god it's too cold in the Midwest to be anything sexy on Halloween night!!
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10-18-2006 @ 2:48PM
halloween said...ummm...yes it was.
I am older than 25, and I remember very well that there was a point when me and my girlfriends decided to be "sexy" for Halloween parties and trick or treating. That does not mean that I think it's okay and it makes me sick to see 10 year old girls with JUICY written across the back of their bottoms...but I remember when I was 10 we made adults sick by wearing cut off sweatshirts exposing as much skin as we could, singing, "Let's get physical" pretending to be flash dancers.
I have pictures of my grandmother as a young woman being "scandoulous" dressed up as a flapper smoking a cigarette and showing too much skin for the day...
I think that hypersexuality of young girls will always be there, but fashions change so it will evolve, look different, and be packaged differently.
As a parent of a baby boy, I hope that I can teach him to respect women and not be taken in by the way we market sexuality...it's scary...but I don't think that it is new.
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10-18-2006 @ 4:16PM
Amber said...Kimberly, my daughter is dressing up as Wonder Woman too. She will be 8 in January. But, I see nothing sexy about her outfit. My daughter see her as this very strong and powerful woman who fights for justice in the world.
You will not catch me being best-friend-mom to my daughter when she turns into a teen. I won't let her wear belly shirts. It starts now, even before then. Give them toys to play with that are appropriate. Toss out those dang Bratz dolls!
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10-18-2006 @ 4:17PM
Amber said...Kimberly, my daughter is dressing up as Wonder Woman too. She will be 8 in January. But, I see nothing sexy about her outfit. My daughter see her as this very strong and powerful woman who fights for justice in the world.
You will not catch me being best-friend-mom to my daughter when she turns into a teen. I won't let her wear belly shirts. It starts now, even before then. Give them toys to play with that are appropriate. Toss out those dang Bratz dolls!
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10-18-2006 @ 3:20PM
Christine said...I am 28 and yes.. it was like that.. it just depended on which clique you hung with. Mine wasnt like that... but I was a dorkus.
Even knowing that... i saw on a group Im on where a teen said that she and her friends were dressing up as sluts from different countries...and she was Germany so was going to be the Oktoberfest girl...
And that sort of shocked me.
I think, though, that there is a line and sometimes things are bigger to us than them.... I would have to feel out the intent and have some kind of modesty...before I allowed it.
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10-20-2006 @ 2:33PM
Lil Liberal said...Ugh. my husband and I were drawn to a poster that showed a ton of halloween costumes- by a cute little tyke in a fuzzy dog costume in the upper right. So we took a few moments to look at the other costumes, and starting at around what looked like 8 years old, all the girl's costumes were suddenly slutty. Super-short skirts, plunging necklines, etc. I was shocked, as I'm only 26 years old, and when I was a teenager, teenager's costumes were a lot more... err... respectful of one's age. And you had to go to some slut-shop like Fredrick's of hollywood to get a costume that made you look like a stripper from Vegas. Now it all seems to be a staple.
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10-18-2006 @ 7:25PM
VL said...I find it disturbing that women, or girls in this case, still equate hyper-sexuality with empowerment.
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10-18-2006 @ 10:40PM
April said...Limits should be set. Parents should be consistent in the amount of revealing or modest clothing that their children are allowed to wear. Halloween is no exception. The costume still needs to fit into "house rules."
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10-18-2006 @ 11:19PM
Anna V. said...Hey, Fredrick's of Hollywood isn't a 'slut-shop,' it's just a great shop for fun undies! But I do agree that kids' costumes this year are hyper-sexualized. A 'sexy witch' costume isn't a viable option for a preteen.
I'm glad my 3.5yo likes to dress up like a little princess... I'm not in any way/shape/form a feminist, and I think it's cute when little girls put on frilly dresses and pretend there's a Prince Charming to rescue them from a dragon. : )
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10-19-2006 @ 9:26AM
wookie said...I can understand how as girls are in their teen years that experimenting with "sexy" costumes is one way of testing boundries and all that sort of thing. As a mom of two girls under the age of 5, I know I'll be gritting my teeth a lot when they are in their teenage years. I just want to try and give them enough self-respect, confidence and common sense not to make bad decisions that may get them raped or attacked or ridiculed (and no, I'm NOT saying wearing sexy things is asking for it, I'm saying wearing sexy things to a party when you're 13, and drinking until you pass out is a bad decision).
But PRE-puberty? Can we stick with maybe Scooby Doo?
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10-19-2006 @ 12:03PM
Eden said...The one I don't get is the "Sexy Hermione Granger" costume. Here's a character created to exemplify intelligence, compassion, character... and she's been turned into a sexpot. Of all the threatened lawsuits, Rowling should truly go after that manufacturer.
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10-20-2006 @ 8:02PM
BadHairDad said...Your ongoing posts about halloween are very interesting. You have probably heard about the "Modesty Button" project, which I think is a creative response to the problem.
Since Halloween is a classic boundary-testing time for children and adults (good taste, fashion, sex, violence, etc), all of the media attention to sexy female costumes is another heavy burden for parents.
For the moment, my wife has created a magical tradition of hand-crafting our daughter's costumes each year. in addition to being an incrediuble labor of love, it has the unintended consequence of built-in parental veto power.
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10-21-2006 @ 12:29AM
mckenna said...I like BadHairDad's built-in veto power. Another is: don't send your kid with a fistfull of cash to buy her own costume (or any other prosti-tot outfit). With pre-teens it's super easy because they aren't working (for the most part). The kids' clothes at this age are in direct relation to parental choices. Teens that are working are a little more complicated, but this should also be handled with the same veto authority...ie: follow my rules or there are consequences. (if that's not ingrained by the teen years, then you're SOL)
We don't have a daughter, but if we did I guarantee there would be boundaries in this area. No sluttiness at Halloween or any other day of the year.
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10-21-2006 @ 2:26PM
Bambi said...I'm 16 years old. Even at my age, its disturbing for me to see girls trying to be sexy, because a)its not becoming at all, and b)they dont really understand that they dont look older, just stupider.
hey, your only a kid once, take advantage!! sexiness doesnt always imply beauty
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10-21-2006 @ 2:29PM
Kim said...i myself am a teen and i do not support wearing such sexy costumes. i understand why girls would want to as pretty much the main thing a teenage girl wants right now is to be pretty, popular, and to get the guy, but i honestly don't see why some girls think they have to sacrifice their clothing for such things.
if theres one thing im learning, moms out there, its teach your girls that you can be just as powerful, beautiful, and attractive without giving up your pride. not only will it save them from rumors in school, but it will help them see that they are more than just a sex object, they are people who are worthy of respect too.
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10-21-2006 @ 2:30PM
Kim said...I have to agree with the comment about the Bratz doll's. They are not allowed in my house. I don't like the way they are dressed. I have a ten year old and I am constantly telling her what she can wear and why she can't wear certain things. I have explained to her that someone who dresses that way is only looking to get the wrong attention. When we go shopping for clothes for her we do make comprimises, but not to take away from her age group. 90% of the costumes out there I have told her no she cannot have them. They are just too slutty.
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10-21-2006 @ 2:33PM
Kat said...I think the way the PARENTS are letting their preteens or tweens as we call them is horrifying! I tell my daughter i dont care whos parents let them do what, that she is MY daugher and she will abide by my rules and ideas of what is and is not appropriate. This year she talked all her friends into being football players from different teams....i am proud of her because the girl down the street last year, went as a pralor maid, and all the kids made fun of her and she got labeled...and her mother is a teacher and father a lawyer....my daughter saw the ridicule, and had the nerve to ask me why everyone thought it was so bad and admire her for not being embarassed to talk about it. This will be a great halloween for her, and I am excited to see all the girls in their favorite teams colors!
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