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What do you do with a mystery tantrum?
Filed under: Just For Moms, Development/Milestones: Babies
Nolan usually wakes up by rummaging happily in his crib, punctuating the sleepy morning silence with a "Ah? Uh-ah?" It's a sweet way to wake up, and I can't remember the last time we had to use an alarm clock, as he is very punctual in his 5:30 wake-ups.But this morning he woke at 5:36, whimpering. I went to the washroom before collecting him from his crib, and he threw his kitty on the floor and started wailing.
"Nolan!" I said, leaning in for a hug,"Why so grouchy?"
I changed his diaper and brought him downstairs for some rice milk, which he promptly threw on the floor. He seemed to be surly in general, so I checked his forehead. It wasn't warm, but he did have a molar cutting through - perhaps that was the source of his angst? I doubted it, though, because Nolan's always teething.
Nolan followed me around for most of the morning, crying to be lifted and then squirming to get away once I did lift him. I fed him and he threw his carrots on the floor, angry. Nothing was making him happy. I thought maybe he was tired - but then, you know, sometimes I get cranky because the light hits me the wrong way. Who's to say babies are any different?
I still didn't know what to do though. Ignore him? Keep trying to soothe his mystery funk?
What do you do with a grumpy baby?











ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
10-19-2006 @ 8:58AM
Heather said...He's looking to you for unconditional comfort and protection. Soothe that mystery funk and hope he'll feel better after his nap. A foul mood is no excuse for patently bad behavior (hitting, biting, etc), but if he needs extra love and attention, give it to him.
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10-19-2006 @ 9:01AM
Amy said...My(almost 2 year old) son did exactly the same thing 2 days ago, then yesterday he woke up sick. Just a very stuffy/runny nose, but it was enough to make him feel grumpy. My arms hurt from carrying him!
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10-19-2006 @ 9:21AM
wookie said...We sing the "What do you do with a grumpy baby" song at our house a lot (to the tune of "What do you do with a drunken sailor").
Put him in a long boat till he's sober?
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10-19-2006 @ 10:19AM
thordora said...Give them a good hug and go on with the day. I'm foul somedays too.
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10-19-2006 @ 10:08AM
Tina said...Molar pain does not compare to regular teething- it can cause just that clinginess, irritablity for days on end. I wouldn't call that a tantrum, though. Save that word for the real deal! Lots of extra cuddles!
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10-19-2006 @ 11:38AM
Jill said...Assume that he could wake up in the middle of a good, or bad dream, that he can want more sleep, or feel groggy from too much sleep, or uncomfortable in his body in some way today. Sometimes these mystery problems become more clear later, but sometimes they remain mysteries.
Unconditional love will teach him to provide it to others someday. I was on the sofa feeling lousy on Tuesday, and my toddler (who was home from "school" sick the same day) brought me one of his loveys to help me feel better. It did!
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10-19-2006 @ 11:33AM
elaine said...hey ladies, i so relate to much of what is written here with my 11 month old. so forgive the MAJOR learning curve, but is this site/blog thing something i need to log onto (I found it by accident) or what? can someone give me a blurb about how it works and how i can be a part? thanks, -elaine
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10-19-2006 @ 11:44AM
mckenna said...Didn't you say he was eating like a horse recently? I think he's going through a growing spurt, which can be accompanied by some aches. If that's the case, it depends on if you're a Tylenol person or not.
Mine also was going through a super picky phase recently and acted in much the same way as you described. I figured out he wasn't getting any iron. I gave him a vitamin drop and it was an instant fix. Has Nolan been eating his Cheerios?
If it's neither of those, then, yes, we've had plenty of mystery grumpy days. I try to plan lots of low-key but focus activities. Walks, play-dough, (of course lots of hugs) and once in awhile I just let him zone out to Nemo. It seems he was better with something to do, but was not good with independent play on those days.
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10-19-2006 @ 1:53PM
April said...I tell him firmly but kindly to look at me. Once I have his attention I just say "Stop." No emotion, just a plain, "stop." He frogets why he's sad and I can quickly distract him with his favorite book or toy and we can (hopefully) get on with our day.
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10-19-2006 @ 7:10PM
Tracy said...Oooo do I understand! Emerald is 18 mos on the 26th and she is definately going through it. Yestarday was "eat, eat, eat!" all day then frustrated wailing and throwing herself and stuff onto the floor with such passion, I expected the soap opera music to start up! From what I gather, this is a developmentally HUGE time for them, they are working on language, the "self" concept, how their bodies work, etc....the important thing to remember is that you want them to feel safe having emotions, especially around you! Try to just sit there with him, not trying to make it "better" or "go away", just being there with him while he vents some of his well earned frustration. Don't put a "time limit" on his feelings, no- "okay thats enough now", let him decide when he's done. It may be something you'll figure out tomorrow or next week, or it may be nothing you'll ever figure out. That doesn't make it invalid for him to feel that way. You only have to support him, keep him safe, but just let him have his feelings, most likely he'll scream for awhile (cry with him if you need to) then whatever is was will run it's course and the day can continue. Its hard not to "fix it", that is our roll as women and parents, but this is something he needs to work out personally.
Tracy
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