What did you wish you knew then?

Filed under: Work Life

I am feeling a little angst over my decision to stay home with Nolan.

It's not that I regret for a minute the extra time I'll spend with him. I cherish our mornings with the coffee percolating and the dawn stretching in through the windows. I try to capture the feeling of his little fingers raised to my lips, offering me a bite of his kiwi fruit. I make sure to smell his head often, be grateful for the fact that I'm not stuck in traffic every morning on my way to pay for overpriced downtown parking.

And I'm enjoying my new work-at-home job, a lot. But, I carry a lot of guilt for quitting a career I loved for a lot of years.

When I was pregnant with Nolan, my boss asked me if I was coming back to work.

"Of course!" I replied,"The sooner, the better. I can't imagine what I'd do at home all day with a baby."
"Well, let me know,"he said,"It all changes after the baby."

And in theory I knew that it did, it was just that I couldn't possibly grasp how much I would love this little being: how utterly he would transform my priorities and the way I viewed what was important. I guess you can't understand the future until you're in it, but if I would have known how fiercely I could love, I would have planned a lot differently. And perhaps I wouldn't have let my bosses down quite as much, wouldn't hold as much guilt for being yet another career woman who doesn't return to the field after baby.

What about you? What do you wish you'd known when you were expecting?

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AdviceMama Says:
Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.