What did you wish you knew then?

I wish I'd know how important it would be to have family around. We don't have any support, and it's very difficult. I've never lived near my family, actually kind of enjoyed being on my own. But now, I hate it. I wish I'd planned better and thought about that variable.

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How crushing my love for them would be, how fierce my urge to protect them would be.

I thought I had lost all capacity to feel passion in life long ago, but somehow, kids bring that back.

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I was lucky in that I was very young when my nieces and nephews were being born; I was eleven when the first came and I was nineteen when the last came. I didn't really harbor any thoughts of "I can have it all," or "Babies are so easy," or "What would I do all day with a baby," because my sisters-in-law were always pretty open about motherhood.

I wish I had known, however, that not all babies are "typical," that maybe my baby would be incredibly challenging and that it wouldn't be my fault. I wish I had known to push harder for someone to understand what we were going through, because then maybe we would have gotten help earlier. Things are great now (he's nine) but those first few years were quite hellish.

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I never knew I could love so strongly. I didn't know this feeling was physically possible.

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I could have written this post. I swore up and down to my small company that I would be back the first moment I could. The second I got home from the hospital, I realized I wasn't going back. I love being home with my son and I am surprised that I don't miss the corporate life at all. I feel like it has given me the opportunity to find a new path that could include my own business that still allows me to be with my kids.

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I am trying to get a hold of Kristen Scott. Does anyone know how I might be able to reach her directly?

I want to tell Kristen about a new product from Cozi. I don't want to post any "promitional" information here about the product; I prefer to share it directly with Kristen so she can decide if she wants to write about it.

Thanks for any pointers.

Robbie Cape

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Robbie you can visit her blog I believe she has an email address under contact me. http://tallnlucky.blogs.com/debaucherous_and_dishevel/

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You have a serious guilt problem. First you felt guilty for going back to work. Now you feel guilty for staying home. I think you need more kid-head sniffing and a lot less angst in your life.

Either that or just write about something else for a change. Your daily requests for child-rearing advice and your constant whining about feeling guilty make you seem like a really insecure, boring, attention-hungry person. Honestly, I expect much better writing than that from this blog (and by and large I get it from the other bloggers who are by far more interesting than your whiny drivel.

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nomoreguilt, I don't know why you lurk around here, but I visit to get and share advice on raising my children, as well as learn information that impacts my family. Give Kristen a break! She's still a new mom doing the best she can by her son and doesn't deserve treatment such as you have just given her. We are all in this parenting boat together, and as such, we should be supporting each other instead of hurling insults at each other.

As for me, I wish I had known how judgemental other mothers would be ;)

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nomoreguilt's email address and IP address indicates that she is Adrienne Backus, a frequent commenter here. It's interesting that she chose an alias for this particular comments.

Thank you, Michelle. For the record, her comment made me feel like crap. Yours helped.

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I think the more personal and open a blogger is about her life, the more she attracts resentment and meanness from other people. Dooce is a great model for that equation. I think it's sad and very curious. What is it about vulnerability that brings out the bullies online?

Kristen, thanks for being open with your life. You've provided a lot of entertainment and food for thought to other new moms and other readers. Bah to the bullies. I never get any on my site... because no one reads it! :-)

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*sigh* I don't know what I was thinking. Kristin's posts often touch a nerve with me because they're issues I struggle with as well from time to time. Not to mention that this has been a phenomenally bad day because of those exact issues. But really, that's no excuse for being so mean and deceitful. I would like to apologize publicly to Kristin and offer to refrain from posting comments to Blogging Baby in the future if Kristin and the rest of you so desire. I would hate for one hot-headed moment to be the impression you all have of me, but it's my own fault for going off without thinking it through.

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I also thought I would go back to work, and quit shortly after having my daughter. I felt bad for letting my bosses down, but in the long run, my daughter is what is most important, not a job. I have not ever regretted my decision to quit. I look at it as a season in my life- my daughter will only be little once, the years have flown and she will be in school before i know it. There will be plenty of time later for working again, but these years of her life are right now, and she and I wont have a chance to experiance them again. I will experiance many more jobs, Im sure.

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I just want Kristen to know her posts are the REASON I come back to read Blogging Baby. Every day.

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Funny, I love my son more than anything I can imagine, but I find myself happy to go back to work and establish a bit of me-time. I don't think that a woman's decision to stay at home or go back to work has anything to do with how much she loves her child, but rather what personal parenting style works best for her. In fact, it's a bit tough to swallow how many posts and comments talk about staying at home because they love their kids - I don't love my son any less than my staying at home friend loves her daughter. I'd love to hear from more working-outside-the-house moms because it really feels one-sided sometimes.

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Trish,
A happy mom is a loving mom. Keep doing what makes you happy and dont feel bad one bit!! I know lots of women who feel the same way you do and there is nothing wrong with that.

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Adrienne - Yeah, that was a mean post and you got busted, but I respect the fact that you apologized.

Kristin - Don't let Adrienne's post get u down. I feel the same way you do. I always feel guilty about everything. It's what being a mom is all about. You can go to your kids school and spend half the day with them and then have them tell u that they wanted you to pick them up from school when u didn't. Even tho you did the right thing, the guilt happens. It's just the way it is. If you didn't worry about doing the right thing for your kids, you'd probably be a pretty crappy parent. Keep your posts like this coming.

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