How to handle an inappropriate comment?

Filed under: Teens, Development/Milestones: Babies

Last night while walking with my son and his 8th grade class to a nearby pizza establishment, I fell into step with one of my son's peers. He said to me, "No offense, but I think you and Loren (my son) have an abnormal relationship. But really, no offense." Then he sauntered off to join the rest of the class. Huh. It was so out of the blue that I did not know what to say.

Frankly, I was a bit offended at first. Then I thought it over and decided that although Loren and I are very close, it is not an abnormality. There have been times over his 13 year life when it has only been the two of us. I first left his father when he was 18 months-old, only to reunite with his dad when Loren was 3. I then left his father again and filed for divorce when Loren was 9. Now, at 13, he has lost his grandfather and I have left his father for the last time. I have always been the one to be with him through the upheavals, encouraging him to express his feelings and helping him to feel safe. We might be closer than some 13 year-old boys and their mothers, but it is likely because we have weathered quite a few storms together and we trust one another. The closeness will likely lessen in his upcoming years; it is a reality of adolescence. Though I do suspect , and hope, that we will share a life long connection.

I shared the exchange with my son's teacher and told her my thoughts on the matter; I believe this particular boy was inappropriate with his comment. I don't hold it against him, he has some behavior problems and struggles with appropriateness every day. His comment prompted me to think about my relationship with my son; ultimately it made me grateful for that relationship.

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AdviceMama Says:
Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.