I completely agree with you. I am a married 21 year old mother of one, and let me tell you, all that preaching in school did nothing to sway me. What I was interested in was which birth control was best, which stds you could get rid of, and which ones you couldnt. I think, despite the puritans thinking that constantly brow-beating their kids will change the inevitable, that while one shouldnt encourage underaged or promiscuous sex, they also shouldnt be so blind to think that these kids are listening to the abstainence speach. The very few who do, have already made that choice for themselves...Sex ed didnt do it for them.
My favorite question for parents is would you rather have your child hide it from you and be unprepared and possibly come home with aids or a baby, or let them know that while you dont approve of it, you will help protect them by getting them on birth control, giving them condoms and talking to them about the subject in general. Im tired of people only teaching the bad. Yes, there are tons of bad possibilities, but when you find the right person, and are carefull, sex is a great thing meant to be enjoyed.

Reply

What I don't get is why can't it be "Just say no until you feel ready"? I think that is a far better message - to help kids feel confident about their decision to have sex or not, like with, as Jasmine exclaimed, information about STDs and how to prevent getting them and birth control. How to know if you are ready... Okay, that might be a harder one to teach but I think a lot of that is talking with your potential partner about pregnancy prevention as well as STD prevention.

I truly think that if we forget our embarassment about sex and really talk about the health aspects of it we would save ourselves a great deal of trouble and our kids would benefit. There would not be any pretense about not having sex and yet, in the case of my schoolmates, getting drunk at parties and having sex anyway. For myself my mother not being embarassed to talk about sex meant I did wait until I felt ready and I did talk to my partner about STDs and pregnancy prevention, and I was almost 19 years old as well. (God bless college...) I still feel like I did the right thing for me, and I am grateful for that. Doesn't anyone else think that would be the same for other kids?

Reply

There's nothing wrong with teaching abstinence as the most effective way to prevent pregnancy and/or STD. The feds insist that abstinence is the only way and some school districts go even further and aren't even allowed to discuss contraception except for the failure rate (often inflated).

Of course I'd rather the girls wait until they're ready in all respects, not just physically, but if that doesn't happen I want them protected as much as possible.

Reply

I favor abstinence and do not think it unrealistic or irrational to want to teach it as a standard for sex ed classes. Yes, I know it's unfortunate that some parents don't teach their kids things and the kids have to learn it elsewhere. But still, I don't think kids should be given advice on how to be sexually active "responsibly". Are we underestimating that the children? Are we all such animals that we can't control our urges? Maybe sex ed should have a component that teaches the students to deal with peer pressure, too!

Reply

I think a "Just Say No" Abstinence Campaign is important because the message being received is that it's cool to "just say no." It's also a recognized position that other teens will recognize and respect. I also think that sex education in the class and communication coming from parents plays a valuable role in the thought process. Not all kids will buy into the campaign, but it's just as important as other campaigns such as Meth for example.

Reply