I'll tell my child she's adopted when I'm good and ready

Filed under: Adoption, Activities: Babies, Media, Sex

Hallelujah! At least somebody has the cojones to call "adoption experts" on the carpet for dispensing "advice" on how to inform your child that he or she was adopted.

John Rosemond takes these people behind the woodshed by saying that "telling the truth" about a child's adoption before he or she is old enough to truly understand it is counterproductive and hurtful. I agree with his recommendation that adoption is just a very small part of a person's life, and it shouldn't play a bigger role than it already has.

How refreshing to hear that! I have grown so weary of adoption experts telling me that I should have broached the subject with my child when she was about 3 years old and then gradually reinforce the message as she grows older. What a crock of bullsh**t Kids have it tough enough to navigate through life by simply growing up, and I'm supposed to make things even more complicated by trying to explain to my (now) 6-year-old daughter that by the way, you were adopted and here's the whole story. Can I traumatize the kid even more?

I also agree that I should tell my child "the truth" about her adoption, but I'll do it when I think she can truly understand what it all means and that she was not rejected by her birthmother but accepted and wanted by two people who desired to give her as good a life as they could. People who adopt should be treated with all the respect they deserve, and by not putting means tests on them in order to satisfy those who criticize from afar.

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AdviceMama Says:
Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.