What is the price tag on a divorce?

Filed under: Divorce & Custody, Day Care & Education

The other day I met a woman who is very unhappy in her marriage. She and her husband have been married for 14 years and have two sons, ages 11 and 6. He is a very successful business man, she stays home with the kids; she left her job as a trial lawyer when her first son was born. They now enjoy a very luxurious lifestyle that includes fabulous vacations and a second home. Unfortunately, the two have grown apart and allowed resentments and anger to fester between them. Marital and individual therapy are a staple in both of their lives but they have still been discussing a divorce for several years.

Divorce gets 50 percent of us who walk down the aisle and vow to stick it out for better or worse. My friend and her husband are no different from millions of other couples. However, in their case a divorce would be extremely time consuming and sticky. With the many assets and finances involved, neither of them are quite ready to step into the mess of dividing everything. Together they are able to live an amazing, though unhappy life. If they part ways, she could lose the second house, vacations to the Bahamas would not be as frequent and the boys' private schools could become a burden; most people who divorce experience this on some level. A divorce demands that the resources be divided and stretched to cover two households instead of one, this leaves each new house with less for more.

My friend's case is more extreme than most; most of us don't have multiple vehicles and second homes to squabble over in front of a judge. When I initially got a divorce, I hired a lawyer but my ex-husband did not. He was willing to allow my lawyer take care of things. There was not much in the way of assets to divide, we walked away with whatever we had when we took our vows. In terms of finances, our divorce had a very small price tag. But I am curious about other people. What was the tag on your divorce? Share your story with us.

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AdviceMama Says:
Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.