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When the chicks fly the nest. The end of the family bed?
Filed under: Teens, Feeding & Sleeping
A few weeks ago I promised a couple of readers that I would update them when, and if, my family bed statues changed. Well, rest assured those of you who had a raised eyebrow or two over my 13 year-old son's presence in the family bed, he has made the move. Loren had actually been making noise for a couple of weeks about making the change. He tried it one night, only to quietly come down the stairs within an hour to ask if he could join his younger sister and me for the night. A couple of days later he mentioned that he had been cold that one night and that maybe flannel sheets would be a good idea. The next day I produced a set of said sheets and put them at the bottom of his stairs. A few nights after that he asked me if I would help him make his bed with the new, soft sheets. Then he asked me if I would tuck him in. And that was that.Loren has been sleeping on his own, on a different floor of the house, for the last five nights. He says he loves having a bed all to himself; no kicking from his sister, no dogs vying for a place on his pillow, just him. Alone. I am happy for this step he has made. Although it has been a crowded five months, I know that he needed the security of the family bed to help him cope with death of his grandfather and the split of his parents. I told him he can come back to visit when and if he needs any extra security. I miss the little guy, but I am happy that he made the decision to move on his own. It feels rights. Now I wonder if his nine year-old sister might fancy a bed of her own....











ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
11-17-2006 @ 10:19PM
Nancy Toby said...Awww, that sounds like a very happy ending to the story. Thanks for updating us.
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11-18-2006 @ 3:29AM
Kate said...Glad for you guys, it's a right step. Children should learn independence. :)
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11-18-2006 @ 5:10AM
Jenn said...I think it's great that he was comfortable even coming down to sleep with you in the first place :o) A lot of 13-year-olds would not have been secure enough to realize they wanted and needed that extra comfort.
And then that he has moved back to his own bed when he felt the time was right, even better :o)
I'm no psychologist, but it seems to me that his actions seem to show he's got a lot of emotional maturity and insight into his own feelings, especially for a 13-year-old boy!
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11-18-2006 @ 12:44PM
Jen said...Congratulations to your son!
I'm glad he's feeling more comfortable with sleeping on his own, and also that you didn't make him feel bad for not wanting to before. I'm also happy that you've been able to write about it honestly--I think more parents and kids have had the family bed than are willing to admit. It's certainly happened in my extended family, even with older kids.
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11-18-2006 @ 3:19PM
Ginny said..."my family bed STATUES changed"
Does it hurt when you accidentally rub up against one? heh heh I couldn't help myself.
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11-18-2006 @ 7:41PM
Lea said...I admire you for respecting his needs and not making him feel bad for being vulnerable while you have such big changes going on.
It seems kids need "babying" at all different ages. And it seems if you give them the comfort they need, they're that much better equipped to handle life on their own--which is the whole point of good parenting, anyway.
Congratulations on recovering a little more room in your bed! And thanks for being willing to share your family's news, even when it sounds a little suprising or unusual.
- L
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