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Mommy Wars: The Prequel?
Another mother told to cover her breastfeeding child with a blanket or leave
Filed under: Your Pregnancy, Nutrition: Health
At the same time all the controversy was heating up in Vermont with the mother who was told to cover up her breastfeeding child with a blanket or get off a Delta Airlines flight, another mother in Texas was told she couldn't breastfeed her baby at a movie theater unless she covered up with a blanket. Kimberly Barthollemew, a mother in Seguin, Texas had taken her 5-month old to see Flushed Away at the King Rancher Theater, and was asked to stop breastfeeding her kid in the ticket line and in the lobby. Barthollemew claims she was approached by an employee who told her she couldn't nurse inside the theater. She asked for a refund for her tickets, then told the theater it was violating state law, which says a mother is entitled to breastfeed in any location. The theater's manager, Rick Uhlhorn, had this to say in reply: "To me, you can breast feed any place, that's fine. They thought she should use more modesty doing that." He claimed Barthollemew was making a scene, and offending other customers and their children by not covering up. "One of the concession girls asked her to cover up with a blanket because customers were complaining," he said. Barthollemew responded, "I don't feel my baby should have to have his dinner under a hot blanket if the owner's not willing to do the same."Questions: why did this mom think it was acceptable to take a 5-month-old to a movie theater (unless this was one of those mommy-and-me screenings)? Was her whole boob hanging out? Had she read the story about the mother in Vermont and gone to the theater to try to make some kind of point or get on the news herself?
I'm going to play the devil's advocate here and ask if some breastfeeding mothers/ lactivists sometimes feel the need to "make a point" by breastfeeding in a way that will make the squeamish douchebags uncomfortable, just so they can express their indignation and make a scene, kind of a "it's great, we lactate, get used to it," kind of thing? I'm not saying that's what Barthollemew did, but if it were, do even the most breastfeeding-positive people need to support such antics? In my opinion, that kind of behavior hurts the cause. Common sense and moderation will always win, and discretion, when possible, never hurts.
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ReaderComments (Page 2 of 2)
11-21-2006 @ 7:26PM
J.D. said...Oh golly, you're right Adrienne, you won't hear any more from me, because I'm off to join the Taliban! Thanks for helping me realize that I'm a big jerk just like all the other prudes out there.
Reply
11-21-2006 @ 8:00PM
momma2mingbu said...I agreew with Wallaby. If a mom needs to use a cover up or a blanket to make herself feel comfortable nursing in public, then she should go for it. Whatever helps her nurse her baby, because that's what it's all about.....meeting the needs of the child.
BUT.....PERSONALLY.....I never used anything to cover us up. I always thought that using a cover or blanket was like putting out a neon sign that read, "NURSING BABY.....PLEASE DON'T LOOK!" I also think that it sends the wrong message....that you are doing something that isn't accepted and needs to be hidden.
I found that if I dressed for easy access, I could nurse discretely in public with very little problem. The child's body really covers everything and you see less than on most magazine covers or on the red carpet at the Oscars. I also nursed in a sling a lot.
Reply
11-21-2006 @ 10:02PM
Amy said...I happen to have lived in Seguin, Tx. only a year ago. When I had my first child he had breathing problems that would cause him to stop breathing when he was nursing. I was told by doctors not to cover him while he was nursing. I nursed him in public with no problem. Yeah a few people would stare, but which would you rather have a child quietly nursing or a screaming hungry child?
Reply
11-21-2006 @ 10:22PM
Tara said...J.D. I think you misunderstood me.
I am glad that you support breastfeeding and that you want it to be more accepted publically. But have you ever actually seen somebody breastfeeding to "make a point"? Will you tell us about it? Because I've never myself seen it. I really don't think it happens that often.
Does it? Am I wrong?
Reply
11-22-2006 @ 8:24AM
Anna said...I just plain don't look at moms who are breast-feeding in public.
1. It's not my business.
2. It makes the mom feel uncomfortable.
3. I am not comfortable seeing it either.
I know I'll get responses on that last comment, but yes...I'm a mom to a 17 month-old boy. No, I did not breast-feed. I actually had no milk come in at all to do so. Still, I don't feel comfortable viewing, but more so for the mom who's trying to do a private thing in a public place.
One instance brought to mind was a party at a former boss' house. It was all adults there, but one co-worker decided to bring her infant son for everyone to see. She was in the middle of talking to me in the living room and started undressing her top and started feeding her son. I was uncomfortable with that because she's a co-worker, and not a sister or cousin-etc. I thought she should have gone to a bedroom to do that, but that's my 2 cents.
Reply
11-22-2006 @ 9:16AM
Jason said...JD -
Not trying to pile on, but there is nothing in the story that indicates that the person was doing this to start a fight. This is just your speculation. I don't know how raising this hypothetical and having people argue over it - which puts the idea that this happens in a lot of peoples minds - supports breastfeeding.
It just adds another reason (or excuse) to be against breastfeeding. "Yeah, I have no problem with breastfeeding behind close doors, but why do they have to throw it my face... They are just doing this to prove a point." If that happens, it is such a small percentage >1%, it's not worth talking about.
Reply
11-23-2006 @ 2:34PM
MamaChristy said...I went to college in Seguin. It is a backwards little town that could use some schooling when it comes to the STATE-PROTECTED RIGHT to breastfeed a child in public. Look away if you don't like it is right.
Reply
11-28-2006 @ 9:40PM
Ceallach said...Okay, I looked at the law on LLL website....the law does not state that she needs to be discreet. In fact the texas law actually states that 'breastfeeding must be encouraged' and also says it's allowed anywhere.
In point of fact, the manager broke the law, by making it an issue. He should have spoken to the customer complaining about the mom nursing and clarified that the activity was legal and refused to address the complaint to the nursing mom. He could also have taken the teachable moment and told the whinger that nursing a baby is a natural act and encouraged legally in the state of Texas, and she should do the same.
I don't understand why folks are so upset about nursing in public. It's not like nursing moms are whipping it out anywhere and everywhere....they are feeding a baby, for crying out loud.
As for discretion, it is very subject to interpretation, and the LLL recommendation is that it not be addressed because of that....In some states, the laws specifically state that it not be required.
I really think someone just had an issue, and instead of telling the children that she is feeding the baby, they made it an issue. I just bet the children part is totally a red herring....it bothered someone's delicate sensibility, and so they made it a child's welfare sitch instead of just being honest or looking away.
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1-01-2007 @ 3:49AM
Lauren said...Just another reason why I'm proud to be from Texas. Obviously, Mom was trying to make a scene and get some attention. Well, she got it all right! Cover up next time, Ma.
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