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You know you're divorced when...
Filed under: Just For Moms, Just For Dads, Divorce & Custody, Places To Go, Development/Milestones: Babies
...You are able to spend the holidays without your kids. This Thanksgiving marks the first holiday that I will be without my children for a significant holiday. Although their father and I have actually been divorced for nearly four years, we have always spent the holidays as one sort of broken-but-not-quite family. However, since their dad and I have gone our separate ways for good, we have now decided to split up the holidays and each of us do our own thing. The children have mixed feelings about this arrangement. They are relieved that there will be none of the usual tensions, but also sad that one of us will be absent from either Thanksgiving or Christmas. I, too, have these feelings. I will miss my brood but not the fighting or undercurrents of anger.This morning I dropped off the kids at my ex's new home so that they could get on the road to visit his parents. All was fine until I saw Matt, my ex. We made eye contact and both shared a moment of sadness. We hugged and wished each other well. After the hug I saw three pairs of eyes glued to us, none of them quite knowing what to make of the contact. We both smiled at them, and I then hugged and kissed them all and bid them good-bye. I drove away with tears in my eyes and indulged in a few moments of what-if's and if-only's.
We are divorced and by definition that means separate. I will miss them all this Thanksgiving. I will miss the good memories and think of them eating turkey and pie. But I will also treasure a new memory, one with no fights or tension. And I will look forward to Christmas when they will be mine for the day.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
11-21-2006 @ 4:38PM
Ginny said...Aw, how sad. I got all choked up. It's an arguement for trying to work things out, that's for sure. I hope you don't miss them too much. Try to enjoy yourself.
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11-21-2006 @ 4:44PM
Ginny said..."It's an arguement for trying to work things out, that's for sure"
I didn't mean you, btw. Just thought I should clarify.
Reply
11-21-2006 @ 4:52PM
prdmommyof3 said...I am so sad for you today, and yet so proud of how you handled it. I have seen and heard of the horrible circumstances that kids of divorced parents can see when being handed over to the other parent for the holidays. So much anger, resentment and contempt can be shown. But you handled it beautifuly, by seeing you and your ex hug, your children saw a united front that could understand each others pain, that no matter what you are both still their parents. And it is natural and even good that you didn't try to hide that you would miss them, because that is a natural feeling, but you did it with out putting guilt on them. There are many people that could learn a lesson by how you are both handling this. I commend you. Have a happy Thanksgiving and an even happier Christmas!
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