Boy arrested for opening Christmas present early

Hmmm...I won't share my thoughts about the mother. I might not be able to post again on this sight. Anyway, I did find it surprising that the Smoking Gun website didn't black out the address of the residence where the mother and boy lives. I wouldn't doubt if she doesn't end up with un-welcomed letters/visitors.

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meh, we had that problem once, our five year old decided he could not wait, even tho the consequences had been spelled out to him. He hasnt tried it since, becuase his shiny fire truck was put in the donation box at toys for kids by his own wee hands

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I think next Christmas she should get the kid a big box o' therapy.

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I read this article about it: http://www.wral.com/holidays/10467838/detail.html
According to it, the boy has "shoplifted, stolen money from her, punched a police officer and is nearing expulsion from school."

I still don't think she made the right choice, but just wanted to mention that it sounds like his "disruptive" behavior is non-trivial. I think that given the behavior she just shouldn't have bought him the gift.

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In an article on CNN, the mother talks about how her son has some other problems, and is in the process of being expelled for taking a swing at an officer or something, and that this was her way to have him "get help". The smoking gun link doesn't really tell the backround.

However, this is still ridiculous.

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Clearly, this child has issues already - including assaulting a police officer. Here on the blogging baby entry - the boy's age is not mentioned. Along with the picture of the young-ish child, and the lack of mention in this entry about the boy's other offenses - this creates the implication from this blogging baby entry that this was an isolated incident from a young child. I'm disappointed that the author of this entry along with the Blogging Baby editors skewed our impression of this incident without providing all the facts.

This was a 12 year old boy, who has had other run ins with the law in the past. Some 12 year olds mature earlier than others - I remember 12 year olds in my middle school that looked like high schoolers. To that end - the mother may have been trying to have the boy's behavior documented in an official way should it become necessary down the road to seek out treatment for him. It is important for us not to judge others' actions if we have not walked in their shoes.

--*Rob

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There is a book every parent should read called The Never Ending Story. One part is about a little boy who was emotionally undernourished and was fed fruit from the womans hat. He became strong. I think that this little boy needs lots of love, unconditional.

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If the kid was warned not to open the present, & he did it anyway... Then that tells me, his mother has been sitting on her ass for a long time! The kid knows she isn't ever going to get up & do anything about his bad behavior. I think the mother needs to get off her ass! If she was going to have children, then she should be able to handle the job! She sounds like so many today, that rely on someone else to watch the kids,to correct the kids, ect... I think she should take parenting classes! The kid might stand a chance then... At the rate she's going the kid will never learn right from wrong, & she is destroying the child's self esteem, by making him feel he did something criminal,as she called Police! People with low self esteem usually don't have much of a life!
She needs to GET A LIFE, & Maybe call SUPER NANNY!

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Oh geez...like that's going to solve any problems.

As for the name and address being visible in the records, if I recall correctly, thesmokinggun.com only posts what is publicly available. They aren't posting something you wouldn't be able to find yourself.

(And it's not like it was rape or murder...)

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I don't think it's a huge "good versus evil" ethical thing for a kid to snoop into Christmas presents. I think it's normal human nature to be curious and to seek out information, and it's probably best not to make a big deal about it or to squash that normal impulse. Keep the presents in the trunk of the car or somewhere else they really can't be found if it's that freakin' important that they not be opened.

That said, it does sound like the kid and his family have some behavioral issues that need to be addressed, though this may have been a pretty heavy-handed way to do it.

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The more I think about it, the more I think bluepaintred's solution to holiday snooping was cruel and counterproductive.

I'll bet the kid does not grow up to be a scientific researcher or an investigative journalist, after being firmly taught that being curious and investigating things on his own is WRONG.

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Nancy, why is that cruel? A five year old is old enough to be taught that there are consequences to your actions. If he was told "don't do this, or THIS will happen", it's cause and effect, and the child learns a lesson about how to follow instructions, and what happens when you don't.

You could say not letting him play with matches or not dissecting the cat also impedes the scientific process. One instance of learning a lesson the hard way isn't going to stunt a child's intellectual growth.

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I think bluepaintred's solution was also bad because it doesn't teach the child about the good of donating things to kids who don't have as much. Charity shouldn't be a punishment.

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Being curious and investigating things is one thing. Rooting through private things, after you've been told not to is another. I think Bluepainted's solution was ingenious, and appropriate for a five-year-old who can understand the consequences of his actions.

Perhaps if the mother of the boy in the story had employed some discipline like this at a young age, the problems may have been avoided.

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That's a question of judgment and balance, I believe, Thordora. It sounds to me like the punishment was way out of proportion to the "crime", if there was any crime. I don't think it's appropriate to to say you're going to chop a 5-year-old's hands off if they steal, either, even if they're warned in advance that would be the consequence.

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A more creative (and I think kinder) solution is to perhaps wrap up a different, less desirable present in the package that has been snooped in. That sends the message without saying a word when it gets opened. The kid still gets the original present, maybe in a different bigger more elaborate box. And is again disappointed when the surprise has been ruined and nothing bigger and more exciting is inside. The surprise being ruined should be it's own punishment.

Besides, what is the real message here of harshly punishing snooping in Christmas presents? If they're presents for YOU, it's not exactly like snooping in other people's belongings. It's just opening presents early. It's taking away the PARENT'S enjoyment of the opening surprise.

But I think it's totally predictable, normal human nature to be inquisitive, and when kids act that way I think creative solutions are in order (hide presents better, etc.) than harsh punishments.

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Presents are a priviledge, as I was always reminded as a child.

if I snooped, and went digging in my parents room for anything, and I found it, I did not get it. Period.

My parents bedroom was private, as were many of the areas where the presents were "hidden".

To follow the logic, children should not be punished for doing something they were told not to do.

Granted, I don't think the present should have gone to charity, but rather into the garbage. Inquisitive is one thing-rooting around in someone's things, be they presents for you or not, is NOT something I would want my children to be raised to do. Just because someone is likely to give something to you does not make it YOURS. Just because your mother might be leaving you something in her will doesn't make it right for your to root through her room looking for it.

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Well... first of all.. if his behavior is so out of control.. why is he even getting this particular gift??

It sounds like the mom blaming the child for how he was raised...

Christmas in our house is minimal.. and when I used to be a church person.. it was more about church and the gifts were after.

This is a result of instilling entitlement into our kids to the Nth extreme.

She should have just simply not bought that gift.. or not put it under the tree... The other issues have nothing to do with this situation.

I agree with the Suppernanny comment. Jo will tell her like it is!!!!

I also agree with the person who said the Charity should not be a punishment.. it should be just naturally instilled as the child grows!!

The obvious consequence to this action should be at the minimum, returning the item to the store.

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So, we should reward the behavior (he was told not to snoop) by giving the present to the child, re-wrapped in a bigger and better box, AND give the child another present? How is that discouraging the bad behavior?

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LS, your kid only gets one present per year?
Thordora, you never snooped in anything that wasn't your business in your adult life?

I just don't think it's such a heinous crime. As I said, it's pretty normal inquisitive, exploratory behavior for a kid. Not much different from snooping in the fridge and eating something when they're not supposed to. I guess you would not feed them for a week if they ate something from the fridge that they were told not to? Again, it's a case of the punishment fitting the crime.

I didn't say the behavior was to be encouraged. Rather, there are kinder, gentler ways to address the behavior that is considered undesirable.

I think harsh punishments can punish more than what they're intended for. Ruining Christmas for a child is pretty harsh. Stamping out natural curiousity and inquisitiveness that isn't really harming anything in a child is a terrible thing, IMO. The only thing really being harmed in this situation are the parents' expectations - and THEY need to get a grip and act like adults dealing with children with some perspective and restraint. The burden is on the parent to address the situation in a more positive way.

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