Having kids at a young age when your friends are still fancy and footloose

What, 20-year-olds aren't tired after being up all night nursing/feeding?

I had my first at 32 and my second at 34. I wouldn't even discuss kids with my husband until age 30 (uch to his dismay) and even at age 30 I wasn't ready. I wanted to make sure that I did everything I wanted to do pre-kids *pre-kids* so I didn't have any regrets. I went grad school, travelled (and look forward to doing more travelling both with the kids and without them when they are older).

I did a lot of livin' between the time I graduated from college at 21 and when I had kids. All of that experience, I feel, makes me a better, more confident, more patient mom. (I would have been a disaster as a parent at age 22, so more power to you, Heather.)

I will be 50 when my eldest goes to college. Hardly an age for wheelchairs and walkers. I think you are being "tongue-in-cheek" with this post, but I have to chime in and say that being an "old mom" is fantastic, too.

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It's true, a young parent feels out of the loop, but
atleast a young parent has tons of energy to keep up with baby. I had my son, now 25 years old, when I was
18, and a daughter four years later.
There were times of feeling trapped, but my priority
was with them and luckily, I had a husband who could
support us without me having to work. A rare treat for
most moms, younge or older.
We grew up together and now, I am 44 and have time to
look back on what was, is and hopefully, what is to be in the future. And I will still be here for them, God
willing, and their children. Having had an older mother, myself, sadly, I lost her when I was just 25, so for me, this is just find.
And I was blessed because she was able to see and enjoy both of my babies, although it was a short time.

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My husband and I married when I was 17..concieved Taylor at age 18 and now on the verge of 21, I am looking at having our second child. Although many "teenage" pregnancies are accidental, ours was not, I wanted to marry young, have children young and be a stay at home until all my children reach school-age,and then I will find work in their schools...I plan on getting my teaching degree in the meantime while my kids are still at home..I can work at my own pace and however long it takes me, will be just fine.I am in no rush, since my oldest is just 2 and our 2nd isn't even conceived yet, I have plenty of time :) Some people's lives lead down this road of young motherhood, others are just not ready at 20-something, and nothing at all is wrong in either decison, its all part of diversity,it makes the world go round :)

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I just turned 21 and my son will be 3 months old in a few days. I have to say, it really bums ya out when your friends are spending their weekends carefree.. and I have to sit by and watch them disapear. I dont hear from them much anymore, because I have other duties. But, no matter what, I dont and never will regret having my son. I fall in love all over again when I look into his eyes. I also would rather be spending time with my son, then partying my life away til im 40 and have nothing to show for it. So, yes, I am a little bummed that I cant just "go" when I want Mc Donald's or I want to sit and have a cocktail with friends, and yes, it hurts to know my single friends dont come around anymore, but hey, this is a better life than not having direction and not having the baby Ive always wanted.

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I had my first daughter when I was 18. My second daughter came four years later. I was still in high school when I became pregnant with my first daughter. I dropped out in my senior year, and not many relationships at that age are meant to last. I needed to support my daughter.... She missed out on play dates and, well alot with me being so young and broke. With my second daughter it was much easier. I'm sure it is because I had experience, but also because I had out grown my child hood, found a great husband, and am more financially secure. In my opinion, if you are thinking about having a baby at such a young age, reconsider. 25 is a great age to start THINKING about having children

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Well, I guess I`m the flip side of that: I was 29 and my husband was 30 when we had our first, and I regret that we didn`t wait a few more years. If we had to do it all over again, I would certainly want to do it much differently.

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I don't think there is a right or wrong age. Everyone is different. I had my first at 21 and wouldn't change a thing. We were married and ready for a baby and it was just right. I have an older Mom who wasn't involved and was always to "tired" so I knew from any early age that I would not by choice be that old when I started to have kids. What works for me im sure doesn't work for everyone and that's fine. As someone who was young getting married and starting a family I in no way encourage others to follow in our footsteps. Its hard work and most young people are not mature enough these days. At the same time I hate hearing people talk down about the people who chose to start families young. Maybe its just me but having kids has never slowed me down. We have been able to do everything we want. I am a SAHM and have just as much if not more patience then a lot of the older moms I see. Being older doesn't necessarily make you a better, more confident, more patient Mom.

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"while they will be looking at wheelchairs and walkers when their kids are in high school."

Ouch, that sounds pretty snarky to me. How do your friends feel about that statement?

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I got pregnant with my son when I was 18. He will be 2 in April, and I am now 21, and still in college. Sometimes I do feel like I am missing out on a lot of the normal college life-- I go to class, and go to the library and study if I have a break between classes, so when I pick my son up from daycare and go home I can concentrate on taking care of the household. I almost never go to parties or go out with friends, and to tell the truth the friends I have at school I only see at school or talk to on the phone. We never even discuss doing other things because they know I have other responsibilities. A lot of the friends my boyfriend and I had stopped coming over when we had the baby.
That being said, I think having a child when we did was the best thing that could have happened to my boyfriend and I. Before, we were both working at fast food restaraunts, but mostly living off my parents' money. We smoked weed all the time and I skipped so many classes, and went to so many classes high, that I don't know how I managed to still get such good grades (maybe because they were easy freshman classes; I know I couldn't do it now!).
After our son was born my boyfriend got his driver's liscence and a good job that is hard work but pays way better than fast food and has benefits so our son can have health insurance. I stopped working and now I just concentrate on school. I hardly ever skip classes because it just seems dumb now, to waste time doing something else when we are paying for child care so I can go to school. We both stopped smoking and now if I do do it it is usually a special occasion, and I wonder how I managed to function all through high school and the first year of college like that.
Also my relationship with my family, especially my mom, has improved a lot. We talk on the phone all the time and when I go down there to visit I enjoy spending time with them way more than I used to.... I am not sure how that happened, since she was understandably opposed to me having the baby in the first place, but I am thankful that it has.
Anyways I didn't mean to write a book, but my point is that although some people aren't ready to have a kid at a young age, for some people a child is just what they need to give their life a focus and a direction. Now I base every decision I make on how it will affect my family. Sure my friends are "fancy and footloose," but when I think about the things they're doing, and compare that to the fact that I actually CREATED a PERSON who is depending on me to take care of all his needs and raise him up to be a good man, all those other things seem kinda frivolous.

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I waited until I was 29 to have my first child and have no regrets at all. I'll be 47 when he graduates from high school and highly doubt that I'll be shopping for a wheelchair yet.

But I feel for your situation, it's not as much fun when everyone your age seems to be in a different place. I like having friends with kids my son's age, it gives you so much more in common and is easier to plan get-togethers if you both have to get home for 8:00 bedtimes.

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im 28 and pregnant with my first child.......i had planned on having my first child at 30 but things happen lol.........i think that women should wait on having kids.....and get a chance to know ur self before settling down and getting married.........i really enjoyed my self in my single years......i graduated from college and had fun starting a career and doing whatever i wanted.

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