Angelina Jolie feeds Maddox a plate of crickets

Why say "adopted son"?

Why not just say "son"?

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Because I'm a terrible, horrible, insensitive asshole, Eva. And a meanie. And I hate adoptive parents. Oh, and because he was adopted.

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can't speak for j.d., but while i'm very sensitive to the overuse of 'adopted' when talking about people's children - because it is usually completely irrelevant - it *is* irrelevant in this sense. if, somehow, someone didn't know that angelina jolie had adopted children from asia and africa, it would be confusing if she had a biological child whose homeland was somehow cambodia. it clarifies their relationship with that part of the world.

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My son was born in Ethiopia, and we eat Ethiopian regularly, no matter how "weird" others may find it. Some people also find "weird" our transracial family.

One could also say Angelina is a great model for other international families, who work hard to give their kids a sense of their home country.

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thank you, katie, for seeing the sense. I used the word adopted there because it made sense. if maddox had not been adopted, it would not make sense for her to give him this cultural experience.

honestly though, the hair-trigger sensitivity among commenters here sometimes makes me just want to go in the opposite direction of the P.C. orthodoxy they are trying to shove down my throat. speaking of which, daisy, I was suggesting that it would be weird if she wanted to eat the cockroaches she found in her own home, not that she wanted to eat cockroaches. Cripes, people. I was born in Michigan, but I eat Ethiopian all the time, too. I'm sure you'll find a way to be offended by that on behalf of every other transracial international adoptive lesbian club-footed down syndrome family out there, eh?

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Katie, do you think there are people who read this blog who don't know Maddox was adopted? Or couldn't guess it from the photo?

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daisy - in the photo i see the back of his head, so who knows.

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oops, and i clearly meant it *is* relevant in this case.

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Katie, I am quite confident that you knew that Maddox Jolie was adopted before you read this post.

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JD, get your hackles down and have some sensitivity towards kids like mine who have endured more emotional hardship, including losing their first parents, than you and I can ever imagine. (Imagine your little one losing you, and then imagine how pissed you'd be when people made fun of that later in life.)

Kids like mine get called "oreos" because they're not black enough (or whatever enough). But they get harassed by police because they are black. And they have to listen to other kids on the playground tease playmates by calling them "adopted."

This isn't about being PC, it's about having some human kindness towards kids who have had a rougher start in life than I'd ever wish on anyone. Sometimes they like to pretend their normal too, you know?

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daisy, i'm not seeing i didn't understand the post. i'm saying that the word serves a purpose. i hope more than i can express that there are people out there who aren't familiar with the details of angelina jolie's family.

as i said, this is something i am very sensitive to - as a birthmother. how to use 'adopted' in discussions arises quite often - but i do not describe my son as his parents' adopted son, nor do i describe them as his adoptive parents - they are simply a family. this doesn't mean that there aren't times that i have to refer to his adoption to clarify, however.

insisting that any reference to adoption in discussing a family relationship is willfully political and i'd argue that it does the opposite of what is intended - i think that by insisting that any use is offensive/divisive you are adding stigma to the discussion of families created by adoption by denying a frank admission of how the family was created.

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katie, thanks for your explanation. i'm not insisting any use of "adopted" is political or wrong. i'm the one who told michael he was on crack for not telling his daughter she was adopted (until he clarified what he meant). well those weren't my exact words. (and i'm not the one who raised this issue here in the first place.)

anyway, most articles about maddox refer to him as the "adopted son." why can't he ever just be angelina's son?

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"honestly though, the hair-trigger sensitivity among commenters here sometimes makes me just want to go in the opposite direction of the P.C. orthodoxy they are trying to shove down my throat. "

I'm with ya JD. It's out of control. Not just on this blog either. It's happening to Rosie O right now too, among others.

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AND for the record JD, YOU jumped on MY case for being an insensitive bitch regarding the towing situation in a post recently....so, you seem to be able to dish it out too...so take it as it comes.

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Why did they go to a restaurant in the "middle of the night"? Instead of, say, at dinner time, like normal people.

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JD - I promise that all your readers aren't bored, right wing, stick-up-their-asses, "ninnies" for lack of a better word. I'm not going to name names.......KATIE AND DAISY....but.....really. Shut up already you two. LET IT GO. MOVE ON. The comments at BB lately have been a nightmare. Do the BB contributors have to tiptoe around like apron wearing stiffs for you to be happy? A little opinion here and there is great. A little edge is nice. If you can't take the heat, go....read at the library.
I'm afraid we're going to lose JD here at BB just like we lost the last GREAT/COOL/AWESOME and most of all REAL contributor - Melissa. Really people, think before you WHINE, I mean "comment". Pick your battles.

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I`m willing to guess the middle of the night thing has a whole lot to do with time differences than anything else. If you`re up, and your kid is up, you can`t fall asleep and are hungry... What`s wrong with going out to eat?

Anyway, I think it`s very nice that she is trying to keep some of her son`s cultural identity alive. Because, you know, he was adopted, and has a past that deserves to be recognized rather than swept under the carpet. A child can both be recognized as adopted and be your child too. It`s not mutually exclusive.

And daisy - while it`s all very sad that your children are bullied and made fun of... I have to say... Children are children. If there was nothing obvious about them to pick on, things would be made up or searched out. And someone out there deciding that an adopted child should never be referred to as one is not going to change the reality that is present.

(While not nearly so severe, I myself have to deal with frequent inquiries about who my son`s father is - he apparently looks nothing like his father to everyone in Japan - or where I adopted him from - as he apparently looks nothing like me to anyone in the US. He is our biological child. )

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LT, wow, maybe you should keep your feelings to yourself. JD pokes fun of people all the time in his blog posts. He should be able to handle some ribbing himself.

And if you don't want to read comments, then don't! I hardly think my comments would be cause for driving bloggers anyway. After all, I'm only commenting on the substance of people's comments, whereas JD had his hackles up from the get-go.

I'm hardly a right wing ninnie. In fact, my first response to this was only to say that my family is also weird if Angelina's is. Hardly flaming. JD upped the stakes by calling me out. And I responded.

Tamyu, my son hasn't been made fun of. I said "kids like my son." I was just pointing out that it'd be nice if calling a kid "adopted" wasn't ammunition.

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The moral of the story: Quit blogging about celebrities! Absolutely no good comes of it, and celebrity sites like GoFug, etc. do a much better job at it. I saw the Angelina thing on at least 4 other sites yesterday - why do the writers (primarily Kristin and J.D.) regurgitate the newsfeed?!

You are getting paid, right? EARN IT!

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And I thought the holiday season was supposed to be filled with joy and laughter. Apparently that's not the case among a large number of Blogging Baby commenters. It's getting pretty vicious out there. For the record JD, I feel I'd be remiss if I didn't let you know that I enjoy reading your posts. Keep up the good work!

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