Helping "divorced kids" get through the holidays

Filed under: Divorce & Custody, Activities: Babies, Development/Milestones: Babies, Sex

When I was growing up, I was the only one in my large group of friends who had divorced parents. I called myself a "divorced kid."

While most of my friends got to hang out with each other on weekends and holidays, I spent my time shuffling between parents that lived two hours away from each other.

Now, as an adult, I have in-laws, which means we now have three sets of parents to shuffle between on holidays. Yes, I'm 27 and still dealing with the repercussions of a divorce 17 years ago.

If you're a divorced parent, try to think of ways that you can help your child through the holiday season. Here are some tips about how to make the holiday season sane for both you and your kids.

First, be civil. Yes, you've gone through a divorce but your ex is still your child's parent. Don't argue over someone dropping the kids off 15 minutes late. These things happen and screaming at each other isn't exactly spreading the holiday spirit.

Also, if it is at all possible, think about doing something together during the holiday, even if it is just eating dinner together. My parents never did this and, honestly, I've never felt comfortable having my parents in the same room, which definitely comes in handy for grandchildren's birthday parties or weddings.

Even if having dinner with your ex is about as high on your "to do" list as having a colonoscopy, try and remember the kids. This season is hard enough, having to shuffle between parents and dealing with their feelings. Make it the best (and most civil) that you can.

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Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.