Angelina says adoptive parents more fit

by Roger Sinasohn (Subscribe to Roger Sinasohn's posts) Dec 20th 2006 8:58AM

Categories: Pregnancy & Birth, Adoption, Celeb Kids, Celeb Parenting

Man, I love Angelina Jolie. Aside from being totally hot, she's wicked smart and cares about others. So when she says something, I think it's worth listening to. According to her, adoptive parents are more fit to raise kids than biological parents. Since she's got three kids -- two adopted and one genetic -- I think she may very well know what she's talking about.

Before you get your knickers in a twist, she's not talking about you specifically, but about the two types of parents in general. And what makes her think this? "I go through many things to adopt. I'm finger-printed, I'm checked, I go through home studies. I have to prove I'm a decent citizen; a good human being." To have a biological kid, on the other hand, "there's no background check when you bring a child into your home in that way."

I think she's right. While there are an awful lot of really good biological parents out there, there are a lot of really bad ones too. Adoptive parents, on the other hand, really have to want to care for their child to go through all the hoops necessary to adopt. So what's Angelina's point? "It should be hard to be a parent period." I don't know that there's any practical way -- other than education, education, and more education -- to make sure that everyone who has a kid really ought to, but with someone of her status speaking up, maybe someone somewhere will stop and think before having a kid for the wrong reasons.

Source

Comments (15)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Ginny 12-20-2006 @ 9:22AM

"with someone of her status speaking up, maybe someone somewhere will stop and think before having a kid for the wrong reasons."

I doubt it. She has a point tho but I still think she's OUT THERE.

Dawn 12-20-2006 @ 9:56AM

Just reading the daily news every day, one finds a million reasons to NOT bring another child into the world. But yet, we all still do it. I also agree that it's way too easy for people to bring children into this world with no forethought about what kind of parent they can or will be. It's scary to think of all the BAD parents out there - but they've been there since time began. Her speaking out about it won't do anything to stop people from taking a hammer to their kids' head, flinging them in a bay, throwing them in garbage cans... but it's still good to see someone with the nerve to say something.

mckenna 12-20-2006 @ 10:45AM

Angelina Jolie bugs the heck out of me. But I'll agree with her on this point.

Julie 12-20-2006 @ 10:28AM

I totally agree about that so called background check. But I think the point is not in the adoption, but in your personal responsibility and wish to have a child.

daisy 12-20-2006 @ 11:56AM

Heh heh does that mean I'm a fitter mom than others?

Ethel 12-20-2006 @ 11:01AM

What Miss Jolie is talking about is called eugenics, and while she has a point, it is a slippery slope. Who are we to decide who and who can not have babies? It is really tricky when a mom who has had many kids and drank quite a bit each time still wants babies, do we have the right to sterilize her? Does she have the right to keep producing babies that are damaged and society has to take away from her and raise?

And since when does a blood swilling, bunny rabbit mating, adulterous women make a great mom just because she passed background checks?

thordora 12-20-2006 @ 11:15AM

gee Ethel, good to see you believe that people can grow up and change. She's trying to do some good in the world-that seems to drive people insane for some reason.

She isn't talking about sterilization-she's talking about the ease with which anyone can have a child, as opposed to adopting one. Which MANY of us have always found incredible. I can't imagine I'm the only one who's wonder if everyone and anyone SHOULD be allowed to have children.

NS 12-20-2006 @ 11:25AM

Ethel, you may want to slide down the slippery slope and assume that AJ was talking about eugenics, but I don't think that's where she was going with this. She's pretty much stating out loud what many people believe, that ANYone -- idiot or not -- with a working uterus can have a baby, for all the wrong reasons.

Should "we" stop the drug-addicted mother from having her 7th child to get more welfare aid? No one has that right. But maybe ways can be found to educate some people so they can do what's best for all involved, most importantly the child.

And I think unless you know her personally, you should take how the media paints her with a grain of salt. The people who are paid and who are required by law to judge her (for her children's sake) found her acceptable enough to be a mother. Who are YOU to say that she is not?

Christine 12-20-2006 @ 12:20PM

Bottom line... people lie.. there are good biological parents.. and good adoptive parents... and there are many many bad ones of both types... it is all in the eye of the beholder.

No set is better than another... people wanting to adopt simply need to answer the questions correctly. We could all do the same thing.

Ms. Jolie may care an awful lot but she is a homewrecker(of more than one home, hello Laura Dern) and while she parades the children that she adopted around to make whatever point she is trying to make... where is her biological one? With the nanny?

Ugh. She needs to stick to charity work.

Kate 12-20-2006 @ 2:47PM

OK - I'm totally going to avoid the "who should have kids" debate. What I will throw in is that I wish all the teenage girls that file through my office pregnant (or afraid they are) could hear what she's saying about the qualifications of adoptive parents. We need to really up the ante when it comes to educating people (namely, pregnant teenage girls) about adoption. All too often I hear, "I could never give up my baby. She could end up in a horrible home. That's abandoning my child . . . " blah, blah, blah. They have no clue what that option is about at all, and that keeping a child when you have no job, no education, and no support system is NOT a positive choice for your child.

Oh, bear in mind I am 100% pro-choice. As long as we acknowledge that there are more than 2 choices. That seems to be forgotten in this country, and Ms. Jolie is doing a service by speaking up for adoption.

Sharon 12-20-2006 @ 4:58PM

Okay, I know this is going to get me fried, but I've thought for years that there ought to be tests that need to be passed, and requirements that ought to be met, before someone (male or female) could have a child. Parents should have to be reasonably educated (not just book smarts, but in parenting classes), be capable of supporting their child, be free of drugs/alcohol, and pass some psychological testing to be sure they aren't abusive.

Has anyone read "Freakonomics"? There's a part where it shows that about 15 years after the legalization of abortion, the crime rate started to drop significantly. Their point is that many of the unwanted children who were aborted would've been entering their teens by then, and starting on their life of crime due to their likely abusive/poor backgrounds.

I know passing classes & testing wouldn't solve all of our issues, but it sure seems to me like it would be a good place to start. I know it would be hard to decide who would create & judge these tests, but we've got laws for everything else... you have to pass tests & be certified to cut hair or clean someone's teeth... how much more important is it to be a parent?

mckenna 12-20-2006 @ 6:18PM

Sharon:
I won't fry you, just maybe singe you a little.

The government hasn't passed a law (although I'm sure someone musta tried) regulating the decision of parenthood precisely because it's such an important (and personal) aspect of a person's life to be a parent. The ultimate law on the books (the US Constitution) protects our right to make intimate, private decisions such as this on our own.

I won't say I haven't muttered your exact same thoughts every time I read or hear about a case of child abuse. But there is a balancing of interests that has to happen when the government regulates. Fixing family issues needs to happen through different means. I don't want to live in a country where my personal freedoms would be so significantly threatened. A huge part of my life, liberty, and happiness has been fulfilled through giving birth to my son without the government giving me its 2 cents.

Besides, the fact that it's so involved in everything actually leads me to want to curtail its involvement (especially in personal issues), not expand its power.

Katheryn 12-20-2006 @ 9:31PM

Like another comment: There are good adoptive parents and bad ones, just like biological parents. My mom was adopted, and her adopted parents (my grandparents) were in no way shape or form 'good parents'.

Sharon 12-21-2006 @ 10:56AM

Mckenna - Thanks for being gentle! = ) I know its never going to happen anyway, so I'm not going to get worked up about it...

On a slightly different, but sort of related topic, fark.com has a funny (and scary) listing for "Parents of the Year", heavy on the sarcasm, for folks I don't think any of us would think should be parents!
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=2489657

Cara 1-17-2007 @ 4:45PM

Woah woah woah...

I read a statement that annoyed me. "There's a part where it shows that about 15 years after the legalization of abortion, the crime rate started to drop significantly." I don't know that stats on this, and maybe it's true. BUT, in the however many years since abortion, Child Abuse rates have INCREASED significantly. Why is that? Because when we see children as disposable BEFORE birth, our attitude quickly shifts to them being disposable AFTER birth.

Hmm... and they say they're reducing child abuse by getting rid of the unwanted children. *shakes head* I think it's sick. I mean, isn't the greatest form of child abuse KILLING the child.

In case you couldn't tell, I'm totally ProLife. Because the majority of ProChoicers don't give all the options. Google abortion images and you'll see what you're really supporting. Dare you to try, or are you too afraid to face the truth?

Cara

How To Submit Photos:
If you'd like your children (any age will do!) featured on ParentDish, upload photos into the ParentDish Flickr Pool. Be sure to read our main Flickr page for more information.