Have you ever wanted not to be a parent anymore?

Filed under: Just For Moms, Relatives, Places To Go, Health & Safety: Babies, Development/Milestones: Babies

unhappy womanYesterday morning I met a friend of mine for coffee and she said that she needed to get herself organized and figure out what she was going to do this year. I wrapped my fingers around my large mocha and said, "What do you want to do this year?"

Her lips quirked and she sighed. She said, "Want to know the first two things that went through my mind when you asked me that? I thought, 'I don't want to be a mother or a wife anymore.'"

I didn't know exactly what to say because that is not the place I'm in anymore. But I have been there. Oh, yes I have. When I was going through my divorce, I was visiting Chicago and I remember looking through the want ads, idly, at jobs and apartment rentals. I remember mentally calculating how much money I had in my bank account, and thinking that rather than facing an ugly divorce and single motherhood and incalculable pain, I could just...disappear.

My friend's situation is a little different. Her child has some special needs that make her life very difficult at times, and I think she just needs a break. But if it is hard for parents whose children do not have special needs to get a break, it is nearly impossible for those chose children do have them. This child does not qualify for care relief from our regional center. He is simply an exhausting person to be around-- and it would not be easy to feel at ease leaving him in someone else's care.

I have a very hard time understanding people who abandon their children. Maybe that's because I have looked that alternative in the face and walked away from it. But I have no problem understanding parents who walk right up to that line and look it long and hard in the eye.

What about you?

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AdviceMama Says:
Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.