A Mom's unconventional sex talk

by Kristin Darguzas (Subscribe to Kristin Darguzas's posts) Jan 18th 2007 7:00AM

Categories: Teens & tweens, Pregnancy & Birth, Media

This story made me more than a tad uncomfy, but I wanted to share to make you uncomfortable also. Actually no, not really, I just thought it brought up some interesting questions.

According to the China Daily, a woman's unconventional way of teaching her son about sex has caused controversy in her Province. During a routine gynecological exam, the mother had her son come into the exam room, showing him with her body how a woman becomes pregnant and delivers a baby.

Her son is 14 years old - and I'm not well-versed on Chinese cultural norms but I can't imagine this would be a casual, cool experience for him.

The Mom says she just wanted to educate her son correctly. I am not sure why she just wouldn't want to use a picture book if that were the case, but it is true that every child comes from a Mother, and that our bodies create life.

But it still makes me cringe to think of that boy having to watch as his Mother displayed the facts of life to him, live and in horrifyingly real colour. In fact, it makes me want to hyperventilate in a paper bag to think of myself in the same situation as a child, but perhaps I'm just repressed.

Do you think that this Mom was wrong to do what she did?

Source

Comments (12)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Anji 1-18-2007 @ 7:14AM

Of course she was wrong... there's teaching your kid the facts of life, and then there's forcing him to look at his own mother's genitalia. She is obviously a very misguided woman, and I hope the young man isn't too scarred!

Mayo 1-18-2007 @ 8:01AM

Can you imagina the next time her son is confronted witha vagina, he'll be thinking of his mothers? That is a terrible, almost abusive way to teach him about sex and reproduction. Did the doctor not say anything?

bluepaintred 1-18-2007 @ 8:05AM

it must be horribly abusivet to let your sons watch as you give birth, (according to the above logic) but having children in the birthing room has never become a "controversy"

Marla 1-18-2007 @ 8:24AM

How does something like this make it into a newspaper in the first place? Who makes the call? The gyno? The son? The MOM?

Mammacheryl 1-18-2007 @ 8:51AM

Eeeewww. I don't know. Maybe Chinese culture is different from our American norms. Maybe seeing your parents' private areas is a common experience or at least not rare. I'm all for education, though. And even though it's gross and weird to see your mommy's hoo-hoo, at least she didn't show him porn or some other lady's gentle bits. I guess I have mixed feelings on this. I doubt the Chinese education system teaches young men much about reproductive health and issues.

Rachel May 1-18-2007 @ 10:30AM

Mayo, maybe that was her evil plot all along... okay, just kidding. Sort of.

I can't say that this is a good idea in my book, but I also don't plan on having my son in the room when I give birth to our next child. I think it may be more controversial than you think, bluepaintred.

Ginny 1-18-2007 @ 1:23PM

EEEEEEWWWWWWWW Is right. I don't know if I would have my son watch me give birth, but I don't think that's too gross either. BUT, having him examine my crotch? Now, that's just downright wrong...or as I like to say, "That aint right". I wonder if he had the option to say, "No, thanks". And to think, I was uncomfortable last night when my 6 year old son realized that babies don't usually come from C-Sections and I had to have a little bit of a birds and bees talk with him.

Nikki 1-18-2007 @ 9:55AM

I wonder if the son didn't ask to be there. Because pictures and words can only take you so far with some people, they have to actually see the object to understand it. Not that I will let my son in on my gyno visits, but I don't see anything wrong with this if all involved were comfortable. And like bluepaintred said, no one says anything about children watching their mother give birth or those children helping their mother give birth. How is this any different? Personally, from all the gewy mess I remember from having my son, I would think it would be far less tramatic for a child to see the real thing on one of its better days. LOL

cheryl 1-18-2007 @ 3:23PM

Yes. She was wrong.

Bromac, formerly JesM 1-18-2007 @ 2:31PM

Yes, bluepaintred, it is controversial to some of us to have your children participate in, or watch, births.

I think could almost be called sexual abuse. Especially with a child of pubescent age. UGH. This makes my stomach lurch. Poor kid.

mamaloo, the doula 1-18-2007 @ 5:04PM

Well, I didn't intend for it to happen, but my 3 1/2yo son got to witness what a women getting a vaginal exam looks like when he decided he didn't want to continue playing with trucks near my head, while I got my recent prenatal physical, and instead wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

The look on his face was priceless: what the heck is THAT?! But, of course, seconds later it was practically forgotten.

When I was redressing, I asked him a few questions about what he saw, mainly to gauge if he had questions or if what he saw scared him. He ws pretty blase. When I explained that when I gave birth, the baby would come into the world from that place, he sounded pretty excited - in a "wow, that's realy neat" kinda way.

I'm planning a homebirth and I'd like him to be there if he wants to be. I witnessed my youngest sister's birth when I was 14 and my other sister was 12 - we felt it profoundly affected us, our desire not to get in the same position until we were damned ready and gave us an appreciation for the actual physiology of birthing. Hey, I'm a doula now - I guess it really did affect me positively!

My parenting philosophy includes letting children learn abot and be comfortable with all aspects of being human, which includes birth and death - things I don't lie about. So, again, if Kieran feels cool with what's happening in labour, he's going to be there to welcome his brother or sister.

Mayo 1-18-2007 @ 8:22PM

I would not allow my sons to be in the birthing room, because, despite other people's comfort levels, I do not believe it is my sons best interests to see their mother's vagina. And especially as a demo model during a gyno exam. I think it was a poor parenting decision and still wodner what wa sthe doctors repsonse to this request. "Sure, bring him in and let him poke around a bit? See the clitoris and labia?" What was she thinking?

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