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Wussy names are for losers

Categories: Newborns, Pregnancy & Birth

It's time to get serious, people. I've been there -- I remember the laughter, the tears, and the passive-aggressive arguments that go along with naming a child. It's easy to get lost in the struggle -- to "compromise" on some lame moniker that both of you can tolerate but neither really likes. Don't fall into this trap. You need to name with conviction. You need to do your research. You need to find a no-nonsense, kick ass name that will send your child straight to a career of private jets, power ties, and 6 (or 7) figure incomes.

Fortunately, the dudes at Noodad have done the research for you. By examining a list of the top Fortune 1000 CEO names, we can create a shortlist of possibilities that will send your future executive skyrocketing to the top. Names that'll make him a winner. (Note: I recognize that these are only boys names, and that you may very well want this kind of success for your little girl. When we find a list of women CEOs, we'll do an all-girl post.)

The number 1 most popular CEO name is Robert. Followed by John, James, William, David, Michael and Richard. Notice that there are no Willows, Sebastians or Hunters on that list, so take your hippie names down to the naturalist's convention. John doesn't want to hear about your feelings. Robert doesn't have time for a hug. Michael thinks it's funny that you don't own a yacht.

By the way, my daughter's name is Edan, so we won't be sitting in on board meetings anytime soon. In fact, save us a seat at that naturalist's convention -- I think we'll see you there.

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