California lawmaker wants to outlaw spanking

CPT Robert S Tolson,

I do not know why in "Spare the rod, spoil the child" people assume that the "rod" means hitting. Maybe, the "rod" means discipline, and there are other forms of discipline besides hitting. Hitting your child just installs fear and resentment. I was spanked as a child and I would never put those same feeling I had onto my child.

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As the author of "Rewards for Kids! Ready-to-Use Charts & Activities for Positive Parenting (American Psychological Association, 2003), I think this legislation has value in expressing a societal view that we should avoid intentionally and repeatedly hurting children in order to teach them a lesson. We know there are other, more respectful and positive ways of correcting misbehavior. That be said, the proposed punishment (up to one year in jail) is way too harsh, and in fact represents the same mentality as beating a child. Harsh punishments don't teach more appropriate behavior. Also, I think a good many parents, particularly those with children with more challenging temperaments, have occasionally slapped their child to prevent a dangerous activity (e.g. running into the road, touching a hot stove.) I would think that spanking would have to be clearly defined as an intentional act, and perhaps one used repeatedly, in order to make it "illegal." If the parenting class penalty offered good quality instruction, that would be a fair "consequence." (rewardsforkids.com)

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I'm a mom and I've never hit a child, not mine or anybody else's. It hurts and terrifies a child, weakening the parent/child bond. And it always risks physical injury. Communication, patience, and understanding your child are the best ways to get along. Hitting never improves a relationship. Bravo to Lieber for introducing this bill. I'm frankly astonished that some people are against it. Are they feeling guilty for hitting their own babies? Do they really think it's OK to hit a baby? Poor little ones, I wish I could protect them all. They sure need this law. And those who think God approves of hitting a baby must be deluded or worship a very weird God. Why would He want his precious babies hurt? Jesus preached non-violence, and loved the little children, saying they were close to God.

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Anon, you are ridiculous and out of control. A one-year old child does not understand her actions; she is not motivated to hurt you when she bites you. You sound like a parent who can't cope with effectively disciplining your child, so you blame her--a toddler--for hurting you. I'm an elementatry school teacher. Funny how all you jerks who spank would go ballastic if I spanked your child for misbehaving at school, but you can do it at home? Get a grip. Teachers effectively discipline children EVERY DAY without resorting to hitting. And yes, we often spend more time with your kids than you do. Be an adult and not a whiny wimp who makes excuses for being a lousy parent. Oh, and you hit the cat, too? LOSER.

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Assemblywoman Sally Lieber should not be discouraged by all the snide reactions, snickering and cheap shots her spanking ban proposal has provoked. Such noise is an inevitable part of the process that accompanies every true reform. She should be proud and confident. She knows she’s on the right track. And deep down, the spankers know it too. We all remember the grumbling and threats of rebellion when safe, law-abiding drivers were ordered to buckle up, and when honest, tax-paying homeowners were informed that they could no longer burn their own leaves in their own back yards. Good laws pave the way for good behaviors, and in the end we have to admit, sometimes government gets things right. Thoughtful, informed people know there is no practical, ethical or moral justification for discriminating against children by denying them equal protection under the law. Husbands and wives can’t settle their differences anymore by hitting each other, employers can’t hit employees, prison guards can’t hit convicts. There is only one hittable class left. But not for long, thanks to people like Ms. Lieber.

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OK, here's just a few problems I see with a law against spanking. First, what exactly is considered a spanking? A slap on the hand, a pop on the behind, a belt applied to the posterior 3 times? Second, how would the law against spanking be enforced? Anonymous hot-lines, neighborhood watches, security cameras in homes? Third, what kind of punishment would be called for when a parent broke the law against not spanking? A $500 fine, jail-time, losing custody of all your children? Fourth, just how much control over our personal lives is the public willing to give up? Where is the line be drawn? Personally, I think too many of our laws enter into areas where personal choice should rein supreme. I suspect the proposition of this new law is an effort to attract media attention and free publicity for whoever proposed it.

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