N.C. panel recommends legislation to foster communication between adopted kids and birthparents
Filed under: Adoption
Interesting story out of Raleigh, North Carolina where a state panel is recommending that laws be passed to set up extended rules for birthparents or other relatives to stay in touch with children after adoption.
A law already on the books law says that once an adoption has been completed, all relations between a child and biological relatives are cut. There are concerns that if a new law is passed to allow for communication between the parties from birth, older children who have already been brought up by a family may find it difficult to deal with if their biological family attemtps to form a relationship with them.
It's a sticky situation, but if a child is placed for adoption, the biological parent(s) must be made fully aware that there is no guarantee that there will be any future communication between them. Adoptive parents should not be put in the difficult position of balancing the needs of their child AND the biological parents at the same time. The child comes always comes first.











ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
1-21-2007 @ 5:37PM
daisy said..."There are concerns that if a new law is passed to allow for communication between the parties from birth, older children who have already been brought up by a family may find it difficult to deal with if their biological family attemtps to form a relationship with them."
I read this article differently. The current law states that a bio family has no legal relationship or rights when a child has been adopted. For an older child who was raised by that family (say, a grandparent or aunt and unclde), that's incredibly difficult. This law provides provisions for children to continue communication with their biological family. In my opinion, that's often best for the child. This proposed change seems like a good idea to me.
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1-22-2007 @ 12:17PM
Dylan Emrys, M.A. Pre- and Periatal Psychology said...I think it's a good idea too, for other reasons as well as the previous posts.
The most commonly asked questions of adoptees are "who do I look like?" and "why was I given up?"
While it doesn't address all of the issues adoptees often face, having contact with biological parents in some way, answers those questions. From what I've heard from adult adoptees, finding out those answers was a big deal.
I think it isn't meant as "adoptive parents need to balance the needs of their child as well as the needs of the biological parents." And I agree, "the child comes first." I think that's what this is attempting to do: put the child first, and knowing/having contact with biological parents is important for THE CHILD in most cases.
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1-26-2007 @ 2:23PM
willie branum said...I am an adoptive parent and a foster parent. i was also an adopted child. i knew my birth parents...sweet people...yet, I always felt pulled between the two sets of parents when we visited. i did not fit in with my biological parents. my life was very different. some of my foster children are better off not being dragged back and forth when parents have proven they are not going to change. my adoptive child went through many problems because of contact with her birth family. she is still under counseling for this reason. a set law should never be made...children are each individual and should not be lumped into one big category.
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2-14-2007 @ 7:10PM
ms.brooks said...boy this realy hit home.i went through the same situaton.i guess it depends on the situation,at the time of adopting the child.my situation was that the parents had there children in foster care for 7 years.the child is now 12.so where was the family that she/they thought were parents.when i got the child out of foster care,after being in for 7 years,and through 6 to 7 homes they wanted to come and interfer.she didnot even remember how they looked,but all of the things she ,and her siblings went though.it was not good at all.so again it depends on the situation.by the way she is a 3 point 33 in school,and in honor society classes.she has alot o be proud of,because she now knows that she is somebody,and feels good about herself.we have a documentry that airs every week also.she is a success,and a blessing. god bless
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