MSNBC takes on the boob
Categories: Just for dads, Pregnancy & birth, Eating & nutrition
MSNBC has an interesting and surprisingly neutral article about public breastfeeding. It covers a lot of recent incidents (that have also been covered here) without going over the top. There's also a sidebar that notes some of the legal protections given breastfeeding by various states with a link to more detailed information.
What I found most intriguing, however, was a related article titled "A guy's guide to breast-feeding: Don't be a boob." Before I continue let me offer a disclaimer -- I am a guy. Maybe not the world's most macho, gun-totin', football-watchin', beer-drinking he-man of a guy, but definitely a guy. And while those that know me well would admit that I am a dirty old man, they'll also, I hope, add that it's in the nicest and most respectful way.
So what about this guide for guys? I agree one shouldn't really be craning one's neck to get a better look. (Although, I did laugh my head off at a comment on another site: "As far as I'm concerned, the only thing wrong with breast-feeding in public is that the baby's head obstructs my view.") In fact, however, to most adult males, a breastfeeding woman simply isn't sexual. What I do disagree with, however, is that men have no business getting involved in the whole breastfeeding debate at all. My wife breastfed our kids -- note that I said "our" kids, not "her" kids -- and believe you me, there's no way I would have let some mall security guard tell her to go breastfeed in the bathroom. It does affect men and it is our business to make sure that their rights are protected.
In fact, I would argue that we have a very important role to play in breastfeeding by being as supportive of the process as possible. For a lot of new mothers, breastfeeding isn't easy. Getting a baby to latch on properly, becoming comfortable to the feeling of exposing oneself in public, dealing with the pain that often accompanies breastfeeding -- all these are issues where a supportive father can mean the difference between continuing and switching to formula.
What do you think -- are men part of the breastfeeding experience or should they just stay the hell away? Guys, were you involved or did you feel left out? Moms, did you feel support from your husbands/boyfriends or were you left on your own? Would having a more supportive partner made breastfeeding easier?
What I found most intriguing, however, was a related article titled "A guy's guide to breast-feeding: Don't be a boob." Before I continue let me offer a disclaimer -- I am a guy. Maybe not the world's most macho, gun-totin', football-watchin', beer-drinking he-man of a guy, but definitely a guy. And while those that know me well would admit that I am a dirty old man, they'll also, I hope, add that it's in the nicest and most respectful way.
So what about this guide for guys? I agree one shouldn't really be craning one's neck to get a better look. (Although, I did laugh my head off at a comment on another site: "As far as I'm concerned, the only thing wrong with breast-feeding in public is that the baby's head obstructs my view.") In fact, however, to most adult males, a breastfeeding woman simply isn't sexual. What I do disagree with, however, is that men have no business getting involved in the whole breastfeeding debate at all. My wife breastfed our kids -- note that I said "our" kids, not "her" kids -- and believe you me, there's no way I would have let some mall security guard tell her to go breastfeed in the bathroom. It does affect men and it is our business to make sure that their rights are protected.
In fact, I would argue that we have a very important role to play in breastfeeding by being as supportive of the process as possible. For a lot of new mothers, breastfeeding isn't easy. Getting a baby to latch on properly, becoming comfortable to the feeling of exposing oneself in public, dealing with the pain that often accompanies breastfeeding -- all these are issues where a supportive father can mean the difference between continuing and switching to formula.
What do you think -- are men part of the breastfeeding experience or should they just stay the hell away? Guys, were you involved or did you feel left out? Moms, did you feel support from your husbands/boyfriends or were you left on your own? Would having a more supportive partner made breastfeeding easier?
Recent Posts
- Teen Auctions Mom's Naked Photos (7/09/2009)
- Evian's Roller-Skating Babies Ad - Cute or Creepy? (7/09/2009)
- Have You Named a Guardian for Your Child? (7/09/2009)
- Get Me Outta Here (7/09/2009)
- White House Aides Missing out on Family Time (7/09/2009)
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Lea 1-31-2007 @ 11:32AM
Yes! The dad's support is so helpful. My husband was very much a part of the experience. He would bring our baby to me, snuggle up beside us if time allowed, and talk with me/us.
The best part was when he'd occasionally say something like, "Thank you for taking such good care of her and making her so healthy." (Formula feeders, please don't pounce on me. That was his opinion and our belief.) Not that his opinion was the reason I was doing it--the baby was--but having someone acknowledge the work and the selflessness required was so very nice.
In fact, it's bringing tears to my eyes now just typing that. :)
So even if the dad can't be around that much and truly be part of the process, the occasional compliment and thank-you from him is very encouraging and appreciated.
Reply
mckenna 1-31-2007 @ 11:46AM
Having a more supportive husband in the beginning would have made life much easier. My husband had a bit of his own transition to make, though. (I think he went through some postpartum). He was never even comfortable holding hands with me in the beginning of our relationship, so my breastfeeding in public made him very agitated (too personal to be done in public as far as he was concerned). We stayed home more than I would have liked in the beginning. He's since "seen the light", and now thinks others make too big a deal of it. I think seeing other women doing the same as me made him more comfortable with the idea that it's socially acceptable and no one would accost me.
I'm fairly headstrong and independent, so his actions didn't affect my decision to breastfeed for a full year, as I had planned. I think with our second, he's well transitioned to handle it better. I fully believe that guys should be fully involved with EVERY aspect of parenting. It's a double standard to expect someone to be a fully involved parent, but to 'sit down and shut up' in particular areas such as this. I completely agree that fathers have as much valid input as mothers regarding their children's nutrition. Of course, sensitivity is also necessary given what's required of the woman's body. But that shouldn't deny a father's input to the subject.
Reply
Lisa J 1-31-2007 @ 11:58AM
It can make a huge difference! I did a lot of milk expressing as I had a pretty brief maternity leave, so my husband very actively participated in feeding. Contrary to what some think, feeding a baby only breastmilk doesn't mean the dad has to be left out in the cold! Also, I had more freedom/mobility. It was the best of both worlds for me and the baby--and I couldn't have done it without my husband!
Reply
Molly 1-31-2007 @ 12:12PM
My daughter had colic pretty much from the get go, and my husband's first reaction was to blame it on breastfeeding. He urged me to switch to formula when she was three days old. Naturally, I balked at the suggestion and refused. He suggested that I was purposefully making our daughter miserable just to be stubborn by keeping on with breastfeeding.
I cut about everything from my diet until I found that she couldn't take it when I ate dairy. After that, things were fine.. no colic in any case. So we were both right in a way, but I would've liked a little more support.
Reply
mamaloo 1-31-2007 @ 1:16PM
In my job, I sometimes need to counsel dads who want their wives to FF so they can participate in feeding. I always tell them that their participatio in feeding may not be directly giving milk to their child, it will be making sure baby and mum are comfy, well nourished, hydrated, loved, protected, and then, after, burping the baby, comforting the baby, changing he baby, dressing the baby, bathing the baby, singing the baby, cuddling the baby, walking the baby, playing with the baby, and on and on.
Husbands who support their wives and work to protect their rights and choices are also strengthening their family bonds. And, husbands who see the wonderful effect of breastfeeding, the ease, the fantastic money savings, the health benefits to mum and baby and breastfeedings role in the normal postpartum recovery of mum, those are advocates to other men, helping to dispel myths and support other new fathers.
I am ever so lucky to have a husband who is supportive of the demands and benefits of breastfeeding and as a bonus, finds my fertility to be very alluring.
Reply
Trisha 1-31-2007 @ 1:43PM
Support is crucial. I wish I could get my husband to voice his comments here, but that's another story. He was supportive- in his own way, and the best he knew how- from the beginning with breastfeeding. He was also supportive in givig the baby a bottle I had pumped so I could get out of the house. Funny though, he was SOOOO private about it. He still kind of is and he had some opinions about how long a baby should be breastfed. I let him know we would cross that bridge when we got there and we have. He orginally thought that b-feeding for a "WHOLE year" was somehow obsecene, or just that the baby is so old. Well she's not so old now that we are here a whole year later. His views have grown up right along with Naomi our daughter. He was supportive in the ways he knew how and we just guided him in the direction we needed through this past year. Now he can hardly believe that he even had such a negative opinion about b-feeding for longer than a year. He now says "I think it's just great, as long as feels right to you." I just smile and say "of course."
Reply
Heather 1-31-2007 @ 2:07PM
I was lucky to have 100% support from my husband and it made a huge difference during the first couple of difficult feedings. He actually called for assistance when I hit rock bottom.
The key to his comfort level was education. He knew less than nothing about babies (neither did I to be honest) before we were pregnant.
He attended breast feeding class with me and the rest is history. I won't repeat some of the questions he asked in the class as they would cause an uproar from the other side of the fence but it is safe to say he became firmly entrenched in the BF camp.
I think be informed made him more comfortable about the process, which led to him being an active participant.
Reply
Amy 1-31-2007 @ 3:12PM
I think it is wonderful to breastfeed, in public, too. But it makes me VERY uncomfortable when I see a breast. What would be wrong with covering up with a blanket? My children are gawking at the breast, and so, it seems, are alot of other people. Doesn't it make the breastfeeder uncomfortable to have people looking at her like that?
Reply
ikate 1-31-2007 @ 3:30PM
My husband has been great from the start, we are now entering month 5 of BF our daughter. He knew it was important to me, so he read up on it and it became important to him. The biggest thing for me is that he keeps me hydrated - he is forever filling up my water glass, which is so fantastic as I am always parched.
In the beginning, he helped me get situated when BF in public, but now I'm more nible and comforatble that I don't need so much help.
Finally, he is understanding of the benifits of BF and has found other ways (then feeding) to bond with our daughter, mostly through bathing her - it's a great "dad and daughter only" time each day.
Amy - do you or your kids gawk at bottles? It's the same thing! Maybe teach your kids that breastfeeding is what the breasts are for!
Reply
Jill 1-31-2007 @ 4:02PM
I think my husband's stability (and lack of raging hormones) helped me a lot. My second baby and I both had huge breastfeeding problems and we sank further and further. Our lactation specialist said that occupational therapy wasn't helping and she thought we should go to formula with special bottles, but I refused. It became clear that I was having PPD in addition to the BF issues and our baby's oral issues. Finally my husband asked if I was "boiling a frog". (A frog will stay in water if gets very slowly hotter until it eventually dies.) I was. He let me cry and helped me come to a feeding solution that worked best for us all. I couldn't have dealt with all of it without his support.
Reply
IvyMae 1-31-2007 @ 5:07PM
I, too, was very lucky to have the support and patience of my husband. A very good friend of mine was having problems BFing, and finally gave in to her husbands (well-meaning) offer to "just give the baby a little formula". Of course, within 2 months, due to lack of demand, the supply was gone. By introducing formula, the father had undercut the mother's confidence, and eventually it was just easier to give in than fight. It's a slippery slope, and I am so lucky Tom knew how important it was to me that he not pressure me (no matter how frazzled I got) into FFing. 14 months on, we are going strong!
Reply