I personally think My Space is dumb, but, I guess I see the attraction, whatever. I don't believe in hovering over your children and not allowing them to be individuals, so, here's my advice to parents (and I don't know why some people just don't get this!?)PEOPLE, BE INVOLVED IN YOUR KIDS LIVES! INVOLVED DOES NOT HAVE TO MEAN OVERBEARING, OVERPROTECTIVE AND STUFF. Let your kids know that you are paying attention to them, talk to them, let them know that they can talk to you, sometimes you have to be able to hang up your parent hat and just be a buddy, talk talk talk talk talk. My mom was capable of being a cool mom once in a while and I love that about her, we are now best friends. Moms and Dads, teach your kids how to dress appropriately, you CAN be stylish and down right hot, without looking slutty! Talk to your sons and daughters about promiscuity and why it is unacceptable and dangerous! If your kids have access to the internet, fine, check in once in a while, block websites, google their names and their friends names once in a while to find out if they are involved in websites like my space and anything else. you don't have to be an obnoxious parent in order to keep your kids out of trouble. and, in my opinion, if you have a good relationship with your kids and they know you're watching out for them (not hovering over them) then they will be less likely to get into trouble, kids will not want to 'let their parents down'.
LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR KIDS AND THEN LOVE THEM SOME MORE
okay, rant over.

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"But do you really need to show all your bits and pieces in the process? Leave a little something to the imagination, girls."

Because women's bodies are disgusting and ought to be covered up! *eyeroll* In general, I think if a woman wants to show all her 'bits and pieces' then that's up to her. I would perhaps worry about the age of these girls, and as a parent I think I might sit down and have a chat with them about the sort of people who are looking at those pictures.

"Besides, as I've said before, you never know who is reading your My Space profile. Do you really want a potential employer to see that you own a pink thong?"

Is it really any of a potential employer's business if I do or do not own a pink thong? If an employer is going to think less of me because of my choice of underwear, or anything else other than my ability to do the job in question, they're not an employer I want to work for. And not the sort of employer I'd want my kids to want to work for either.

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Oh, man. I just mentally resolved, once again, to enjoy the eleven years before Baby A hits her teen years. No, I could *not* ignore the situation if my daughter were flaunting herself sexually on the web. No, no, no. She'd lose her computer so fast.

I'm not conservative...far from it. But I am determined to teach my daughter (and son/s, if we have them) about boundaries, self-respect, and safety. My goal wouldn't be simply to keep her safe. She needs to learn how to conduct herself properly in the world--to deal with college professors, bosses, co-workers, boyfriends--in a mature, self-confident way.

I know that will be much easier said than done...!

- L

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This poses another side to the story - why do we think that a girl overexposing herself and then making her self more seductive is on her if a man or boy takes that as a come on? I personally do not understand the appeal of teenage flesh considering they don't have the sexuality that adult woman have - but I am not male or homosexual. And how much cover up is enough? Are knees overly sexual? How about the ankles? Maybe the peek of ones slip?

I hem and haw on this topic. I do think that being overately sexual is a warning sign of past sexual abuse, and potentially future sexual abuse in young women. As a parent I would find it alarming and ask my daughter why she was dressing in that manner and what she hoped to gain. On the other hand I think men have control over their own bodies and its a cop out to blame a young girl for the actions of a predator. Maybe we should be outraged at men who are getting boners and willingly expressing that when they are lewdly gazing at our daughters? (Keep it to yourself pervert, literally and figuratively.)

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I think it is low self esteem that makes young girls dress skimpy. They really need to know SOMEONE finds them beautiful, even if it is dirty old men. I hope never to have to deal with this in my daughter. I also blame Hollywood, for making it OK to show your private parts all the time, and making people famous who make sex tapes(think Paris Hilton).

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Ethel, not being rude but no one wears slips anymore :)

Seriously, though. Anji, are you a stripper? Come on!!! Do you HONESTLY think a teenage girl should be allowed to show her "bits and pieces" "if she wants to". That preposterous in my opinion.

Teenage girls show their bodies for one reason: to get attention from men/young men. Teenage girls do not understand that this attention, in the end, is not the type of attention they will be longing for.

My parents alwas taught me how to dress appropriately. My mother stressed smooth lines, well fitting clothes, matching, and accentuating my good "parts". I always felt sorry for girls whose parents did not teach them how to dress their body.

And when I went through a short phase of trying to dress hyper-sexually, my father put his foot down.

I will take this exact approach with my daughter. There are way too many instances of pedophilia in our nation and my daughter will not be the object of that type of affection.

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Ethel

Homosexual does not equal pedophile.

So far, I've been able to enforce my own dress codes which fall somewhere in the middle. Fortunately the school has their own ideas of reasonable attire which helps.

I dread the teen years though. I remember wearing one thing to school and then changing as soon as I got there. Mild by today's standards but still not something my parents would like to see.

The youngest is already managing to turn the clothes I buy her into something quite different just by a tuck here and there. Halter tops out of blouses and skirts pulled as high as they'll go.

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Because women's bodies are disgusting and ought to be covered up! *eyeroll*

No, because CHILDREN's bodies are private and ought to be covered up.

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Well... I actually think that kids wear these clothes because they are cool... not because they are lacking in the attention department. Bikiniwise -- well I just dont think that they see it as we do. Why are we making a bikini taboo? A bikini is taboo because the predator may be looking? Isnt that putting the blame on the wrong person. There really isnt an issue with bikini wearing... Now the thong on my teen's public site... that would cause major restrictions. A bikini in a sexual pose would cause alarm and restrictions.. but just the mere fact of bikini wearing and photographic evidence of such... not an issue. If predators are the real issue -- myspace does have a friends only privacy setting!

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who in their right mind is giving "positive" comments about a scantilly clad teenage girl? Certainly not any mature, caring adult in her life. Maybe her friends (translation OTHER teannagers)? What sense do they have? Maybe sexual diviants(who thinks she looks good because they to %$#@ her)? That's just great! What happens when this teenage girl receives NEGATIVE comments about her photos posted on-line? Will it cause an eating disorder, maybe suicide? Maybe I'm old fashioned (I am almost 30!) but I won't even let my 1-year-old wear a two-piece bathing suit. Girls should be taught to feel beautiful about themselves no matter what they're wearing.

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I agree with the statement in a recent post: kids should be taught to feel beautiful no matter what they are wearing.

There is nothing wrong with having a beautiful body, but I have a big problem with kids advertising its sexual aspects for various reasons.

First, whether they intend it or not, it gives others all kinds of ideas that are not beneficial to the kids. It makes their opposite-sex peers think thay would be willing to go much further than they should. It makes adults think their minds are in the gutter and that they are trying to cross sexual lines. These impressions change the way the girl is treated and potentially puts them in danger. It's not entirely their fault - they are usually too naive to realize how others' minds work in this respect - but that's why parents need to put their foot down.

Second, it is my opinion that a girl needs to be more concerned about how her mind and soul measure up than how her body measures up. If the MySpace pages were giving equal time to academic accomplishments, great family relationships, community involvement, spiritual growth, etc., I wouldn't have a problem with them also celebrating healthy bodies. But somehow I don't think that balance is where it should be.

Third, this body display is partly (perhaps mainly) a competition, and negative body image is a lot more prevalent than positive image. Girls should be more concerned about their body's overall health than whether it looks great in an itsy bitsy bikini or a super-short skirt. Undue attention to body image in teens leads to low self-esteem and eating disorders.

Fourth, regardless of whose fault it is, it is a fact that there are lots of people out there (sorry, but I have to say it's mostly males) who get turned on by young female flesh. Even in the most traditional societies, girls have to cover up more than boys from a pretty early age. This is necessary to protect our girls. Although it would be great if other means of protecting them were sufficient to let them run naked, we are not there yet. It is not difficult or painful for a girl to cover her flesh. Luckily, girls in the US can safely bare a lot of it, because everyone is so used to seeing it, even the pervs are partly desensitized. But we have to draw a line, because once a young girl is molested, the effects can never be fully erased.

I think we should teach our daughters that the body is a beautiful thing but it is not meant to be on display to outsiders. It is OK to let them know that a girl who shows too much will lose respect from people whose opinion she cares about. It is also OK to tell them that there are pervs out there and that it is safer to cover up. Finally, the parent should be in charge of the teen's clothing purchases and should approve what she's wearing every time she walks out the door. This should not be difficult since presumably Mom has been approving their wardrobe choices since they were born. Moms' fashion advice is indespensible for lots of reasons other than avoiding suggestive dressing.

Perhaps most important, parents need to encourage their daughters to learn to more highly value their more substantive qualities such as good health, strength, kindness, intelligence, talent, responsibility, genuineness, and so on.

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Um, some people obviously didn't actually *read* my comment:

"I would perhaps worry about the age of these girls, and as a parent I think I might sit down and have a chat with them about the sort of people who are looking at those pictures."

The point I was making was that while yes, children exposing themselves is wrong, the nature of the article made it seem as if the writer thought women in general ought to cover themselves.

Also, asking if I am a stripper is just downright rude. I am actually a stay-at-home-mum for the record, but a) it's nobody else's business what I do or do not choose to do for a living and b) stippers are not inherently immoral. Being a stripper would not immediately mean the belief that children should go around with their tits hanging out.

I think checking your own prejudices would be a good start before you begin judging others.

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