Jaimie Etkin: The Devil Wore Manolos
The Today Show versus Melissa Summers
Filed under: Just For Moms, Health & Safety: Babies, Playground Bureau, Alcohol & Drugs, Media, Gadgets, That's Entertainment
As you probably know, Melissa Summers appeared on the Today show the other day to talk about mothers who do not see motherhood as requiring complete abstinence. Unfortunately, the show was not so much a discussion as it was a trial. It seemed quite clear that the host and the very polished doctor were there to make Melissa out to be some kind of drunkard who wobbled about falling down on the playground while her kids grew up neglected and dysfunctional.
Of course, it's not like that. Yes, there are some women who have such a problem, but the occasional drink does not a problem make. Have I had a glass of wine or beer in front of my kids? Certainly. Heck, every year, we spend a week in Calistoga with all of Rachel's siblings and stepsiblings and their kids and her folks, and believe you me, the alcohol flows freely there. In fact, one couple has a cooler with two compartments and the kids know that one side is for them and the other is for grown-ups.
Now, I don't know Melissa personally, but I'd be willing to bet that she doesn't get drunk when her kids are around, if at all. If one were to go on what the Today show implied, not only is she continually wasted, she probably does crystal meth as well. The doctor kept going on about healthy choices, but last I heard, wine was a healthy choice. Again, there is a huge difference between getting sloshed and having a drink or two.
The problem here, I think, is that this sort of program simply does not have time to deal with complex issues. Everything has to be black and white, good and evil, right and wrong, so they can say "that's good, that's bad, boom, boom, commercial break." There's no room in four minutes and change for anything in between. Either you're a teetotaler or you're a lush, and of course a good lush sells more advertising than a dozen teetotalers any day.
There is a term for this, of course, going back more than a hundred years. It's called yellow journalism.
Of course, it's not like that. Yes, there are some women who have such a problem, but the occasional drink does not a problem make. Have I had a glass of wine or beer in front of my kids? Certainly. Heck, every year, we spend a week in Calistoga with all of Rachel's siblings and stepsiblings and their kids and her folks, and believe you me, the alcohol flows freely there. In fact, one couple has a cooler with two compartments and the kids know that one side is for them and the other is for grown-ups.
Now, I don't know Melissa personally, but I'd be willing to bet that she doesn't get drunk when her kids are around, if at all. If one were to go on what the Today show implied, not only is she continually wasted, she probably does crystal meth as well. The doctor kept going on about healthy choices, but last I heard, wine was a healthy choice. Again, there is a huge difference between getting sloshed and having a drink or two.
The problem here, I think, is that this sort of program simply does not have time to deal with complex issues. Everything has to be black and white, good and evil, right and wrong, so they can say "that's good, that's bad, boom, boom, commercial break." There's no room in four minutes and change for anything in between. Either you're a teetotaler or you're a lush, and of course a good lush sells more advertising than a dozen teetotalers any day.
There is a term for this, of course, going back more than a hundred years. It's called yellow journalism.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
1-31-2007 @ 2:09PM
Ann Adams said...It was an ambush and I thought Melissa handled herself very well.
Reply
1-31-2007 @ 2:21PM
mamaloo said...I agree, Roger, Ann. While Melissa had a number of good points to make (social drinking is one of many ways she unwinds and/or socializes, one drink does not a drunk make, she's still a person who enjoys a drink once in a while...) Meredith Viera equated mothers with babysitters and the esteemed psychiatrist said, "healthy ways to socialize" so many times, I was afraid her robot programming had gotten stuck in a loop. The lack of mention of fathers in this segment seems to point out that this isn't about parents dinking in front of their children, it's only about how mothers are irresponsible if they consume alcohol in front of their children.
(BTW, it just occured to me, how do your children know WHAT you are consuming? I drink my daqueris out of the same glasses I drink smoothies out of and I drink juice out of wine glasses sometimes. So, again, I'm thinking this is another chance for MEDIA to tell women they suck. I'm going back to my blog...)
As Stephanie Wilder - Never get her third name right - said in the pre-taped segment, this as an issue is just another way mothers/women are being encouraged to point fingers at each other.
The entire controversy dredged up far deeper feminist concerns for me, which I blogged about on Monday morning: http://momcast.blogspot.com/2007/01/on-friday-morning-melissa-summers-of.html
Reply
1-31-2007 @ 3:10PM
CG said...Shame on NBC.
Reply
1-31-2007 @ 3:17PM
mamaloo said...Becasue, when I sink my teeth in, I can't seem to let go: http://momcast.blogspot.com/2007/01/more-on-media-created-momtini.html
I wrote about my "revelation", in case anyone is interested.
Reply
1-31-2007 @ 3:43PM
SKL said...I personally don't drink, but I think it is good for a parent to expose kids to responsible drinking. Responsible drinking is a learned behavior - better learned by observation than by trial and error.
All the kids in my extended family attend parties where the adults drink. Everyone pays attention to how much they have had and stops early if they are going to be driving. People who are pregnant or on medication say "thanks but no thanks" and still have a great time. Thus the kids see what responsible drinking is. Although most people only get "happy," there have been a couple of opportunities to observe mild "stupid drunk" behavior - a healthy deterrent for kids, in my opinion. When it comes time for them to decide whether to drink or not, at least they know how one is supposed to behave while drinking, and why they should be moderate.
And yes, a bit of wine is a healthy food for those who are not alcoholics.
Reply
1-31-2007 @ 4:32PM
Sandyone said...It's a good lesson for all of us. Anytime we see one of these programs, we should turn up our discernment factor (b.s. detector). People in the media are accustomed to interviewing people and the editor uses what suits the program's purpose, no matter how much it distorts the truth.
Whenever there is a program on about something I'm not too familiar with, I try to see what they're not allowing the guest to say. When I *do* know a little something about the topic, it becomes incredibly obvious that the interviewer is manipulating things. Dr. Phil did a total hatchet job on homeschooling. You guys should read a blog post about a woman who was on his show. I'll see if I can find it by googling "dr. phil homeschooling unschooling breastfeeding". It is truly amazing what these people can do. As you've seen, it's not just the sensationalist tv people. It's the average news guy, too.
Just gotta put on your thinking cap!
Reply
1-31-2007 @ 5:29PM
LS said...Whaaaat???? The media skewed a story to make one side look better than the other??? Nooooo!!!! That NEVER happens. EVER!!
Reply
1-31-2007 @ 10:28PM
LB said...When I heard about this I was hoping we had reached the bottom of the barrel with issues to beat up moms over and with issues to add to the Mommy Wars. Sadly, I know they will come up with something else. It's so gross.
There is nothing wrong with an adult consuming a drink (or two) in the presence of her children. There is something very wrong with shrinks and pundits telling mothers what to do. Are we raising humans? or automatons?
That shrink was so full of it with her "model healthy ways" crap. I wonder if she is passing on her passive-agressive judgement with a smile act to her kids? Is that healthy?
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