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The child-free weekends of divorced life
Filed under: Divorce & Custody, Feeding & Sleeping
Recently I was sitting around chatting with a few other mothers while our older sons played. One of the moms looked at me and said with complete honesty, "Man, you're so lucky to be divorced! What do you do with all that free time you get to yourself when the kids are with their dad?" She then went on to tell me about her various divorced friends and all of the wonderful things they do on their weekends off duty.
Hmmm. I had to pause for a moment while I chewed on the thought before I replied, "Well, I guess that could be a description for my single state. But truth be told, by the time my weekend comes I am pretty beat. I usually spend most of it just trying to catch my breath before they come home again."
I guess I probably could do some fairly fabulous things with my 48 hours of child-free time. And maybe someday when I get more into the groove of being single, I will venture out of the house more. But for right now, I enjoy my Saturday nap and my extra time to sleep in on Sunday before I begin laundry, grocery shopping and the week ly planning. It's not the glamorous existence my friend seems to think it is, but that nap is pretty golden.
Hmmm. I had to pause for a moment while I chewed on the thought before I replied, "Well, I guess that could be a description for my single state. But truth be told, by the time my weekend comes I am pretty beat. I usually spend most of it just trying to catch my breath before they come home again."
I guess I probably could do some fairly fabulous things with my 48 hours of child-free time. And maybe someday when I get more into the groove of being single, I will venture out of the house more. But for right now, I enjoy my Saturday nap and my extra time to sleep in on Sunday before I begin laundry, grocery shopping and the week ly planning. It's not the glamorous existence my friend seems to think it is, but that nap is pretty golden.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
2-05-2007 @ 4:35PM
Uncle Roger said..."Man, you're so lucky to be divorced!" So, um, how come she isn't? You'd think she would have dumped that guy long ago so she could stick him with the kids on a regular basis and toodle off to the french riviera or something. In fact, I'd think she'd fight for him to have full custody. 8^)
On a more realistic note, I try to take the kids as much as I can on the weekends so that my wife can have some downtime. The problem is she usually wants to be with the kids and even if I convince her to let me take them, she just works instead of resting.
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2-05-2007 @ 5:28PM
Anji said...Yeah, I'm in your position - not divorced mind, because we were never married. But Orion's daddy left when he was about eight months old, and takes him every weekend and a couple of evenings a week as well. I have to say - I *really* appreciate the time off! It gives me a chance to recharge my batteries before starting another exhausting week! I'm not so sure about 'lucky' though. Single parenting is bloody tough!
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2-05-2007 @ 7:06PM
Lauren said...Lucky?? I think it would be absolutely awful not to be able to see your children any time you want. Sending your child off to a different world for the weekend would be very tough and hard to live with.
I think that was a very insensitive comment from your friend to you, and she probably did not think about how painful it would be to have to part from your child because you have to, not because you are choosing to. Friends should be supporting each other more during this time, not coveting it.
Just my two cents.
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2-05-2007 @ 7:27PM
Sandyone said...Was it really insensitive? 'Cause I really envy my sister's weekends while her daughter is at her dad's. There *is* something to envy, but I sure as hell would prefer to just envy it than to adopt it as a lifestyle.
I do enough "single parenting" while married. I can't imagine having to bring home the bacon, too!
The grass is always greener when you don't look too closely and see all the weeds!
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2-05-2007 @ 7:30PM
Sandyone said...ps...Heather, how did the testing go? Did Loren have a reasonable time with it? Did he think he had prepped enough? Too much? Did he wonder what the other kids were so uptight about?
I love to hear how alternatively educated kids do when they dive into (or slide into) the typical world. Mine will be following in the next few years.
Thanks!
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2-06-2007 @ 8:50AM
maria said...Okay - I can admit that I might envy the occassional child free weekend and the thought of a nap or the house to myself - just to get it picked up - is very appealling. But I can't imagine saying "you're so lucky to be divorced" But - I do know I've said some dumb things in my time that were not intentionally malicious - so let's cut the friend some slack and admit that we'd all like a bit more peace and quiet and a chance to miss our little heathens;)
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2-06-2007 @ 12:13PM
Jessica said...A nap on a Saturday sounds like a magical fairytale to me.............but I love my husband and I appreciate my nuclear family. Not insensitive, just not well thought-out. Some people do not often think before they speak.
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