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What is your take on "that's so gay?"
Filed under: Teens, Development/Milestones: Babies, Day Care & Education
How many times have you looked back on your teenage years and cringed? I know I have about a thousand times. So, when I saw this article about a girl's parents suing a school over what the article referred to as a "playground insult," I had to cringe.
A little background: A classmate asked a Mormon girl if she had 10 moms and the girl, who was a freshman, retorted "that's so gay." (From what I understand after watching The View on TV this morning, it seems as if her classmates turned her into the office.)
The school gave her a warning and put a note in her file, saying it crossed over into anti-gay harassment. Her parents, in turn, sued the school, saying it violated her First Amendment rights.
The school said they had to protect their gay and lesbian students from harassment. The teen said she was not using it in that way, but as a term for silly or stupid.
When I was a teenager, I used that exact phrase. "This is gay" or "that is gay" were probably uttered more than I would care to remember. Honestly, I never even considered the connotations behind the word. Then, one day, I thought about what I was saying. I was referring to something that I considered "stupid" as "gay," which seemed like I was equating being gay with stupid, even though I didn't feel that way.
For me, I chose the wrong word as slang. Once I thought about it and realized that using the word wasn't the best choice (would I ever say "that is so Asian?") I stopped using it. I was using a phrase I had heard a million times without even thinking about the meaning behind it.
And now, all those years later, I cringe at what I said.
What is your take on the story? In case you're interested, the school said they had problems with gay harassment in the past, that's why they had to take a firm stance. Does your child use this word? How do you feel about it?
Thanks to LS for the tip!
A little background: A classmate asked a Mormon girl if she had 10 moms and the girl, who was a freshman, retorted "that's so gay." (From what I understand after watching The View on TV this morning, it seems as if her classmates turned her into the office.)
The school gave her a warning and put a note in her file, saying it crossed over into anti-gay harassment. Her parents, in turn, sued the school, saying it violated her First Amendment rights.
The school said they had to protect their gay and lesbian students from harassment. The teen said she was not using it in that way, but as a term for silly or stupid.
When I was a teenager, I used that exact phrase. "This is gay" or "that is gay" were probably uttered more than I would care to remember. Honestly, I never even considered the connotations behind the word. Then, one day, I thought about what I was saying. I was referring to something that I considered "stupid" as "gay," which seemed like I was equating being gay with stupid, even though I didn't feel that way.
For me, I chose the wrong word as slang. Once I thought about it and realized that using the word wasn't the best choice (would I ever say "that is so Asian?") I stopped using it. I was using a phrase I had heard a million times without even thinking about the meaning behind it.
And now, all those years later, I cringe at what I said.
What is your take on the story? In case you're interested, the school said they had problems with gay harassment in the past, that's why they had to take a firm stance. Does your child use this word? How do you feel about it?
Thanks to LS for the tip!
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ReaderComments (Page 2 of 2)
3-05-2007 @ 9:39PM
SKL said...Uly, what makes you so sure I am Christian?
I am just sick of the unfair expectation that all minorities deserve respect and reverence, but the majority should just put up with every sort of disrespect. You either believe in respecting your fellow man or you don't. It has nothing to do with Christianity. One needn't be a Christian to believe in mutual respect.
As for "that's so gay," I'm just saying that the kid might not have meant it as any more of an "insult" than "that's so silly" or any other mild epithet. It's totally unfair that just because the word "gay" was involved, such a big deal was made of it. Kids say so many deliberately ugly things to each other that never get punished. If the same rule doesn't apply to all, only to words like "gay," that's giving some people more rights than others. Not fair. Better to teach all children to speak in a civil manner to each other at all times.
Pretty much everyone in this discussion who has ever used the epithet themselves admits they have used it in a non-malicious manner, so why is it unbelievable that this girl did as well? A talking to should be enough to let her know some people would be offended and that there will be consequences if she uses that particular combination of words again.
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3-13-2007 @ 5:57PM
JC said...As a gay man who is also a Mormon, I believe the school over reacted to the girls comment. I work with teenagers and hear the term "that's so gay" a lot. But, it doesn't bother me - and I am gay. As has been pointed out in other comments, the definition of the word 'gay' has changed over time. It wasn't that long ago that being gay meant being cheerful and happy, a faggot was a bundle of sticks, being queer meant you were odd or unusual, a fairy was a children's storybook character. Word definitions change over time. When we hear the phrase "that's go gay", we need to consider the context in which it was used. In this particular case, being accused of living in a polygamous household was stupid.
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