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Confessions of a soccer parent
Filed under: Big Kids
Ellie is about to begin her second season playing soccer. Before she will be allowed on the field, I am required to attend an orientation class for parents. I did this last year, so I know the drill. We will all watch a video illustrating what not to do on the sidelines.
The director of the program wants to make sure we don't take the game too seriously and spoil the fun for our kids. Parent tirades are not acceptable and we shall maintain our cool at all times. Got it. We will not try to encourage our children to "run!" or "get it!", as this will diminish their enjoyment of the game. I didn't realize this was a bad thing, but okay, I won't do it. She is only six and besides, I am not that kind of parent.
Last year, I attended the orientation meeting with a friend, and together we chuckled through the presentation. What kind of crazy sports fans do they think we are? We just want to see our cute little girls in their adorable soccer uniforms running around kicking the ball and having fun. We don't care if they are any good at it.
Or so we thought. Something strange happened when the games actually began. At one point, there was an opening for Ellie to get the ball and I heard someone yelling "get it, get it!". I looked around to see who was diminishing my kid's enjoyment and to my utter horror, I realized it was ME. Without even being aware I was doing it, I was pressuring her to do better. And I wasn't the only one. My husband's mouth was wide open as were the mouths of all the parents around me. As soon as that ball started rolling we all lost our minds.
After the game, I asked Ellie if she heard us and if it bothered her. Yes on both accounts. I vowed to do better, but it was difficult. I kept getting caught up in the excitement of the game. I just couldn't help myself.
This year will be different. I will tape my mouth if necessary. I really do just want her to have fun and I don't want to be the reason she gives up on the game.
The director of the program wants to make sure we don't take the game too seriously and spoil the fun for our kids. Parent tirades are not acceptable and we shall maintain our cool at all times. Got it. We will not try to encourage our children to "run!" or "get it!", as this will diminish their enjoyment of the game. I didn't realize this was a bad thing, but okay, I won't do it. She is only six and besides, I am not that kind of parent.
Last year, I attended the orientation meeting with a friend, and together we chuckled through the presentation. What kind of crazy sports fans do they think we are? We just want to see our cute little girls in their adorable soccer uniforms running around kicking the ball and having fun. We don't care if they are any good at it.
Or so we thought. Something strange happened when the games actually began. At one point, there was an opening for Ellie to get the ball and I heard someone yelling "get it, get it!". I looked around to see who was diminishing my kid's enjoyment and to my utter horror, I realized it was ME. Without even being aware I was doing it, I was pressuring her to do better. And I wasn't the only one. My husband's mouth was wide open as were the mouths of all the parents around me. As soon as that ball started rolling we all lost our minds.
After the game, I asked Ellie if she heard us and if it bothered her. Yes on both accounts. I vowed to do better, but it was difficult. I kept getting caught up in the excitement of the game. I just couldn't help myself.
This year will be different. I will tape my mouth if necessary. I really do just want her to have fun and I don't want to be the reason she gives up on the game.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
3-02-2007 @ 8:18PM
michelle said...Funny . . . having never liked or played soccer myself, I swore I would never be a soccer mom. Then, it turns out my daughter is a natural and LOVES it. I found myself yelling from the sidelines also. One game, a girl on the opposing team hit and pushed my daughter down (these were 6 and unders!) The third time it happened, I couldn't control myself. I marched over to the opposing teams coach and said "hey, your team is hitting and pushing." He "didn't see it" of course, but my husband and I joked later that we could almost understand how the dads could come to blows over something like that.
Reply
3-03-2007 @ 8:06AM
Karen said...Or maybe we have just gone too far.
What is wrong with encouraging our children to excell, to do better and to give it their best shot? I mean how fun is it if you aren't actually doing your best.
Just having fun is when you are playing in the yard with friends. But soccer games are a competition and I think we are doing a disservice to our children when we act like the ONLY point of competitions is to participate.
I'd be a little more concerned why the child was bothered by her parents screaming "get it, get it." Why message has been sent that instead of viewing that as her parents being interested and encouraging her that she was "bothered" by it.
Yes, they are six and need to be having fun. I don't suggest taking that away from them nor do I suggest focusing on winning at this point. But surely a parent screaming and encouraging their child from the sidelines should be seen as a good thing and not a bad thing. Berating their child from the sidelines is what should be discouraged.
Reply
3-03-2007 @ 10:41AM
LS said...I didn't do soccer when I was a kid - I was a swimmer and a horse-person. While my parents couldn't yell from the sidelines at the horse shows (THAT would have caused problems...), I would have been crushed if I couldn't hear my parents and brothers yelling from the bleachers every time my head popped out of the water to breathe. I think we have gone just a little too far with this sideline nonsense. Once again, we are punishing an entire group for the repulsive actions of a few. When will we learn?
Reply
3-03-2007 @ 5:42PM
Ann Adams said...I think there's a difference between cheering for your child (or the team) and the behavior exhibited by a few parents. I can't imagine a crowd sitting in total silence through a soccer or baseball game.
Just don't frighten the horses.
Hi, LS. We're on the same side again.
Reply