BritChick Paris: I'm 38 and Want a Baby - Is it Too Late?
Mason Disick Is Quite The Ladies' Man
I'm just a mom who can (and does) say no
Filed under: Development/Milestones: Babies
Yesterday, Nadine wrote that Wednesday's episode of Oprah will look at moms who can't say no. Her post reminded me of this: recently my friend Leslie said, "I have to tell you something funny." After our last play date, her six-year-old son said, "Susan is STRICT." Leslie laughed and said, "I don't think of you as strict." And I said, "But you know, I think I am."
It's not so much that I think of myself as strict, which implies that I would say no to EVERYTHING my children might want to do. Instead, there are certain things that my kids are not allowed to do, like jump on the furniture or run or yell in the house. They are expected to say please and thank you, and to be respectful of adults. And for the most part, they are good about this, although sometimes, like at play dates, they will forget. And I don't hesitate to remind them.
I suppose that makes me strict. And frankly, I'm good with that.
But I also have to tell you this: I'm strict with my kids because it makes things easier for me. I don't like chaos, I find it very stressful, so the idea that my kids would run and yell in the house makes me feel tired. We have a huge yard, and we live close to the park, so my kids have ample opportunity to get out and be wild outside. And I don't see any reason why my intelligent, charming children shouldn't be polite, to each other and to me and to the barista at Starbucks and to their teachers and, well, to everyone. And they ARE polite, because I insist on it. Because I'm strict.
Would you mind if other parents described you as strict? Is it a compliment or a criticism?
It's not so much that I think of myself as strict, which implies that I would say no to EVERYTHING my children might want to do. Instead, there are certain things that my kids are not allowed to do, like jump on the furniture or run or yell in the house. They are expected to say please and thank you, and to be respectful of adults. And for the most part, they are good about this, although sometimes, like at play dates, they will forget. And I don't hesitate to remind them.
I suppose that makes me strict. And frankly, I'm good with that.
But I also have to tell you this: I'm strict with my kids because it makes things easier for me. I don't like chaos, I find it very stressful, so the idea that my kids would run and yell in the house makes me feel tired. We have a huge yard, and we live close to the park, so my kids have ample opportunity to get out and be wild outside. And I don't see any reason why my intelligent, charming children shouldn't be polite, to each other and to me and to the barista at Starbucks and to their teachers and, well, to everyone. And they ARE polite, because I insist on it. Because I'm strict.
Would you mind if other parents described you as strict? Is it a compliment or a criticism?
Your<span>Voice</span>
Ask Us Anything About Parenting
Recently Asked
TheTalkies:RelatedVideos
-
Madonna's Daughter Lourdes Caught Smoking
Madonna's 15 year old daughter Lourdes caught smoking. Hey everyone this is Ani Esmailian for Hollyscoop. Madonna is always talking about being a strict parents, but it looks like her daughter Lourdes is still being bad behind moms back. Lourdes, who is only 15, was caught smoking while hanging out with some male friends in New York. The 10th grader tried to hide the cigarette by holding it off to her side while walking when she saw photogs, but it was too late, she was already caught. Madonna w
-
Sexy Lingerie for Moms
Michelle Madhok of Momfinds.com shows Rene Syler of Parents TV some hot and sexy lingerie for moms.
-
Same Sex Parents: Two Moms
Parents TV talks to a same sex couple, two women who adopted two girls and how they share their role as mothers.
-
Getting Rid of Parenting Guilt
Parenting can involve a healthy dose of guilt. Here are some tips to help cope with those feelings and refocus your thoughts.
SitesWeLove
- Site Map
- |
- Staff
- |
- Terms of Service
- |
- Privacy Policy
- |
- Trademarks
- |
- Advertise With Us
- |
- About Our Ads
- |
- AOL Downloads
- |
- Contact Us
- |
© Copyright 2012 AOL Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Aol Family
ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
3-05-2007 @ 4:04PM
Traci said...It wouldn't bother me a bit. In fact, most parents I see are WAAAAYYYY to lenient....so, for them to call me strict means to me that I'm doing something right. My children still have FUN but they know how to act in public and are never the ones screaming at the grocery store! If that makes me strict, I'll take it!
Reply
3-05-2007 @ 2:44PM
Amanda said...I agree with you and I would hope that people view me as strict. I think I would only be offended if someone said I was "too strict" but then, It also depends on who is making that statement too.
My husband and I do not tolerate rudeness from our daughter. she is two and she tells the cat "excuse me" as she walks by him on the sidewalk.
Reply
3-05-2007 @ 3:01PM
Jill said...I think I'm strict with my boys, but I'm finding that the downside is that the other kids would rather play at someone else's house. I'm afraid that to keep my kids nearby as they get older, and to always know where the are and what they're up to, I'm going to have to allow more junk food, more rowdy play and loosen up on my rules. I don't really want to do that, but I also don't want my kids wanting to go to the homes of kids who have parents who let them do just anything. Anyone else have this issue?
Reply
3-05-2007 @ 3:02PM
Lisa J. said...Ditto for my daughter. I am perplexed when I hear stories of parents being exhausted by their kids running around and screaming or not giving them enough personal space to go to the bathroom alone. Um, boundary setting anyone? I know it's different for everyone and not all kids are the same, but I agree that parents who let their kids walk all over them aren't doing their children (or themselves) any favors. Our daughter is very responsive to the house rules my husband and I have set and is very polite and well-behaved--she's a great kid, but I think it also helps that the rules have been consistently applied and were there from the start. Good for you Susan!
Reply
3-05-2007 @ 3:10PM
Karen Walrond said...Call me strict? Dude, I wear it as a badge of honour. :o)
Reply
3-05-2007 @ 4:48PM
LS said...My neice, when she was about 6, bought one of those "World's Greatest Dad" statues. She brought it home and doctored it before giving it to my brother for Father's Day. When he opened it, it said "World's MEANEST Dad". To this day - she's 20 and in college - that statue holds a place of honor on his dresser. My goal is for my son to ask his cousin if he can have that statue to pass on to me... altered to say "World's MEANEST Mom". My brother is not mean, he's strict. He's also the most fun dad you could ever want - he has always played with his kids, taking them skiing, skating, biking, hiking, whatever. But he never lost sight of the fact that he was the father, and they were the kids. Those kids (and their friends) knew where the line was, and the consequences of crossing it. I believe it's for that reason that kids always gathered at their house - yeah, he was strict, but they also knew what the rules were, and knew what would happen if those rules were broken. They also had the coolest treehouse around...
He has been my role model, first as a teacher, then as a parent. I want to be fun and enjoy my kids, but at the same time, I want them to know that I am absolutely their parent - the one who lays down and enforces the rules AND the one who has their back when they need it.
Reply
3-05-2007 @ 5:13PM
AJ said...What you label as "strict" I call "involved."
Reply
3-05-2007 @ 7:57PM
Uly said...I've gotten told I'm strict. I laugh - I'm not nearly as strict with these kids as their actual parents, especially the dad, are!
I've also gotten told that my nieces are 'very well-behaved', which makes me alternately laugh and cry. I don't think they're badly behaved for their ages (3.5 and 16 months), but I don't think they're paragons. They behave exactly as I expect children those ages to behave. But I guess for some people, it's easier to deal with running off (my real pet peeve) than to make a rule (time outs, or leaving wherever it is to go home) and stick with it.
Reply
3-05-2007 @ 7:21PM
Angela said...I actually had the seven-year-old call me strict - as in "you're stricter than daddy, we listen better to you" - if that means that I am respected by him and his sister, by all means I want to be the "strict" one.
Reply
3-05-2007 @ 9:47PM
rebecca Biernesser said...LS-I had to laugh at your post, I could just image your brother's face when he saw that gift...
I had to think about this one...I believe I am strict, BUT with other people's children (I baby-sit and have nieces...). I have a 5 year old and what comes out of his mouth (not always bad, just sometimes you wonder) is not something I would take from another child, but b/c he is mine I am able to let some of it go...does that mean I let all of it go? NO, there is a stopping point and he knows it. Sometimes he forgets, but the guy is 5, so we remind him to watch his mouth. Does my child know how to act in public and without mom and dad being there? yes and he gets praise for it.
My biggest role though? If my child gets in trouble when my husband or I are not around (baby-sitter, grandma's,...), I do not care if he was punished by them, he will be in trouble from his parents. my mom hates this rule adn thinks it's double punishment. I don't think so, I think it enforces our rules.
Reply