My six-year-old son has ADHD; he also has a pragmatic language disorder, which means that while he understands words and has a large vocabulary, he often fails to pick up non-verbal cues like tone of voice or facial expression. Sometimes he doesn't realize that other people are angry or frustrated with him, nor does he always recognize friendly overtures. This combination of hyper and distractable and clueless can make for some rough days at school, and recently he's been butting heads with one particular teacher. Her read is that he is being disrespectful; his version is that he's always getting in trouble but he doesn't know why. I don't doubt that they are both right, in their own way, but it's frustrating to me because I don't really know how to help either of them.

Yesterday, when I picked Henry up at school, his teacher came over to talk with me. She told me that Henry had said to her, "When I have a good day, it's like this" (he drew a straight line in the air with his finger) "but when I have a hard day, it's like THIS" (and he drew a mess of circular squiggles in the air). He heard her saying this and piped up, "Yes! And this morning was like this (squiggles) but this afternoon was like THIS (straight line)." The teacher said, yes, that was right, his day was just like that.

Then she said, "When he did that, I totally understood what he was saying." And I said, yes, I do, too.

Henry's day: a line or a squiggle. Or sometimes, both.