NannyCams: do you tell?

by Roger Sinasohn (Subscribe to Roger Sinasohn's posts) Mar 14th 2007 4:37PM

Over the past few years, Rachel and I have frequently talked about hiring a nanny to watch the kids. Never mind, for the moment, that we can't really afford it. Currently, my sister-in-law and mother-in-law watch the kids during the day, but my MIL, while in very good health, is no spring chicken and we don't know how long my SIL's will want to watch our kids for us. Hiring a nanny for at least part of the time would make things easier all around.

We're pretty much in agreement that if we did hire a nanny, we would install some cameras around the house. What I've been wondering about, however, is whether it would be better to let the nanny know the cameras are there or to keep them hidden? On the one hand, if the nanny knows the cameras are there, it might keep him on his toes, but it might also just encourage him to do any naughty things outside of the cameras' views. If, on the other hand, the nanny is unaware of the cameras, he can't avoid them, but any wrong-doing would only be recorded, not prevented.

What do you all think? Are nannycams a good idea in the first place? If so, should they be hidden and not disclosed or should prospective nannies be made aware of them?

Comments (21)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

Carol 3-14-2007 @ 5:09PM

If you don't trust your nanny enough to not watch her all the time, don't hire her. Nanny cams are good if you think someone is stealing from you and you need to prove it or something like that, but not as a daily tool for spying.

I have been a nanny before. I wouldn't want to work for a family that didn't trust me. I say do a background check, ask a lot of questions, interview moe than once if you need to, follow up on all her references, and agree to do a trial period before officially hiring her. Leave the nanny cam out of the equation. If you don't tell her about it and she finds it, it will really hurt her feelings. If you do tell her about it, she will think you don't trust her and she will feel like she can't really be herself.

Sandy 3-14-2007 @ 6:47PM

If there is enough distrust to have a camera, you shouldn't be leaving your kid with that person.

There is an excellent book that covers this, among a ton of other ways to keep our kids safe. It's called Protecting The Gift by Gavin de Becker.

SKL 3-14-2007 @ 5:36PM

I agree with the previous poster. Besides, what would you do if you saw something on the video that you didn't like, but that wasn't bad enough to merit firing? If you say anything, you're caught, and if you don't, that controlling little person inside you is going to go nuts. If you're not ready to entrust your child to another person, don't try doing it halfway. When you are ready, just take the plunge. You might be surprised at how delegating beats micromanaging!

Meghan 3-14-2007 @ 5:47PM

I agree with Carol -- if I were a nanny and found out that there were cameras watching me and nobody had told me they were there, I'd be really offended. That said, if I KNEW they were there, I wouldn't be the same nanny, either -- and not in a good way. I wouldn't feel as comfortable being silly or goofy around the kids, for one thing, knowing that the parents were watching and might be judgmental about my dorkiness (I like being silly with kids, but I'm ALWAYS more reserved when there are adults in the room with me). I'd feel the need to be far more "serious" and less playful. It would completely change the dynamic between me and the child/children.

Do you really need the nanny cams? I mean, if the issue is that you're afraid the nanny might abuse or neglect your children, talk to your kids beforehand and tell them they need to tell you right away if anything like that happens, and that you won't be mad and they won't be in trouble. If you're afraid the nanny is going to steal from you, then you haven't done your homework -- don't hire a nanny without lots of references!

Anji 3-14-2007 @ 6:08PM

I thought it was illegal to film someone without their knowledge? It is here, anyway. :o/

Lex 3-14-2007 @ 6:15PM

Actually, as a nanny myself, I have to say I don't think it's that bad of an idea. Yes, we already go through the background checks and interviews, but if it's going to keep children safe then I'm all for it. I'm not about to do anything wrong, so what do I care as long as they aren't taping me in the bathroom? I have a friend who was molested in a daycare bathroom when she was little, and I'm all about keeping children safe.

Admittedly, I wouldn't want someone to take it too far and critiquing my every move, so I'm not sure how I'd feel about that. I don't think anyone's perfect, and sometimes people don't approve of a nanny/daycare worker (I've done both) letting something slide where sometimes they might do the same thing themself.

I think that very often children are too afraid to tell other adults when they've been abused or hurt because no matter what you tell them, they are probably going to feel ashamed. So I also think it would defeat the purpose to tell your nanny when you are taping him/her, and would be better overall if you didn't.

Miss 3-14-2007 @ 6:13PM

Anji, I have no idea where you live, but in all parts of the US it is totally legal to film a person without their knowledge.

Lex 3-14-2007 @ 10:15PM

It is not illegal to film your own house, however.

Angela 3-14-2007 @ 6:28PM

Miss - it's legal as long as you don't tape sound.

I agree with the majority of posters. If you hire a nanny, you should trust them enough not to need cameras. But if you feel the need to have nanny-cam anyways, tell the nanny. Yes, she may be more on her toes to prevent things that you don't want to see, but it will give you piece of mind anyways.

I don't know how I feel, or if I'd work for a family who had a nannycam, but it would be better if I at least knew it was there ahead of time, rather than being shocked when a parent confronted me about something on the film.

Your kids are old enough to talk right? They should be able to tell you anything that goes wrong with a nanny.

Miss 3-14-2007 @ 6:41PM

Angela: In most states, sound can be recorded as long as one person other than the person recording knows of the recording. So you could tell your spouse, mother, boss, etc.

leela 3-14-2007 @ 6:47PM

All the criticism about the cameras is amazing to me. Do any of you have a nanny?

I have a live-in nanny and a nannycam. I have also been an live-in nanny. Let me start by saying, for me the idea of completely trusting someone I don't know well alone with my child is insane. This person will be alone with your child in your house. For me this isn't about safety. I beleive nannies in general aren't going to physically hurt kids. But who is to say that they won't sit on the couch all day and watch TV. Or scream and yell at them? I have found one of our nannies at the park with my daughter reading a book on a bench. She was completely unaware that I was there and that I had taken my daughter for a walk. That is why I have a nannycam.

I always tell my nannies that the camera is there. I would rather have an uncomfortable nanny than a neglected child.

Justine 3-14-2007 @ 7:52PM

I'm a young (21) sporadic nanny/babysitter and I've never heard of those things before, though they make sense logistically.

However, I know that I would feel very uncomfortable if I knew there were cameras in the house. I would feel more on edge and would probably do things that I wouldn't normally out of fear of being misinterpreted and therefore judged wrongly. It would make everything seem so mechanical.

On the other hand, how do you really trust people? I live in a large metropolitan city and the family that I babysit for every now and then just interviewed me and verified that I was a student, nothing else. I know I'm a good person and wouldn't do anything to harm their baby, but they gave me a lot of power and trust by putting me in this position, despite the fact that they don't know me very well.

I guess in my own personal experience with my extended family, finding a babysitter has never been an issue because there's always someone who'd be up for it (I have a lot of young adult cousins as well as toddler/school age cousins). It is something to think about down the road when I do have a family, I suppose.

Kristin 3-14-2007 @ 8:37PM

As a full time nanny (for over 8 years) I agree with some of the previous posters. If you do not trust a nanny to work in your home without having cameras, you probably shouldn't hire one. There are laws in most states that require the nanny to sign off on the video taping, and your local police department has to be contacted as well. At one of my interviews a few years back, one father told me he went through the steps for the taping process. When he went to his local police station, they said to him, "If you need this in your home, you should not be hiring a nanny. Put your child in a learning center." and that was the end of that.
As a mother, I understand your concerns. I would feel the same way about hiring a nanny for MY child, which is why we put her in school for two days and have family watch her during the others. As a nanny, I would not agree to be taped. I would not feel comfortable being on camera during work hours, and for many good reasons. Think about the little personal things you do when no one is looking. People pick their noses, they may change their clothes in the middle of the living room while the kids are down for a nap, they may pick food out of their teeth, scratch their butt, pick their toenails, you never know. Personally, I would feel weird watching someone else. I believe that only right time for a camera would be when you suspect something (child abuse, poor behavior).
On the other hand, I am not a teenager. I am an adult, and a parent, and I keep that in mind when I go to work every single day. If I wouldn't do something as a parent, in front of my own child, I wouldn't do it as a nanny unless I was told otherwise by the child's parents.
You may find someone that you feel you can put your total trust in. There's always the option of performing a background check (which is highly recommended) and checking atleast three references. If your children are old enough, question them at the end of the day and see how they react to the things you ask them.
Also, think of videotaping your mother in-law. What would you find if you watched her for a week or so? People snoop around, do things you wouldn't expect them to do. I have my grandmother opening my mail all the time, which is a felony-family member or not. If you decide to go with the camera, make sure you set boundaries for the nanny. Let her know what is acceptable and what is not, because if you aren't clear there could be problems. Is it alright for her to read or go online to check email while the kids are napping, or should she be doing laundry and cleaning? And also, all nannies should be allowed some down time during naps. I work 12 hour days, and you better believe that I sit down and read a book or use my computer once a day. People who work in offices at "real" jobs are allowed breaks, and nannies should also.

Kris 3-14-2007 @ 9:05PM

Just tell her there are hidden cameras. That's what I would do. Good luck!
http://wondermom.blogspot.com

Beth 3-14-2007 @ 9:57PM

I worked as a nanny for a few years and the family that I worked for told me up front that they had nanny cams installed. I had no problem with it. The parents were very through in their interview process, but even still I was a complete stranger to them. They were doing what they needed to do to insure their infant was safe. It took me a few weeks to be comfortable with the idea of the cameras (being able to play with the baby without worrying that I looked silly, ect). But it didn't take long for me to forget all about them. When I left the family after three years, they told me they had only used the cameras for the first few months and after that they knew their child was being well cared for. I was good at my job and took excellent care of their child, but I'm sure that reviewing the tapes helped them feel good about leaving him with me. I do, however, feel it is wrong to tape someone without warning them for all the privacy issues that Kristin mentioned. As a parent myself, the only daycare center that my son has ever gone to had nanny cams installed that I could watch from my computer at work. It made me feel much safer.

papajoneh 3-15-2007 @ 1:43AM

This is really interesting. Im in the process of getting a live-in nanny (amah) and also had this thought of installing the camera. a very interesting debate here.

Kristin 3-15-2007 @ 4:01PM

Lex,
You wouldn't be just "filming your house", you would be filming an employee inside your house. When you hire someone as an employee (nanny, babysitter, housekeeper) to work in your home, you have to abide by certain laws. I work for a lawyer, and although states differ in the amount of laws and regulations they have- it's still a wise idea to follow up on them.

Miss 3-15-2007 @ 5:20PM

Working for a lawyer certainly does not make you one, Kristin. There is no regulation or limitation on filming employees during the scope of their employment. Or taping them. Or checking their email and web history.

Tamyu 3-17-2007 @ 12:06AM

I have worked as a nanny before...

And I personally would not mind not knowing. At least for the first few weeks. Anyone can look great in an interview, but really, can you tell what that person is going to do when you`re away? I always did my job very well, and I have full confidence that if I had been watched, there would have been nothing to complain about.

I don`t think there is anything wrong with a family making sure their nanny is doing the job well. It isn`t a job where you have a training period, and from day one you are responsible for the children`s lives and well being. I don`t think it is bad at all for a parent to want to check up on things until they were sure of the nanny.

If they`re the type of family who would complain about tiny things that don`t matter - let them. I wouldn`t want to work for them either. Most people don`t keep the cameras up after the initial first few days or week unless there is some behavior they are suspicious of.

In fact, the nanny cam actually saved me from getting into a lot of trouble once when the 6 year old boy I was watching pulled out his scouts axe and decided to chop through a door with it.

melissa 3-25-2007 @ 5:08PM

No matter what the nannies and babysitters on here have posted about it being offensive to be taped, or about trust or any other thing, go for it... get the nanny cam... and in the interview ask the applicant how they would feel about having a nanny cam in their place of employment. If they ask specifically if there will be one, don't be specific, just say it's a possibility you're exploring and leave it at that. Don't let any nanny or babysitter tell you that you should completely trust the person you leave your child with. It is up to you and you only to protect your child from harm. I would not under any circumstances give any person 100% trust with my child, who is the most important thing in my entire life. My SISTER babysits my child and now and then I turn on my nanny cam just to be sure. Don't let anyone tell you that you should put your child in Daycare, it is better for them to be at home in many ways and if you can provide that for them then you are a lucky parent. Daycare does not mean they will be safe anyway, things happen there too.

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