Lesbian wants court to ban gay adoptions

Filed under: Adoption, Gay Parenting

How did Sara Wheeler go from starting a family with another woman to asking a judge to ban gay adoption? The gay community has called her "self-hating," but she says "It's about motherly rights."

In 2000, Sara and her partner, Missy started a family with the shared last name of Wheeler. Sara gave birth to a son via artificial insemination, and, because Georgia has a constitutional ban on gay marriage, but no laws governing gay adoption, Missy adopted the boy to legally become his second parent two years later.

Then it all went downhill. Sara started a relationship with someone else, and subsequently wouldn't let Missy see the baby. This led to a break-up in 2004, and Missy's fight for joint custody of their boy.

In order to continue to keep Missy and the child separated, Sara then asked the court to throw out Missy's adoption, saying it violated Georgia law, and therefore should never have been approved.

So when all was said and done, the case had little to do with anyone's beliefs on whether or not gays should be able to adopt, and was instead the last-ditch effort of a woman desperate to keep a baby boy from one of his parents.

And in the end, she lost. The state's Supreme Court refused to hear the case, and now the couple operates under more or less a standard visitation agreement, with Sara as the primary caregiver. The couple's now 7-year-old son spends every other weekend and Tuesday nights with Missy, his adoptive mother, and the rest of the time with Sara, his biological mother.

Gay parents everywhere are breathing a sigh of relief.

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Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.