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Painful sex after giving birth?
Filed under: Your Pregnancy
Ask a group of first-time mothers who are nearing the end stretch of pregnancy and you'll have at least a couple who will say "I don't know how a baby is expected to come out down there!" While I believe it is very important to realize that your body is created the way nature (and, in my case, God) intended, the logistics seem a little iffy if you don't have any previous experience.
Once my children were born, I couldn't help but be absolutely scared to eventually get back to doing the deed. I had more than one person warn me about the first post-birth poop, but nobody wanted to talk about the first post-birth sexual experience.
I'm not going to lie. It hurt. Not only did it hurt, but breastfeeding tends to play my libido like a fiddle, so the entire scenario was less than ideal.
According to one study, it turns out that I'm not alone. Many women, especially those that had forceps-assisted births, had painful sex, urinary incontinence or decreased libido.
Fourteen months after the birth of my last child, I'm still waiting to get back to normal. I had about eight months of exclusive breastfeeding and we're still in the long process of weaning. Even though we're down to one or two breastfeeds a day, my body (and the hormones) is still trying to stay in "No Libido Mode."
With sex everywhere in our society, I often feel alone in my struggles. Is it normal still to have these issues this long after birth? Or is everyone else jumping back in the sack the night they come home from the hospital?
Once my children were born, I couldn't help but be absolutely scared to eventually get back to doing the deed. I had more than one person warn me about the first post-birth poop, but nobody wanted to talk about the first post-birth sexual experience.
I'm not going to lie. It hurt. Not only did it hurt, but breastfeeding tends to play my libido like a fiddle, so the entire scenario was less than ideal.
According to one study, it turns out that I'm not alone. Many women, especially those that had forceps-assisted births, had painful sex, urinary incontinence or decreased libido.
Fourteen months after the birth of my last child, I'm still waiting to get back to normal. I had about eight months of exclusive breastfeeding and we're still in the long process of weaning. Even though we're down to one or two breastfeeds a day, my body (and the hormones) is still trying to stay in "No Libido Mode."
With sex everywhere in our society, I often feel alone in my struggles. Is it normal still to have these issues this long after birth? Or is everyone else jumping back in the sack the night they come home from the hospital?
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ReaderComments (Page 2 of 2)
3-30-2007 @ 9:36AM
barb said...i didnt have any issues until after my third and final baby...yes ladies i tied my tubes. After that sex has been uncomfortable and im rarely interested....this doesnt work real well in a new marriage....i say new being not quite six months......i love my hubby but i couldnt care less. i usually give a little when he starts complaining but most case not if i dont feel like i have to.....any suggestions.....what is sad is until last may i wanted it all the time.....worse than a man.
Reply
3-30-2007 @ 4:26PM
Eva said...I didn't get my libido back until I stopped pumping (I exclusively pump my milk) in the middle of the night (at around 6 months my baby started sleeping 13 hours straight at night). It's amazing--about a week after sleeping that long was a regular occurrence, I suddenly cared about sex again.
Those hormones are rough!
Reply
11-26-2007 @ 3:36AM
Richardard Weidemann said...I'm on the other side of the sex life issue. I'm a husband and father of 2 great kids, a son who's 5, and a daughter of nearly 3.
When my wife, at 21 years old, delivered our son, he weighed in at just over 7 lbs.and was in the 25th percentile for both weight and length. She had 2 appesiotomies and still had a 4th degree tear. Mind you she's 5' tall on a good day and weighed in at a whopping 114 lbs. when she gave birth. When she got stitched up, her OB said at one of her PP appointments said that he stopped counting after 250 stitches.
When our daughter was born, she tore only slightly and required just a few stitches. However, our daughter was 6 weeks early and weighted 4 lbs, 14 oz.
Now, after both kids, but especially after the first, there was, and still is, a very sharp drop in lobido on her part. Before kids, we used to make love 4 or 5 times a week and sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. And this was good, quality sex, too. She could have multiple orgasms, as well.
Now, after 5 1/2 years since our first child, we aren't even close to having a "normal" sex life. It is still painful for her to have intercourse. And, yes, it is very frustrating for me, not only because things aren't back to normal, but also because she is getting little to no enjoyment, which is a large part of it for me.
So, just wanted to put in a man's perspective.
Reply