The other side of abortion

My brother has spina bifida and hydrocephalus (they put a shunt in at birth to keep the water drained off his head). He's 34 years old, and a great uncle to my children. I'm very thankful that my mother didn't pull the plug when he was born. (The doctors tried to convince her to let him die, because he would be nothing more than a complete vegetable (of course she didn't have money or insurance).) My brother was the manager of a retail store for many years before having too many physical complications to continue working.

I am not pro-life for religious reasons. Deep in the core of my being I feel it is inherently wrong to kill babies- for any reason. My mother made her choice based on faith though. That works for a lot of people.

This woman chose to kill her child because it would be highly inconvenient to have a disabled child. (I did not read the article, but I surmise as much from what you wrote here.) It is. I have two (not spina bifida), and it is highly inconvenient. Sometimes life is difficult and inconvenient- such is the nature of life. I have beautiful children, and I wouldn't do it differently for all the money and convenience in the world.

Side note- it is impossible to tell just how disabled a child with spina bifida will be when in utero. It could be extremely mild, possibly unnoticable, to severe. My brother's is severe, and I'm pretty certain he's glad he's alive and no one put him out of his "misery".

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Could not get into the article (the link went to an article about seafood). But anyway, I do feel for the people in these situations, because when I was pregnant, several problems were discovered on an ultrasound having to do with my son's brain, heart and an enlarged nuchal fold. Obviously these all tend to be serious. Guess what? Doctors make mistakes, ultrasounds are *very* hard to read. My son is now 2 and there is nothing wrong with him. Many ladies would have gotten an abortion. I know it is hard when the child you hoped for isn't what you expected, we have several friends whose children have disabilities and health problems. But to me this is just a politically correct reason for having an abortion. Is it ever right to kill a human being just because they aren't as perfect as you? The wikipedia article on Spina Bifida lists a number of well known people who were born with it. I do want to read the original article when the link is fixed.

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Lisa,

Spina bifida is detected by amniocentisis, not ultrasound. It's a fairly accurate test, but like I said- it won't tell you the severity. There are people walking around with spina bifida and will never know they have it.

My post was more emotional, because this is obviously a topic that hits home for me. But I like the way you worded yours better- "a politically correct reason for having an abortion".

I couldn't get to the original article either, but in my case- that may be a good thing!

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In America where health insurance is hard to come by, and the government programs for assisting the disabled are constantly under attack by Republicans.. And peoples pensions are being changed AFTER they have retired.. And insurance companies are being dicks left and right and the government is doing nothing about it.. And barely a day goes by without some horror tale about assisted living facilities and mistreatment... I'd not want to subject a child of mine to that uncertain life.

At the same time, I don't know if I could abort.

It's a hard call.

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I admire this Mom's courage and strength. By sharing her struggle with the world she helps paint a different picture of women who opt to undergo an abortion. I am glad this couple was able to lean on each other to help cope with this tragedy.

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The article does help give a better perspective. I was way out-of-date on the technology for detecting spina bifida.

Still, I must wonder, as my brother has this same exact form of spina bifida, what he would think to someone saying they killed their child because they loved her? Who is to say that a viable life is only a perfect one?

If you were really wanting a boy, and it turned out to be a girl, then it would still be OK to abort (no reason is necessary, but there is always a reason).

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Most of us have relatives with all kinds of disabilities, and the vast majority of them don't feel that they would have been better served by being aborted before birth.

Who are we to decide that a viable disabled person would rather be dead?

The value of life in our society continues to be chipped away by these types of attitudes.

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The gal wrote the best thing that sums up all I can think of about having kids "Nobody told me that what was rooting around inside me was a hope, not a promise." SKL hasn't met me, but I am someone who would not wish a severely disabled child of mine to be alive. I would much rather not let that perhaps potential be removed as a potential before the suffering of life begins. I would much rather have an abortion then to give birth to a child that I know will die becuase I will not help keep that child who is suffering alive (and those choices are made all the time, we just don't know about it). Sometimes the hard choice, the unpleasant one, is the right one.

I never want to have to make decision whether to continue with a pregnancy, but I sure as hell want the choice to be mine. Life is not easy, and sometimes we make horrible choices. Horrible becuase either way it sucks.

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Wow! An abortion related post on blogging baby where the majority are coming down on the pro-life side? Wow.

You can't just kill someone because their care is expensive and/or heartbreaking.

We don't allow that choice for a child (or adult) who comes by his disability after being born.

This woman has a sad story. It's made sadder that she chose to kill the child she was supposed to protect and that people applaud her for it.

(and you might find that most pro-lifers have a thorough understanding of the myriad reasons that women choose abortion. Pro-choicers like to claim enlightenment for themselves and paint pro-lifers as a bunch of ignorant rednecks.)

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"Pro-choicers like to claim enlightenment for themselves and paint pro-lifers as a bunch of ignorant rednecks.)"

That's a sweeping generalization and, as with most generalizations, it paints a false picture.

Many people wouldn't opt for abortion under any circumstances. It might be due to their religious beliefs or their personal feelings. I would respect them and their choice.

I don't for one minute believe you're responsible for the bullet proof glass on the Planned Parenthood windows and doors or the attacks on clinic workers.

And you don't come across as redneck. You follow your beliefs.

So do I and just as I would never condemn your choice or your religious faith, I would respect the right of another woman to choose otherwise.

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Its easy to be pro-choice but sometimes when you are faced with the decision of whether or not to end your pregnancy your ideas of where you stand can change.
At 17, a senior in high school I became pregnant. I also had out of control type 1 diabetes. My mother who had had three abortions herself told me that it was my only real option. I thought I was pro-choice but now faced with this situation I knew in my heart that abortion was not something I wanted to do. But I had no support. In fact my doctor told me that due to my diabetes my baby was more than likely already seriously affected. My doctor was talking about scenarios such as spina bifida, brain damage, birth defects... All things I knew nothing about and didn't understand. I was young and scared and had the abortion.
That decision has now become the biggest regret of my life. I am 27 now. I have two children and my pregnancies were very hard on my body. So much so that I have decided not to have more children. The only thing I have ever wanted was a big happy family. I have two kids, it could have been three.
At 17 I don't know how well I could have taken care of a baby with serious health problems (especially since I couldn't even manage my diabetes). But I didn't even give myself a chance to try. I wish I would have had support. I know now from what my OBGYN has said that my baby probably would have been healthy. I think about that baby a lot, it would have been 10 yrs. old by now.
I am pro-life but I do not look down on or judge those who do have abortions or are pro-choice. We each have our own decisions to make and to live with. I just hope that when making a decision as serious as this a woman takes her time, looks deep inside herself and seeks help and support from others. Because abortion is not a decision you can go back on and it can be very hard to come to terms with having made the wrong decision either way.

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I am a Christian and I am completely Pro Choice. I suppose I would be a little on the redneck side too. The fact of the matter is it is a personal choice and a choice that the woman must live with. I do not ever want someone to take the right to choose what I do with my body away from me. Dana says it best --

"I am pro-life but I do not look down on or judge those who do have abortions or are pro-choice. We each have our own decisions to make and to live with. I just hope that when making a decision as serious as this a woman takes her time, looks deep inside herself and seeks help and support from others. Because abortion is not a decision you can go back on and it can be very hard to come to terms with having made the wrong decision either way."

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