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Parent vs Parent: Circumcision
When Nolan's father and I learned in pre-natal class that circumcision was no longer routinely done (nor recommended) in Canadian hospitals, we looked at each other in amazement. Really? I think we'd both assumed we'd have our son circumcised after birth because, well, that's how it's done, right? Like father, like son. Most baby boys were circumcised routinely during the mid to late seventies when we were born, and the procedure had been so normal it was covered under our regular healthcare.
"It's not done that way anymore. The United States is now the only country that circumcises most of their newborns, and less than 6% of babies in this province undergo the procedure. The medical community warns that it is unwarranted, potentially dangerous, and overall not recommended," cautioned our instructor, and my uneducated jaw dropped to the floor in amazement.
I got home, rubbed my belly and jumped on the computer, googling and researching and devouring any article I could find about the procedure. Unbiased articles were very hard to find, passions rose high on the subject and opinions were either vehemently for or adamantly against. The more I read, the more I realized I was falling into the latter category. There weren't enough benefits to outweigh the risks, and Nolan looking like his father, frankly, was not as important as the fact that he might resent us for doing this to him, that there were no clear benefits, that we could affect breastfeeding, that there was no compelling reason to do this.
I am not going to lie, Nolan's Dad and I fought bitterly about the issue. He said I couldn't understand because I wasn't a man. I said he didn't understand because he refused to read the research. I said over my dead body. He said OK. I cried. Doors were slammed, and the baby hadn't even been born yet.
In the end, there was a grudging compromise of sorts, but I must say I am relieved to know that Nolan will be able to make his own choice on the matter, as an adult, and under anesthetic if he wants it. I respect that parents try to make the right decisions for the babies -- and I think, in this instance, I think I've done right by my son.
"It's not done that way anymore. The United States is now the only country that circumcises most of their newborns, and less than 6% of babies in this province undergo the procedure. The medical community warns that it is unwarranted, potentially dangerous, and overall not recommended," cautioned our instructor, and my uneducated jaw dropped to the floor in amazement.
I got home, rubbed my belly and jumped on the computer, googling and researching and devouring any article I could find about the procedure. Unbiased articles were very hard to find, passions rose high on the subject and opinions were either vehemently for or adamantly against. The more I read, the more I realized I was falling into the latter category. There weren't enough benefits to outweigh the risks, and Nolan looking like his father, frankly, was not as important as the fact that he might resent us for doing this to him, that there were no clear benefits, that we could affect breastfeeding, that there was no compelling reason to do this.
I am not going to lie, Nolan's Dad and I fought bitterly about the issue. He said I couldn't understand because I wasn't a man. I said he didn't understand because he refused to read the research. I said over my dead body. He said OK. I cried. Doors were slammed, and the baby hadn't even been born yet.
In the end, there was a grudging compromise of sorts, but I must say I am relieved to know that Nolan will be able to make his own choice on the matter, as an adult, and under anesthetic if he wants it. I respect that parents try to make the right decisions for the babies -- and I think, in this instance, I think I've done right by my son.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
4-07-2007 @ 3:00PM
Maria said...We had similar discussions when I was prengant with our first, though we are in the US. My husband wanted it done, and I wasn't sure. In the end, I agreed to it (if he went with our son to the surgery and made sure they gave him anesthetic), because half of my husband's family is Jewish and it seemed very important to him to continue that tradition. It was horrible afterwards. My poor tiny new baby cried every time he peed for several days, and nursing was difficult (though I don't know if that had anything to do with it, and I did get the hang of it and nursed for over a year). Still, at 3, he hates having his penis touched during diaper changes and baths.
I'm pregnant again, and I told my husband if it's a boy, we will not be circumcizing him. We had the tears and arguments this time around. If cirucumcision is the only way he expresses his Jewish heritage (and it is, beause we're actually Catholic), then I will not put another boy through that. That leaves us explaining to our boys why they look different from each other. Maybe this one will be a girl, and it won't be an issue.
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4-07-2007 @ 5:13PM
Jill Sorensen said...This is a discussion that my husband and I have had a few times although we have not had to make that choice yet. We currently have two girls but I think that if we did have a third and it was a boy we would opt not to have the circumcision done. I respect others choices to go ahead with it, but we both feel that it is not necessary and many people go along with it just because it is what the consider the "norm". Good for you and your son for making an educated decision.
Jill - http://www.pandapark.com
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4-07-2007 @ 5:26PM
Allison said...The 6% figure comes from circumcisions reported by Alberta hospitals. However, most circumcisions are done by private doctors or moyles and are not reported. Claiming only 6% of male infants in Alberta are circumcised is inaccurate.
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4-07-2007 @ 7:06PM
Alice said...Kudos to you for leaving Nolan intct. It is his body and his decision. Being that there is absolutely no medical reason to have circumcision done to a newborn I simply cannot understand how any parent can do it in good conscience.
The look like the father argument is one I simply cannot wrap my head around. You have no guarantee at all the child will look like their father in any other way, why on earth does the apperance of the penis matter? From what I know most little boys and their dads don't go comparing penises anyway. I would think that teaching your child they are perfect just the way they are would be more important than teaching them they should comform to something just for the sake of conforming.
If doctors would truly educate parents on the issue and tell them what is lost when a child is circumcised it would be done a lot less here in the US. But being money is the bottom line for most things medical I don't see doctors actively discouraging circumcision any time soon.
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4-07-2007 @ 8:27PM
Kristin said...I have been unable to find recent, (post 2000) consistent stats on the incidence of (non-religious) circumcisions in Canada, by province.
The 6% quote was given to us by the pre-natal instructor, but if anyone has info on an up-to-date circumcision stat page, please feel free to share!
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4-08-2007 @ 12:20AM
Anita said...He is going to thank you when he's older, and learns about it himself in his own due time.
Boy, I live in Alberta, I can truly say that out of 15-20 boys my sons age and younger that we associate with, there's maybe ONE that IS circumsized,and in truth I can't even think of one at this moment. I would believe it comes close to that 6%, circ'd boys are the definite minority.
Let me assure your husband that your son won't be made fun of, the tide has turned "in the locker room" . If anything, he'll be loud and proud that his parents didn't alter his anatomy and feel pity for those whose parents did.
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9-08-2007 @ 5:26AM
Beth Kopp said...Good for you! I had my first son circumcised because, well, my husband is and I thought it was just what was done. My baby son had too much skin taken off, bled constantly, and now has what is called "adhesions". I have no way of knowing if this will cause more problems in the future like painful erections or not. We've been told it might, but we're praying for the best. Live and learn, right?
I'm now pregnant with my forth child and the sonogram said it's a boy. We won't be circumcising him. My coworker has a two uncircumcised sons and she said they've never had any problems with taking care of it or health issues. I like how you said your son will have the choice to have it done when he's older if he wants. That's a good way to look at it! I wish most parents would research it like you did and maybe they could avoid the problems like my son had.
Thanks!
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