It's trendy to be a stay-at-home dad
Categories: Just for dads, Money & work
Stay-at-home fathers are trendy, apparently.
That's the story according to a recent article on fathers as primary caregivers. While the piece unfortunately utilizes the tired and outdated "Mr Mom" cliche, it does a good job presenting the growing trend without sensationalizing it (mainstream media have a habit of treating stay-at-home dads like freak show oddities).
A particular point of interest -- at least for me -- was just how many men are staying home these days. The U.S. Census Bureau recorded 159,000 stay-at-home fathers (more than three times what the number was 10 years ago), and other researchers put the number as high as 2 million -- noting that the Census Bureau figures don't include fathers who work part time or from home.
As this generation of fathers seems ready to take on a more domestic role, and there's an increasing number of women outearning their partners in the workplace, the trend appears to be growing quickly.
I wonder how long it'll be before this is so common it's no longer newsworthy.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 6)
Jeff Williams 4-09-2007 @ 5:35PM
I wonder how many dads already work out of the home prior to having children? That's how I assumed my role as a stay at home father.
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Jeff 4-09-2007 @ 6:00PM
I know if my wife outearned me and I could be a stay-at-home dad I'd do it in a second.
http://365parents.com
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Lady M 4-09-2007 @ 7:00PM
I hate the term "Mr. Mom!" One of my old-school colleagues used it the other day, saying his wife was out of town for the weekend so he was playing Mr. Mom.
So later, I told him that I had to leave the office at 5pm, since my husband had to work late and I was playing Mrs. Dad.
http://nupboard.blogspot.com/
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Mom101 4-09-2007 @ 8:14PM
Yep, that's why we decided to keep the baby daddy home with the kid. Just trying to be trendy.
mom-101.blogspot.com
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Jonathon 4-09-2007 @ 8:15PM
That's totally why I quit my job for the kid. Shhh. Don't tell.
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Miracle 4-10-2007 @ 8:34AM
I think alot of it has to do with being able to work from home instead of clocking 60 hours a week in a cubicle. Alot of jobs can be done from home and with flexible hours, which allows us dads to be at home and still contribute financially.
Altnoise.net
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Amanda 4-10-2007 @ 10:40AM
I would never let my husband be a stay at home dad! I love him and he's a good dad, but only under strict supervision! He would have the kids dipping skoal, hunting, drinking beer, scratching their butts and saying AINT about every other word within a week. My husband kind of reminds me of Shaw from Open Season :)
His parents let him teethe on a pocket knife. that's right folks, I said they gave a BABY a POCKET KNIFE to teethe on. and they thought that was just so precious hee hee hee. aint he cute big bertha!! So, I not only have to raise our children but I have to undo everything that my in-bred in-laws have done to my husband. But kudos to all you dads out there who stay at home! don't give the kids a pocket knife to teethe on and you'll be just fine.
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Jeff 4-10-2007 @ 2:39PM
I love being "Mr Mom" I've had 2/3 custody of my son since he was 15 months old, he's almost 7 now. I consider myself one of the luckiest dads in the world to have had this opportunity as a work from home dad. All the memories I will truly cherish forever boy has my X missed out-LOL
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Stephanie 4-10-2007 @ 2:55PM
I commend men who stay at home with their kids; I have a small child of my own, and if I made more than my partner I and he wanted to stay home, I would love it. I'm single so, thats not an issue right now. Its not only a learning experience for children but for men as well. Kids need a parent at home in case of an emergancy and for that 'support.' mom or dad, Doesn't matter, if a man wants to do it, more power to him.
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DADDY AND JENNY 4-10-2007 @ 3:06PM
I worked part time during the evenings and stayed at home with my two girls. My spouse never gave me credit for all of the diapers that I washed and changed. I took the girls to school, made them breakfast, lunch, and dinner, ushered them to all appointments and went to the library weekly. It was a tremendous joy for me to raise those girls, but there was no appreciation on my formers' part. One day she will realize what I have done for the girls. I gave it my all and they have turned out to be great kids and contributors to this wonderful nation.
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mr ed 4-10-2007 @ 3:16PM
i became a stay home stepdad not even relizing it. i was the one who attended all the school functions .helped with homework ,did all the shopping and cooking,house cleaning .taught many skills to the boy plumbing ,mechanics,bikes,took him to all sorts of events showed him love and support all the while his mother was paying child support to his father while he lived under my roof and i footed the bill for both for both . but it turns out all i was to his mom was ababy sitter while she went out and cheated on me behind my back and his but i am dirt in his eyes as we are geting divorced so to all you stay at home dads beware of what could be happening under your watchfull eyes
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Jack 4-10-2007 @ 3:22PM
I'm a home dad and it was made possible with trueprofitsystem.com
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H Malcolm 4-10-2007 @ 3:25PM
"NOW" has emasculated the men of our country. Men are suposed to be the head, and providers in the home. The most inmportant job a woman can have is to raise healthy well adjusted children.
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Jerry 4-10-2007 @ 3:27PM
It has been a wonderful experiance for me to able to stay at home with my twin girl's . I have been with them now for 21 months and every moment has been special all in it's own way . Don't get me wrong it's been tough learning how to be a stay at home dad . But i missed so much of my two boy's toddler years. That i now get to spend so much time with the girl's it is such a blessing. Men if you get the chance to do it i would.It is only once in there lives are they this special.. LOVE MY KIDS
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Katie 4-10-2007 @ 3:28PM
I commend those fathers who stay home with their kids or who make arraingements to work from home. I think that you are incredable and will be forever blessed for taking the time to actually raise the chuildren that you decide to have. So many families have come to believe that the daycare lady is an extension of their family. I feel so sorry for all the children whose parents put their ambitions ahead of them. Stay at home dads rock!!!
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Serenity 4-10-2007 @ 3:43PM
I firmly believe that it depends upon the types of individuals the mother and father are. I have seen cases of neglect of the children by both genders.
I don't know about stay-at-home dads, but I was raised by my dad. He worked, but he knew where we were all the time; he had spies, lol. We had to sweep the floor or whatever really, really easy task (just to teach us responsibility) after school, and then we could go out and play with our friends. Don't ask me how we kept out of trouble, but I suspect that we were intimidated by his very gruff voice and sitting down to have a little talk, which was embarrassing. I only had to have a little talk once, which consisted of just a couple one-liners, when I stayed out too late with my friends. He kept us kids all in one place, while my mother, before he came and gathred us up and got custody, had us scattered all over the country. Even before their divorce, she let us run absolutely wild when we were just little toddlers. I can't for the life of me, with my bad sense of direction, figure out how I ever managed to get back home when my mother allowed all of us little kids run off in all directions for the entire day!
Therefore, certainly not in all cases, mind you, but in some cases, some kinds of men make good caretakers of the kids.
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Laura 4-10-2007 @ 3:52PM
Stay At Home Dad?? Mr. Mom?? PUH--LEEEZZZEEE. How gay is that. LIke we need any more help screwing up the kids of our generation. Stay at home dads are excused only IF the mom is also a stay at home parent, and only IF they are not on welfare. But for the dad to be at home while the wife works---proves the man has no balls and lets the woman wear the pants in the relationship. What happened to the women being at home. Men should be the ones out bringing home the money, not the women. Even if both parents do work, that is still excusable. Men dont know how to raise a child any better than they can wipe their own a**. My husband and I are divorced for this very matter. We were both working, I ended up pregnant. He agreed he would work, Id stay at home. Then came up with the stupid idea to ask if he could be the stay at home parent and I could continue working since I was bringing in more income. We got in a dispute. Ended up separating. Apparantely the separation drove him to drinking, drug abuse. Just the reason to have a custody battle. We had a court hearing twice, he never showed up, I got full custody, and his rights were terminated. MEN---or should I say pansy mama's boys---get your butt off the couch and go work. Unless you can give birth to a child and handle 9 months of pregnancy, you all have no "maternal" and nurturing skills to shape the children of our future.
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BDC 4-10-2007 @ 3:54PM
I was a stay at home dad for years(artist),while my wife worked as a school teacher. Our children loved it,
Now, my wife can no longer work I am back at the office and miss the times I spent at home watching them grow up.
I think it is great if a dad can stay at home.
As long as he can do the same work as his spouce did when they are home.
BDC
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Bill 4-10-2007 @ 3:56PM
This subject relates to the whole can a father be as nurturing as a mother? You're darn right they can and sometimes more so. However, there are many dads as well as many moms that should not be the primary care-giver. In a perfect world we would all be fulfilling our best role. Better yet we would all be nurturing, loving, supportive, fun disciplinary as needed, well balanced parents. However, we are not all equally equipped for this role.
I can tell you from personal experience that men are not as accepted as women at being the primary care-giver. Whenever I'm at school for my 5th grader, for say a field trip or "classroom helper for the day" all the other moms look at me with surprise to see a dad. Many will actually comment that it is unusual to see a dad at these functions.
One day it will be no longer newsworthy and there will be as many dads as moms at the kid's functions.
Until then ...
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Laura 4-10-2007 @ 4:00PM
I wrote a comment back (#18). To all of you men who, as hard as it may be, leave your wife and children to bring in the money and provide and work long strenuous hours putting up with S*** from your boss, I completely give you my two thumbs up. My comment was made only to those men who would rather be the "the wife" in the relationship.
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