Sharon Stone Sued By Former Nanny
Another one rides the bus (or not)
Filed under: Big Kids, Health & Safety: Babies, Day Care & Education
For the past two years, Ellie has attended a private school on the other side of town. My husband drops her off each morning on his way into the office and I pick her up every afternoon. That's all going to change this fall when Ellie begins first grade in public school and we are having a bit of a disagreement regarding transportation.
Due to the new schedule and the location of the school, my husband won't be dropping her off anymore. He wants me to drive her each morning and pick her up. I work at home with a flexible schedule and that scenario works out fine logistically. In fact, I would love to be the one seeing her off each morning.
The issue is that most, if not all, of the children in our neighborhood ride the bus to school and Ellie wants to join them. These kids aren't riding the bus out of necessity; most of the mothers don't work outside of the home and could drive their kids to and from school if they chose to. At least one mother tells me that riding the bus is a rite of passage that she wants her child to experience. Her daughter has been riding that bus for the last year with no incidents. But my husband has heard too many stories about drunk bus drivers, crashes and bullying and is convinced that putting Ellie on a bus is taking an unnecessary risk.
Putting your child's welfare in the hands of someone else can be scary, but we do it every day when we drop of her off at school. I understand his fears, but I think he is being overprotective and denying Ellie an opportunity to spread her little wings a bit. What do you think? Would you let your child ride the bus if you didn't have to?
Due to the new schedule and the location of the school, my husband won't be dropping her off anymore. He wants me to drive her each morning and pick her up. I work at home with a flexible schedule and that scenario works out fine logistically. In fact, I would love to be the one seeing her off each morning.
The issue is that most, if not all, of the children in our neighborhood ride the bus to school and Ellie wants to join them. These kids aren't riding the bus out of necessity; most of the mothers don't work outside of the home and could drive their kids to and from school if they chose to. At least one mother tells me that riding the bus is a rite of passage that she wants her child to experience. Her daughter has been riding that bus for the last year with no incidents. But my husband has heard too many stories about drunk bus drivers, crashes and bullying and is convinced that putting Ellie on a bus is taking an unnecessary risk.
Putting your child's welfare in the hands of someone else can be scary, but we do it every day when we drop of her off at school. I understand his fears, but I think he is being overprotective and denying Ellie an opportunity to spread her little wings a bit. What do you think? Would you let your child ride the bus if you didn't have to?
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
4-12-2007 @ 1:14PM
MamaChristy said...Obviously this is a decision you have to make as a family, but I would suggest at least trying her on the bus. While we hear about incidents on buses, I think that the actual occurrence is pretty low. I rode the bus for five years in school (even though my dad didn't work and could have easily driven me until I could drive myself) and there was never a vehicular accident and only the occasional fight - twice, if I recall correctly - with no one being hurt.
This will free you up from the carpool lane, have two less round trips of car emissions each day and give Ellie a sense of independence. You can always try it and decide later that you would rather take her to school yourself.
No matter what you decide, just remember that overall family harmony is worth a great deal. Good luck! ☺
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4-12-2007 @ 1:28PM
Amy said...I think, if you looked up the statistics, Ellie is probably safer on the bus than in your personal vehicle. There are a lot more accidents with cars than there are with buses; we just hear more about bus accidents.
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4-12-2007 @ 1:34PM
Caelligh said...I agree with MamaChristy - don't diss it till you've tried it. The worst thing that ever happened to me on a school bus was being bullied and that can happen anywhere you have a group of kids.
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4-12-2007 @ 1:37PM
Marcia said...I rode the bus until I got to 11th grade and got with my hubby who took me to and from school everyday. I agree that the bus is probably safer than a personal vehicle because most people use more caution when they're driving near buses than other cars. When my daughter gets of that age, if she chooses to ride the bus that's ok. If she wants driven to school, that's ok too we'll just have to pull a few strings for one of us to be available at those times.
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4-12-2007 @ 5:55PM
Kristen said...Well I can definitely see where your husband is coming from. Here in Columbus within a few months of each other a bus driver was found with cocaine and a needle sitting in plain view of students on the school bus... and most recently there was a 16 year old that was caught by her father having sex with her school bus driver. Not in the bus, but the guy had the balls to come to her house and pick her up and take her to some parking lot where the father caught up with him and his daughter. She had turned 16 a few days before hand and he was 29. He is going to court for his initial hearing today and I can't wait to watch the news at 5 to see what is going to happen.
With this going on and school violence I am half tempted to home school my little one.
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4-12-2007 @ 2:02PM
Susan Wagner said...I would not let my kids ride the bus, not because of concerns about their safety (Amy is right; kids are at more risk in your car than on the bus) but because my memories of the school bus are of complete chaos, and I wouldn't want that to be the start of my sons' day.
Mornings are stressful enough at my house; having the peaceful time in the car on the way to school lets the boys get ready to start their day. For my kids, that's really important.
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4-12-2007 @ 2:28PM
Ginny said...My son, who is in Kindergarten, LOVES to ride the bus. They have an adult "helper" on the bus, so that is a bonus. Not sure if your bus driver will have a helper or not, but, either way, I think Ellie will be fine.
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4-12-2007 @ 2:06PM
Mammacheryl said...My sister-in-law is a school bus driver. It was an easy way for her to make some money while still sort of being a stay-at-home mom. She could bring her toddler on the bus with her every morning. She loves her job, and she's very protective of "her kids." It's people like her that would make me feel better about letting my kid ride the school bus. There were many years in elementary school when I took the bus to school. It was very scary at times, especially since I went to a small school and would have to transfer to different buses at least once during the commute. I don't know what would have happened to me, if it weren't for the kindly, gruff bus drivers who would shepherd me on my way.
In high school, I went to school in a huge, but sparsely populated school district. I lived forty minutes from school, and my dad worked in the opposite direction. So I rode the bus. I met a lot of different kids I wouldn't have socialized with normally. We kept an eye out for each other. "Hey. Be nice to her. I ride the bus with her." That sort of thing.
I think I was only bullied a little bit in grade school on the bus. It was almost always by the older kids, and sometimes by my older sister. There weren't any other kids on the bus who went to my school, so I'd find nice, older students who were willing to play "guardian" to me.
My suggestion for anybody hesitant to send your kids on the bus... try to find an older child in the neighborhood who you know to be kind and responsible, and ask them directly if they can buddy up with your little one on the bus. You can even bribe them, if you think that would help them take their job more seriously.
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4-25-2007 @ 8:21PM
ReDinkyDink said...For the most part, riding the bus is just part of the whole school experience.
When I was in High School, I suddenly refused to ride the bus and insisted my mom drive me to school. She probably thought that I considered myself too cool to ride the bus at that age, but it wasn't the case. I was upset because there was a boy on the bus who used to unzip his pants and let his parts hang out - every day. It really upset all of us, but we tried to ignore it. No one ever told anyone about it - not our parents, teachers, or the bus driver. I finally told my mom ten years later.
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4-25-2007 @ 8:21PM
ReDinkyDink said...Oh and another story...
My two uncles lived on the same property - one in a house and the other in a trailer in the backyard. They had their own personal pot farm growing in the yard. Guess what they did for a living? One drive a school bus and the other drove an ambulance.
As a kid, I wanted to turn them in, but my mom wouldn't let me. Maybe she was afraid of what they would do if they found out I ratted them out?
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4-12-2007 @ 2:36PM
T said...You could always ask if you could try out the bus for a day or a week - also if there is an opportunity to meet the driver after he/she has dropped off the kids at school...
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4-12-2007 @ 3:03PM
Ann Adams said...Elcie has ridden a school bus since she was 3 and began ortho pre-school.
Rochelle rode one in second and third grade because she was in a different elementary school than her sisters.
Once the younger two started Kindergarten and Elcie was in 3rd, I drove them for a couple of years.
Now all 3 ride a bus again. No problems really.
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4-12-2007 @ 5:23PM
callistawolf said...We struggle with this one all the time. Even though the school bus picks up down at the end of our street, I drive our seven year old back and forth every day. My husband is very uncomfortable with him riding, even though my son would love it. It'd be nice not to have to run him every day, but on the other hand, I happily do it. Maybe in a few years when he's a little older.
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4-12-2007 @ 6:09PM
Remy said...At least try it! Encouraging kids to use mass tranport systems instead of driving everywhere is an important lesson - we don't have to be attached to our cars!
I rode the bus from when I started school at age 4 to when I finished it at age 17. That was in the UK where many school buses, mine included, are just regular public buses. I never had a problem and all my friends rode the bus too. Over here in the U.S. our 7 year old rides the bus to school and has no problem with it, our only issue is our 2 year olds severe jealously that she can't ride on the yellow bus everyday!
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4-12-2007 @ 6:27PM
Kristy said...I have the same problem. I know it sounds crazy, but I did not allow my now ten-year-old son to ride the bus until he started 4th grade!! My other two sons are now five and six, and both want to ride the bus next year. On one hand, I think it's a good sign-their experiences in this world so far have added up to that it's okay to take the bus (they have no reason to doubt the safety of the world around them). On the other hand, I just don't know...I gave up a lot to stay home with them, so that I am able to drive them to school and pick them up...I have heard stories about children getting lost, and I have even seen a local bus driver drive right through a train track crossing when the lights were flashing (and yes, the bus was full). Any thoughts? I want my children to be safe and well-adjusted, but I'm not quite sure on this one...
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4-12-2007 @ 7:12PM
Stephanie said...My daughter would be ecstatic to be able to ride a bus regularly. We live only 3 blocks from the school, so it's utterly out of the question.
It's hard letting them go on a bus. The first time my daughter had a field trip on a bus when I couldn't ride along was really hard for me. But it's also a good way to encourage independence.
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4-12-2007 @ 10:14PM
SKL said...Personally my only serious beef with school bus rides is that sometimes they are so long, they are a huge waste of a child's precious time. But if the bus ride is, say, a half hour or less, I would not have a problem with it.
I think of the purpose of mass transportation. It reduces traffic congestion, greenhouse emissions, and the use of natural resources. So if a bus is coming to your neighborhood anyway, putting your child on the bus is more environmentally responsible than driving her separately (unless you drive that way to go to work anyway). In addition, I don't want my kids to feel entitled to different treatment than their neighbors. What message does that give them - are they too good to ride the bus, or too immature compared to their friends, or what?
Also, although walking to the bus stop isn't as healthy as walking all the way to school, it's better than just walking from the door to the car.
If all the other kids Ellie's age are riding the bus, it's reasonable to believe that the bus ride is designed with their safety in mind. News stories about problems only make the news because they are exceptions to this rule. Unless you hear specific issues with your local school transportation system, I would put Ellie on the bus.
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