Am I teaching my kid to gamble?
Categories: Kids 5-7
I never gave this much thought until today. On our way home from school, we stopped at a convenience store for a snack. I spotted the scratch-off games at the counter and decided to buy one. I asked Ellie if she wanted to pick one out and before she could say a word, the woman behind the counter completely freaked out. She angrily informed me that Ellie could not pick out the ticket because she was underage. Before I could say a word, she went on to loudly question what kind of mother would teach their child to gamble.
I badly wanted to put this woman in her place, but when I looked down at Ellie and realized she was near tears, I decided to let it go. I took her by the hand and we calmly walked out of the store.
But I am still bothered by this. It goes without saying that I will never set foot in that particular store again. But now I am wondering if it is, in fact, illegal to let a child pick out a lottery scratch off ticket. My state's lottery website doesn't address who can choose the ticket, only that you must be 18 to purchase it.
More importantly, am I really teaching Ellie to gamble? I don't think so. What about you? Do you let your kids pick out lottery scratch off tickets?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Laura 4-13-2007 @ 8:23AM
Regardless of whether it's legal or not, the woman shouldn't have been questioning your parenting skills. I would complain, it was totally uncalled for.
I think a scratch ticket is just a scratch ticket. If you started playing blackjack with her, it'd be a different story.
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Shelly Gupta 4-13-2007 @ 8:34AM
Dear Sandy,
Dont let this episode bother you at all...We grew up playing Roulette as a family game. My parents, my brother and myself would have hours of fun playing this game. Now would you call this gambling?
I am not a gambler and all I remember is having fun with my family while playing the game...It has not made me a gambler.
All you were trying to do was having a moment of fun with your little one.
What is wrong in that?
Shelly.
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Mammacheryl 4-13-2007 @ 9:17AM
That lady was totally out of line. My mom let me pick out scratch-off tickets for her as well. And my older brother taught me how to play blackjack when I was six. I was a novelty act for him, and we'd play for dimes with his friends. Now, as an adult, I don't gamble. Casinos hold no appeal for me, and while I could still kick your butt at blackjack, I rarely play.
Letting a child pick out a scratch-off ticket to me is as harmless as letting her help pick out a Cosmo or a flavor of ice cream. Sure, none of those activities set great examples, but we're allowed to be frivolous once in a while.
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A 4-13-2007 @ 9:34AM
By the sounds of it, you're buying a lottery ticket, just for fun. It doesn't sound like you do it all the time or spends sums of money on it regularly.
There's still lots of time to teach your daughter about gambling and what it should be: just a little bit of fun time once in a while.
Another side to this: Life's a gamble. There are risks all over the place and in everything you do. As your daughter grows up, you'll teach her and she'll learn about evaluating outcomes and taking risks.
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Ethel 4-13-2007 @ 9:59AM
There was a couple in my church who would not purchase tickets to raffles for school fund raisers as they considered it gambling. For them, even the hint of impropriety was enough to decide that it wasn't worth it. I think you are teaching Ellie to gamble, but I don't know if its a bad thing. You are teaching her moderation in playing a silly game. I guess if gambling was a problem in my home I wouldn't engage in any, but if there is no problem I suppose there is reason not to.
To me it comes down to whether you are more comfortable with strict lines of action or if there are a lot of gray areas. I personally don't think life is an all or nothing choice, I believe we have the ability to use some sense - and I am sure Ellie is getting that.
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Stacy 4-13-2007 @ 10:06AM
Don't worry Sandy, you did nothing wrong. That woman was horribly out of line to react so violently. I wonder what bad gambling experiences hide in her closet that would make her react that way.
I have lots of memories of my parents letting me scratch off their tickets when I was a kid. Believe me, I am far from a gambler today.
Good luck in future scratchings!!!
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Ann Adams 4-13-2007 @ 10:06AM
But she was selling them?
I suppose as an employee she had no choice; still it seems a bit hypocritical to me.
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Jessica 4-13-2007 @ 11:09AM
On the way home from a soccer game as a teen, my dad stopped at a convenient store and wanted to buy me a Gatorade and himself a beer. The clerk would not sell him the beer b/c I was there with him! My dad argued for a minute that he was buying the Gatorade for me and the beer for himself but the clerk did not budge. Needless to say, we didn't ever stop at that store again.
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rbelle 4-13-2007 @ 11:57AM
What a tacky woman! People need to learn to mind their own business. I think you are actually teaching your child the right thing-- this is a game, we don't play it often, and it is just for fun. You are not treating it as a way to win grocery money or teaching her to "let it ride."
Now, I want money for a New York trip and I am off to pick up some scratch offs.
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Robin 4-13-2007 @ 12:20PM
I very much doubt you're teaching her to gamble - in fact, I think it's a good thing if you're modeling gambling in moderation within your limits. When I was small, my grandmother would let me play one of her scratch tickets as a treat, or my father would let me pick out the numbers for his weekly lottery ticket. And what it taught me, largely, was that wins over the price of a free ticket don't happen very often. Now as an adult, I find I would rather save my money as a sure thing, and only play the lottery now and then on a lark when the jackpot gets big.
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mp 4-13-2007 @ 1:10PM
the woman was probably out of line on commenting on your parenting skills. However, she was well within her duty to say your daughter could not pick out the lotto scratch ticket.
I worked in a convenience store for a couple of years while in college. The employees at the store didn't really care if the parents let their kids pick out a scratch-off ticket or pick the numbers for a lotto ticket.
Until, that is, the store got fined for selling a lotto ticket to a 17 year old. After that, everything was a lot stricter. It's probably not illegal to let the child pick out the ticket, but after getting slapped with a fine, why even give the slightest hint of impropriety?
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Nancy Toby 4-13-2007 @ 6:00PM
If they can't learn to gamble from mom or dad, where WILL they learn it!?
Seriously, I'd write a letter to the store owner or manager. That's way out of line.
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Uly 4-13-2007 @ 7:58PM
"Before I could say a word, she went on to loudly question what kind of mother would teach their child to gamble."
If she feels that strongly about it, she really ought to get another job - one where she wouldn't have to enable all these gamblers.
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Cassie 4-13-2007 @ 8:28PM
I can remember being in 1st or 2nd grade and going into a small store with my mom. She bought scratch offs every once and a while, and usually I got one too. So, in the store she picked them out, paid and I started grabbing for my ticket. She, of course, told me I couldn't scratch it in the store, but the guy told her to go ahead and let me. I won. So, I got another one, I won again, so I got another one. Once again I won, and it continued on 4 or 5 times. In the end I won nothing.
I have been doing scratch offs since I could understand them. My Pap got them for my Grandma and I in the mornings during the summer.
I see nothing wrong with scratch offs, poker, casinos or anything of the sort as long as it is done in moderation. Blowing your rent money on gambling is stupid. Doing it every once and a while for fun is perfectly normal.
Now, as a 16 year old I still enjoy scratch offs. I like to play the quarter game at the fair, I sometimes pick out lotto numbers and I play dice and cards sometimes. I don't spend large sums of money, I save quarters year round for the quarter game.
My parents taught me that gambling will NOT get me rich, and it is for recreation only, and only when you have the extra money to do so. A family friend lost everything he owned to gambling, so that was a lesson too.
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SKL 4-14-2007 @ 12:40AM
I think you're teaching Ellie to do whatever it is that you are doing. Which is gambling, but it's legal gambling. And it sounds like it's in moderation, the way I'm reading your post. If you are OK with Ellie growing up doing the same amount of legal gambling that you are doing, that's fine. But if you ever hope to tell her that NO gambling (or not as much gambling) is OK, then you will fail to teach her that, because she will learn what she lives. Like parents who smoke - no matter how much they tell their kids not to smoke, their kids still have a higher chance of smoking because they believe what they see, not what they hear.
I think that because some people get very addicted to gambling and it can become a huge problem, I would personally prefer to keep mine to a minimum in order to teach my kids that gambling is waste, whether it is legal or illegal, unless the intent behind it is charity rather than enrichment. When we were kids, we did play poker, but we played it with buttons or, later, pennies. It's just as much fun, (and feels deliciously naughty since its "poker"), yet it's not wasteful.
However, when the lottery gets really huge, like once in a couple years, I am not against buying a single $1 ticket just to see if today is my lucky day. Most of the $1 goes to our public schools, and it's worth it to me for an occasional taste of anticipation. I don't mind if my kids follow my example to that extent.
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Karen 4-14-2007 @ 3:45PM
Yes, you are teaching her to gamble and yes, I do think it is inappropriate. There needs to be clear lines of what is acceptable behavior for children and for adults.
I have no problem with playing the lottery and you are modeling behavior for your child that she will likely follow (moderation). That behavior should be joined with honest discussion about moderation, the dangers, pitfalls of gambling, etc.
But the actual act of gambling should be reserved for adults and I think choosing the card, is out of line.
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