10 reasons why home school could be a bad idea

I'm always intrigued about the whole home-schooling thing. I do find it a bit weird because I live in a city (about 5 million people) that has excellent public schools, and I've never met a home-schooled person or educator.

I wonder if it's a more popular option in rural areas?

And how many home-school 'teachers' have teaching degrees?

It seems too that a lot of the proponents have a religious agenda to push (usually very conservative, anti-government, etc.).

I don't think it's a good idea unless there is no other viable option. I don't see how it can help a child to isolate them or the parent (usually a mother).

It just doesn't seem to be socially healthy.

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I think a lot of the comments in the article are simplistic. Half of the warnings imply that homeschooling parents have to start fresh learning how to interact with, teach, and discipline their kids. Hello, parents are continuously teaching their kids anyway. By the time 5 years have passed, they know whether or not they want to continue being their kid's primary teacher or hand this off to someone else.

It's also simplistic about what schools have to offer. Yes, in some school systems, a parent can trust that the kid will have an intelligent, caring teacher who actually has time to notice his learning style; a social environment that actually reflects the diversity of society; opportunities to learn cooperation and teamwork; access to help for special needs; etc. But in many school districts, a child's school may be predominantly white / black / affluent / poor / spoiled / disruptive; what few good teachers are motivated to work in a not-so-great district may be too busy dealing with problem kids to give mainstream kids enough attention to make sure their "learning styles" are being targeted; the classroom may be so chaotic that little learning takes place; there may be few extracurricular activities that a particular child is interested (marching band and basketball aren't for everyone); and the teaching style may leave little room for developing healthy social and teamwork skills. So when the author points out these concerns with homeschooling, it should also be pointed out that the relevance of these concerns depends on the particular school that the child would have attended if his parents didn't home school, as well as the environment the parents provide. There is also little discussion of the resources available to get home-schooled kids together for the specific purpose of learning teamwork and developing social skills. Yes, a home-schooling parent has to make special efforts to do this, but the same is generally true of public school parents.

If you actually sit and watch a typical classroom all day, you will see that even in a good one, a significant amount of time is spent not learning, not moving, not socializing, not doing much of anything. Suppose a child is away from home seven hours a day for school. Probably only four hours, at best, is actually spent on activities that develop the mind, body, or social skills. The other three hours (at least) could be put to better use in healthy play, further study and exploration, more exposure to the outside world, helping with younger siblings, etc.

The aspect of values is important too. The schools have decided to spend a greater and greater amount of time teaching our children what they should think about social and political issues, and frankly, they tend to lean to the left. At the same time, any discussion that is remotely related to spirituality or religion, even if initiated by a child, is prohibited. Many parents are uncomfortable with one or both of these realities. If the schools are at least neutral, it should be enough for parents to speak to their children at home and model the values they want their children to observe. But when schools continuously add left-leaning propoganda to their curricula, this becomes more and more difficult to counter at home - particularly since the schools teach these views as "fact" and the parents usually don't even know what's being taught. I think this is a legitimate concern for parents, especially those who are more conservative (or liberal) than the general community they live in (since that influences how far schools will go with propoganda). The author of the article blows this off as if parents who care about their child's moral development are stupid.

Of course not every parent or child is cut out for home schooling. In addition, home schooling is a big investment in both time and potentially lost income. And depending on the school district, traditional school may offer many things that home schooling does not. In particular, if a child is home schooled, his parents must commit to provide healthy socializing opportunities. But I think that for many families, home schooling is clearly a better choice. There is a definite slant on the article - "bad idea" - which insults parents' intelligence as well as being very simplistic.

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Aaahh, I was wondering if this opinion piece would pop up here. Some of the points are valid, but were presented in such improper light.

Anyone who is considering homeschooling (and that should be every parent) should take a long hard look at what homeschooling entails. They should go out and meet homeschoolers of all types. They should keep in mind that homeschooling does not mean that Mom has to become the teacher and run her homeschool like an institutionalized school. It's just not necessary for such personalized education, nor is it advisable.

Nancy, you're buying into the stereotypes (which the school systems would love!) of homeschoolers. You'd be amazed at the diversity of homeschoolers. I think I have more religion-less homeschooling friends than I do religious ones....and I'm religious!

Not many homeschoolers in your city? Bet there are (if you're in the US)...it's just that they don't look like the 'socially challenged' people that you expect them to be.

You really don't need a degree to teach your own children. Are you good at anything that you didn't go to college to learn? Homeschooling parents learn so much as they go. If a person expects to know everything before getting started, s/he'll be seriously surprised. Many a homeschooling mom has been hindered by her professional education training. What works wonders in a classroom can very well be disastrous at home. Of course, many teachers have no problems transitioning to the home environment.

Homeschooling can be very isolating, but it isn't hard to counter this. It's worth mentioning just so that people can watch out for it and take steps to get the appropriate social contact that they and their children need.

I would counter that it's not socially healthy to put introverts into the traditional school environment. They are pushed to act contrary to their nature and don't function well in crowds.

Homeschooling is definitely not for everyone, but it's certainly not reserved for a very few.

This piece just took all of the stereotypes (and a few of the benefits) and presented them as problems without solutions. That doesn't surprise me and neither does the fact that many people will just nod and agree.

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Well, Nancy, it seems like a lot of people you've made a lot of generalizations about homeschool without really looking into the subject. That's understandable, but also a little bit sad.

I am not officially homeschooling yet, as my boys aren't yet school age, but plan on it, at least through 8th grade. There isn't enough room here for me to go into all my reasons, but let me say that I am not a religious person (agnostic, married to an atheist), and have no intention of isolating my children. We don't live in a rural area, although it's not exactly urban either. My husband is highly educated - a Ph.D. - and a college professor. Our only "agenda" is to provide our children with the best possible education and experience we can.

That said, I would never try to push homeschooling on anyone else. I certainly don't think it's for everyone, and have no illusions that it will be easy or that I won't, at times, feel isolated. However, one of the big draws for me is the freedom that comes with it, and not being bound by a schedule dictated to us by the local school system. Rather than being isolated and bound to the same classroom of 20 kids and 3 or 4 teachers that public school kids get every day for 9 months, we will be able to travel when our schedule allows and be exposed to a much wider variety of people and experiences. I don't foresee any real isolation in the future for me or my children.

If there were an ideal school available to us, I might consider it an option. As it stands, however, the public schools, from the way things are taught to the food that is served to the advertising children are subjected to in the schools to the hours wasted every day in getting kids shuffled around to where they need to be, are far from ideal. Private school for 2 kids is out of our range financially, even if there were an acceptable option available (the only ones nearby I am aware of are of various Christian denominations, so there is the religious agenda at work in education). My husband's profession does not allow us to just up and move to a different area with better schools, and this area is ideal for us in nearly every other way we can imagine, and we love it here. So that leaves us with homeschooling as the best option.

I don't believe I'll change anyone's mind, but I would like to help dispel some myths and open people's minds some. Homeschooling is not solely for Christian fundamentalist, libertarian, crunchy parents who wish to isolate their children or indoctrinate them with a particular viewpoint. We are about as far from that stereotype as you can get.

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Actually I am surprised the article listed socialization as #8. Most educators, even me as my year stint as a graduate fellow, would argue that is the number one reason for putting kids in schools. Unsocialized kids are more then awkward, they are hard to have a co-workers. They are un-nuanced in different cultures and different ways of seeing the world. No one can tell me that reading about or seeing documentaries about other cultures and other people then ones own family or a chosen few makes a person socialized. You have to play with folks other then your own.

Play means you have to figure out how to work with that other person, and communicate with them. I don't care if you use the speak the same language, that is different from using the same language. Growing up in Southeast Alaska and going to undergrad at the University of Alaska Fairbanks (as well as SUNY too) made me very aware of the many different cultural interpretations of the same word and same action. I am not saying I am highly socialized, I am rather introverted for that, but I have a deeper understanding then most because of that.

And as for introverts not getting anything out of being forced into social situations? What the? I will tell you the best way to give an introvert the skills they need to be successful is by putting them in situations where they need in interact with other people. Shyness can be overcome by deliberate and supportive parenting in coaching your kid to participate in life. This includes school, play dates don't count. A club does not count. Having to interact with the same folks all week long with different interests then your own works.

The only time I really have seen home schooling as being a viable option is if your family lives in the bush and getting the kid to school means 50 miles on the back of a snow machine. Anything easier then that is a cop out. Trust me, you don't want your kids to be like the ones I have met in my life.

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While we are a couple of years away from making a final decision, homeschooling seems to be the best decision for our family. What cinched it was talking with one homeschooling mother of four. She explained that her son *loves* history. The curriculum she chose to use for that whole year was completed in TWO weeks. That made me realize that more than anything, it is so important to me that my son (and any future children) have a love for learning. I do not want any obstacles get in the way of that.

Also, I'm concerned about the textbooks chosen for public schools which are usually heavily biased and show the white man's superior view. I definitely do not want my children to learn lies about historical events. Instead of battling it with the schools to change their textbooks, etc, I figured it would be better for me to teach them what I want them to learn. At the same time, I can teach them skills that apply to real-life scenarios. No one is learning how to balance a paycheck or do the budgeting in public school before they graduate from high school. There are so many skills that children need to learn before they go out in the real world.

Socialization is a non-issue. With me being a college professor and a member of the Deaf community, my son interacts with a variety of people on almost a daily basis. On top of that, we go to playgroup, Open Gym at a nearby school, etc. We will continue with that along with joining homeschooling groups, attending community events and joining sport teams (if that's what he is interested in doing). Instead of socializing with the same people every single day, my son will be less likely to be a target for bullying. That's another concern of mine with public schools: how bullying is very prevalent and how some schools are not taking it seriously.

And the cherry on top is that since American Sign Language is the language that my family uses, I want my son to grow up fluent in the language. I want to pass down stories and jokes to him. When I homeschool him, I will be incorporating an ASL curriculum so that he can be fully bilingual by studying literature in both English and ASL.

I do agree with the article that homeschooling is not for everyone but it *is* an option to anyone, regardless of background, education experience, etc.

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It's always interesting when some are against the public schools because they lean too far "left" and others because they present a "warped" view of history.

I lean toward the "warped" view of history myself and do my best to correct the misconceptions at home. In a way, that's homeschooling - filling in the gaps.

I don't home school but I've met several fine parents who do; several of them right here at this site. It's their choice as it's mine to opt for the public school system in spite of its flaws.

I can see both points of view but for myself, I'd prefer my kids to know about the real world, warts and all. The homeschooling parents I've become online friends with do all that in addition to their work with kids and textbooks. Their kids are well rounded and well educated, and the parents take pains to ensure a social life and extracurricular activity.

Others prefer to raise their kids in a bubble. No matter how I might feel about it, it's their right.

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I've got to say that I am finding the constant picking on homeschoolers very tiresome. Kristin is at least the third blogger on this site to either directly or indirectly slam homeschooling recently. Every discussion ends up bringing out the same posters that post the same misinformed generalizations about homeschoolers. Perhaps a note should be put under ParentDish stating that only public and private school parents are welcome here.

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Hi Judy, and others,

Just because I don't know as much about homeschooling as you do shouldn't be 'sad'.

I'm sure there are a lot of topics you don't know about, does that make you sad?

I can't become an expert on every option for everything, but I can still have an opinion, based on my experiences or what I've heard or read.

I'm sure a lot of people feel that living in a large city is dangerous or whatever other negative adjective you'd care to insert, but I'm not going to get defensive about it.

Certainly one can get their opinion across without shouting down from their high horse.

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Nancy,

Using the same logic, is it ok for a woman who has not fully researched breastfeeding to tell others that nursing is gross and she would never do it?

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That article you linked has a dozen or more typos and grammatical errors in it. It's hard to take it seriously when it's a post on *education*. Wonder if the author was publicly/privately schooled or homeschooled?

It was also pretty superficial. Anyone who has seriously considered homeschooling has most likely looked at all of those items.

I'm considering homeschooling my son (who's currently two) when the time comes. I'm currently a high school science teacher, though, and I've always said that I *really* admire elementary teachers!

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Nancy, I think what people find sad about your post is that you are making declarations about homeschooling and you obviously don't know what you're talking about. Your post brings up several points that homeschoolers have gotten tired of having to answer. They're all kind of routine. Anyone who has done a little research on homeschooling should know these answers. They would also know that these questions don't even need to be asked.

I went back and re-read your comment. It's easier on the eyes the second time. I can now see that you were just asking some questions until the end. Without your last three sentences, your post would have been just fine/not aggressive. Your questions show that you don't know a lot about homeschooling (lack of knowledge is perfectly acceptable), but if you don't know much about something, making declarations like the ones ending your comment are irritating. Those three comments changed the tone of your questions from 'intrigued' to accusatory.

I hope that my comments (#3) helped to answer your questions.

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I have to agree with some of the other posters above that traditional school does NOT really provide the type of socialization that will lead to the social skills we'd like our kids to possess in adulthood.

Traditional elementary schools tend to reward / demand submissive behavior, which prepares kids for few professional or community leadership positions. Very little real socialization is allowed. Even on the playground (assuming they have any significant recess time), kids are just blowing off steam, not really teaming.

The school population is often more homogeneous than some posters seem to assume. Either it's mostly WASP, mostly black, or whatever, depending on the demographics that make up a particular neighborhood or school district. Those schools that are really well integrated and reflective of our society as a whole are the exception rather than the rule.

Kids are more likely to learn real-world social skills in out-of-school activities such as scouts, sports, group arts classes, and purely social activities sponsored by organizations other than schools. Also, and perhaps more so, from just playing with other kids, independent of adults, for extended periods. Traditional schools are too busy trying to manage large groups of kids and focusing on the curriculum to allow much truly healthy socializing.

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