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Filed under: Toddlers Preschoolers, Teens
A couple of weeks ago I got my hair cut. Not just trimmed, mind you, but really chopped of and heavily highlighted. I was going for a more Carrie Bradshaw look, but my chatty hairdresser had other things in my mind and the end result is something more akin to a hardcore soccer mom look. However, I am a soccer mom and the response from everybody has been so overwhelmingly positive that I can overlook that detail. Everybody, that is, except my two sons. They absolutely hate this change.
The day after I got the new do, I picked up my daughter, Cassidy and her brother Devon, my 37 month-old, from their father's house. Cass could not stop exclaiming her delight with my new short, blondish look. Devon, on the other hand, took one look, poked out his bottom lip and looked away. Once in the car, Cassidy asked me questions at a rapid fire speed about how long the process took, could she touch it, did I like it, etc. I finally got a chance to pose a question to Devon about whether or not he liked my new hair, "No! I no like you new, little hairs, Mai-Mai. I no like you white hairs." That was that. Devon didn't want to look at my hair, talk about it or touch it.
Later that night I picked up my oldest son, Loren who is almost 14, from a sleepover. He took one look at my head, stopped cold in his tracks and shuddered. "Why did you do that to your hair, Mom? What was wrong with your other hair? And why did you put all those white, streaky things in it?" I explained that I have a serious gray root issue, I needed a change, it felt fun and that I liked it. Loren looked out the window, sighed and then replied with a certain sort of heaviness, "Well, I guess it will grow back and everything will be okay then."
The differences in the reactions of my kids got me to wondering about males and females. Typically men prefer long, flowing locks on their female counterparts. My ex liked long hair and most of the males I know feel this way. Many of my female friends who have long hair will occasionally bemoan this fact and wish they could freely whack off their hair for a new breezy, sassy look without all heck breaking loose in their homes. And so with my two boys I have to wonder if their reactions were born into them, have they taken cues from their paternal figure or is it a societal thing?
The day after I got the new do, I picked up my daughter, Cassidy and her brother Devon, my 37 month-old, from their father's house. Cass could not stop exclaiming her delight with my new short, blondish look. Devon, on the other hand, took one look, poked out his bottom lip and looked away. Once in the car, Cassidy asked me questions at a rapid fire speed about how long the process took, could she touch it, did I like it, etc. I finally got a chance to pose a question to Devon about whether or not he liked my new hair, "No! I no like you new, little hairs, Mai-Mai. I no like you white hairs." That was that. Devon didn't want to look at my hair, talk about it or touch it.
Later that night I picked up my oldest son, Loren who is almost 14, from a sleepover. He took one look at my head, stopped cold in his tracks and shuddered. "Why did you do that to your hair, Mom? What was wrong with your other hair? And why did you put all those white, streaky things in it?" I explained that I have a serious gray root issue, I needed a change, it felt fun and that I liked it. Loren looked out the window, sighed and then replied with a certain sort of heaviness, "Well, I guess it will grow back and everything will be okay then."
The differences in the reactions of my kids got me to wondering about males and females. Typically men prefer long, flowing locks on their female counterparts. My ex liked long hair and most of the males I know feel this way. Many of my female friends who have long hair will occasionally bemoan this fact and wish they could freely whack off their hair for a new breezy, sassy look without all heck breaking loose in their homes. And so with my two boys I have to wonder if their reactions were born into them, have they taken cues from their paternal figure or is it a societal thing?
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
4-16-2007 @ 12:14PM
annie said...37-month old? I'm sorry, but you can't just say 3-year-old? This reminds me of a cartoon where a mother is with her daughter and telling someone else, "She's 423 months old now."
Reply
4-16-2007 @ 10:56AM
Trisha said...I have been recently debating going for a super short do- I mean SHORT, long bangs and boyish cut around back. I have long wavy/curly brown hair and I know my hubby likes my hair long. He's being sweet to be supportive if I do want to do it, but has a little bit of a sad look when I bring it up. I still can't make up my mind to go ahead with it.
Anyway- I hope your two boys warm up to your new cut, it sounds awesome!
Reply
4-16-2007 @ 5:50PM
Heather said...My oldest (he is 94 months) would probably be shocked if I cut of my long brunette hair and came home with short light hair too. I don;t think your kids hate it. Its just that they are simply not used to it. Don;t worry they will learn to like their "new" mommy.
Reply
4-16-2007 @ 12:37PM
Mammacheryl said...My father was the long-hair-only type when it came to my sister's hair. So in the mid-'80s, my sister got a mullet. A short, boy cut on top, but long hair in the back. Everyone was happy (except anyone who has to look back on such a horrific style in her gradeschool pictures). For some reason, he didn't care about my hair that much, and I got my first chin-length bob when I was in third grade.
My husband used to think that women only looked good in long hair, but then again, his mother has a permed mullet. So what kind of example did she set for him? For about a year in our marriage, I let my hair grow out until it was down to my shoulders. But I'm overweight, and my hair is ridiculously thick and wavy, and the style made me look awful. So I got it chopped off to a boy cut again. I didn't give him a choice, and he said, after a few hours of stunned silence, that it looked nice. I'll never go back.
I think that in a few generations, there might not be this issue when our sons and their sons have gotten used to the freedom women have now to have short hair and look good with it.
Reply
4-16-2007 @ 12:53PM
Amy said...I remember when my son was about 4 and I got my hair in a loose perm. It had been straight. My son is mildly autistic.
I walked in the kitchen door from my appointment and he screamed. He hid under the kitchen table for 2 hours and kept saying "take it back, take it back, I don't like it, you aren't Mommy". I felt horrible and spent those hours on the floor talking to him, having his father talk to him and reassure him that I was still Mommy. After that, I always made sure to warn him before I change my hairstyle or color!
Reply
4-16-2007 @ 1:01PM
Franny said...When I met my boyfriend my hair was halfway down my back, and a week after we got together I chopped it off above the shoulders.
I debated what I thought his reaction would be, but now he frequently tells me that he likes the shorter hair and that I shouldn't let it grow back out.
Speaking of... I think it's time to go get a trim.
Reply
4-16-2007 @ 1:03PM
Franny said...And the point of that was to say that I think guys are beginning to accept the shorter hair, or whatever style seems to work best for women.
Reply
4-16-2007 @ 2:07PM
Ann Adams said...I'm sure your boys will become accustomed to the new look.
As for me, my reaction has always been that it's my head and my hair.
Reply
4-18-2007 @ 4:20PM
peaceluvinmommy said...My son just turned three and I have always had waist length, brown, wavy hair. I recently had the "cut it bug" and instead of commiting to a complete cut, I cut bangs (kinda Anne Hathaway-ish). My son was FURIOUS with me. He tells me I am a different mommy and wouldn't look at me at first. So I did something different to his hair. I used super sticky gel and gave him spikes! I said "You are different Simeon!" I think it helped him to understand that I am the same, but different.
Reply
4-16-2007 @ 5:00PM
Holmes said...I dunno, I think women can look great with any length of hair. Hell, I even find some bald women attractive, but maybe I'm the weirdo.
Reply
4-16-2007 @ 5:35PM
Dawn said...Um, yeah, I'm still laughing over that "37 month old" thing. LOL At what point do you think you'll start saying he's 3 years old? (roflmao!)
Reply
4-17-2007 @ 9:40AM
pbhj said...perhaps "Loren" is trying to get you back for giving him a girls name?
Reply
4-16-2007 @ 7:38PM
SKL said...I have long hair because I look like a boy in short hair. (Exactly like my brothers, actually.) When I tutored in a Chapter 1 reading room, the teacher had the kids make me thank-you cards at the end of the year. A surprising percentage spontaneously added, "I like your hair." And younger kids always seem to be fascinated by my hair. I think a lot of kids (boys and girls) like long hair on motherly types.
And I agree that a lot of men really like it too. My mom's MIL also loved that my mom's hair was so long. I do think it looks more feminine and less independent. But it's also more attractive on many of us.
Reply
4-16-2007 @ 8:54PM
Ann Adams said...Loren is a girl's name?
I'm not sure what the problem is with your saying 37 months. Barely 3 is much different from almost 4.
Reply
4-16-2007 @ 10:02PM
Heather said...My bad on the whole month thing. Devon is actually 25 months-old. Sure, I could just suck it up and say 2 1/2, but after typing that over and over, month after month sometimes I spice it up a tad with the month aspect.
Lauren is a girl's name. Loren is the masculine. Sort of like, Paul/Pauline, Adrien/Adrienne, Alexander/Alexandra. We thought the nation was already riddled with enough Michael's and Aiden's so we got kooky and named the kid Loren. Likely there are much harsher weights for a kid to carry.
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