Alec Baldwin curses out his daughter's voicemail

by Roger Sinasohn (Subscribe to Roger Sinasohn's posts) Apr 20th 2007 1:04PM

Categories: Just For Dads, Love & Sex, Divorce & Custody, Celeb Parenting

Goodness knows, I get angry enough at my kids, often enough. I have definitely been known to holler at them too. That's usually, however, limited to "Get yer butt on the stairs, noo!" (for some reason, my scots accent comes out then.) But while I can understand actor Alec Baldwin's frustration with his pre-teen daughter and his visitation situation, it sure seems to me like he goes a mite overboard in the recording he purportedly left on her voicemail.

According to the website TMZ, which somehow got a copy of it, the message includes bits where he tells her "You are a rude, thoughtless little pig" and "I'm gonna straighten your ass out when I see you." He also tells her, speaking of an upcoming visit, that "I'm gonna let you know just how disappointed in you I am and how angry I am with you that you've done this to me again." He shares his frustration and his feelings with her, saying "You've made me feel like sh*t and you've made me feel like a fool over and over again." He also insults her: "you don't have the brains or the decency as a human being..." and seems uncertain whether she is eleven or twelve years old.

Based on this tape, Los Angeles County Superior Court commissioner Maren Nelson has suspended Baldwin's visitation rights, including a visit scheduled for today and mentioned on the tape. A hearing is set for May 4th at which point the judge could permanently revoke his visitation rights. Now, while I've never been in such a situation, I have friends who are at odds with former spouses and it does seem entirely possible that the frustration over visitation issues could cause someone to get this angry.

The thing is, that anger should not be directed at the kids. So, on the one hand, what Baldwin said doesn't seem all that terrible, (and I've certainly heard worse from parents,) but it does seem extremely inappropriate. What do you think? Is he just an upset, frustrated parent or is he out of control and shouldn't be allowed to see his daughter?

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Comments (12)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Ginny 4-20-2007 @ 1:15PM

Another nominee for "Father of the Year"???

He's a rude, thoughtless, pig himself! It sounds like he's angry at Kim but is taking it out on the child. Sad stuff.

travelmama 4-20-2007 @ 1:42PM

I don't think he was out of line at all. But the thing is too, we don't know what the daughter's place in all of this. If she is, as many 11-year olds can be, wise enough to be a wiseass and make herself unavailable for what seem to be very important phone calls to her father, then I think he is right to feel neglected and mistreated, and right for saying so, and I don't think his language was SO over the top - he cursed, so what? He didn't call her a curse word and he didn't threaten to harm her, he sounded as angry as many parents get when they feel disrespected. So many dads get lambasted for not being available enough or being around enough and it appears he tries to drop whatever he is doing for these phone calls. Apparently from his message it is not the first time that he has done so only to find her unavailable. So he has a right to be angry. If, though, he thinks that the mother has any hand in making the daughter unavailable, he needs to take it up with her (or the courts). Unfortunately, it may be that the mother has a hand in that she has subtly been poisoning the girl's mind against her father.

At the end of the day, the worst thing about this is that it was made public. I don't think he said anything that is going to traumatize Ireland in the short run, but I think his venting comes from years of frustration with the whole situation, and that whole longterm drama can't be healthy for any of the parties involved. This is but a minor symptom of a bigger problem.

Judy 4-20-2007 @ 1:59PM

I'll admit I didn't listen to the whole thing - my son came in and I wasn't sure it was okay for a 3 yo to hear.

But, having seen what my husband has gone through with his 9-year-old daughter, and the agreements between he and his ex about when he should call, and the fact that he calls at the exact. same. time. every week - at the time her mom said would be best for him to call - and still no one answers the phone, I can certainly understand Baldwin's frustration.

Did he handle it appropriately? No, probably not, but there really is no "appropriate" way to handle it. A judge will retroactively say that the custodial parent should have been sure to facilitate phone communication, but then that parent will continue the same behavior. A non-custodial parent (and I am also one, so I understand) is helpless in so many ways.

The child should not be the one to suffer because of it, but when a custodial parent chooses to try to limit the other parent's involvement, then the child is inevitably the one who suffers the most no matter what.

Diane 4-20-2007 @ 2:09PM

I agree with travelmama that his frustration and anger may very well be justified. I also agree that it is totally appropriate that he tell her how he feels about the way she is treating him. I disagree, however, with the way he did it. I thought his language was inappropriate. Is it the worse thing that he cursed at an 11 year old? No, but that doesn't mean it's okay. I feel it was inappropriate for him to call her any names, whether he called her a curse word, or not. I also got the impression, after listening to the tape, that he was threatening to harm her when he visited. It wasn't stated out right, but in my opinion, it was implied. It is that implication that, I think, made the suspension of visitation rights the correct course of action. It has been alleged that Alec Baldwin has anger management issues, and after listening to that tape, I would have to agree.

Marcia 4-20-2007 @ 2:58PM

The only reason this is an issue is because he's a celebrity. Although I don't agree with leaving a message such as that, it's understandable. Custody situations are very difficult especially for the parent with the lesser visitation rights over the child(ren) involved. When my uncle can't get his 3 girls on the days he is supposed to, whether because their mom has them somewhere or they decided they'd rather go to a friends house, you better believe he says things a million times worse.

san 4-20-2007 @ 3:20PM

We have a daughter that age. She is strictly MC or UMC, non-celebrity; none of the self-absorption-generating environment that might go along with being Baldwin's daughter. We are having some likely slightly amplified but age-appropriate discipline and selfishness issues for a girl her age. Baldwin is a-okay just fine with me.

Sometimes you have to call a rude, thoughtless little pig a rude, thoughtless little pig. And if I had a dollar for every time I was told by a parent they were going to straighten my ass out, I'd just buy this country and I run it the way I see fit. I have, like many of us, some conflict and adulthood fallout from my childhood, but none of it has a bit to do with being told I'd have my ass straightened out -- which did, I could admit even then, need straightening out over whatever issue was at hand.

That's something about kids today that is different from when I was a child. Today, kids don't see that they are wrong, out of line, and this is what has brought down the wrath of the parent. They think they're just fine and their parents are jerks and horrible Gestapo for disciplining them or yelling at them. We knew we'd done something wrong. We knew what was coming.

And that LA Superior Court Commissioner, Maren Nelson: a yo-yo of the first order. That's an offense to family law to suspend visitation rights over a parent verbally chastising a child to the harsh but hardly destructive degree Baldwin did.

Any of you disagreeing, enjoy your drug-addicted, pregnant, runaway teen daughters. It'll be a blast. FOX "News" is going nuts over this: that should tell you something right there.

Desiree 4-20-2007 @ 3:58PM

lmao, ita with what "San" said!

Megan 4-20-2007 @ 4:47PM

I agree that the only reason this is news is that Baldwin is a celebrity. Plenty of parents say stuff like this all the time. They shouldn't, but they lose their temper and do.

I wish that the media would explore a different angle: did Kim leak the tape to embarrass her husband just as his career is reigniting? If so, that is a far worse offense in my mind. This was a private conversation. What daughter would want the world to know that her father has called her a selfish pig? If Kim leaked the tape without her daughter's consent, that is unforgivable and should be a basis for reexamining HER custody rights.

Christine 4-20-2007 @ 5:18PM

I agree with Megan.

san 4-20-2007 @ 6:01PM

The ex-wife leak is possible, but just as likely a scenario is that the tape was submitted by plaintiff's counsel in support of a temporary suspension of visitation rights and supporting a motion for a future hearing on permanent cessation of visitation, and some worthless, sleazy court clerk leaked the tape -- which is not public record until entered into evidence in a formal hearing; and as I recall family court proceedings are not nearly as public by default as other civil or criminal proceedings -- leaked it to the highest bidder, or merely for the notoriety or sense of power.

And some Web site which is not the fourth estate but pretends to it took something for news that is indeed not actual news, and now of course all the allegedly legitimate press outlets have to pick it up -- no doubt paying this Web site for usage rights to a property that is not theirs to license -- so they don't feel like they missed the boat when NBC or FOX or ABC or CNN or whoever besides themselves defies all reason in the assessment of journalistic integrity and broadcasts the tape. So now it's everywhere.

What's funny is most people aren't complaining about the broadcast of this Baldwin tape, not news, not even presently public record, and definitely a private family matter, but they are complaining about the broadcast of this video tape made by the Virginia Tech mass murderer, which is news. Ugly, awful, something I would recommend that those close to the victims not watch if it will upset them more than help provide them with some sort of answer, but surely it's news.

SKL 4-20-2007 @ 9:33PM

I guess I should have been removed from my mom's custody at least a thousand times, if that little bit of talking-to is considered harmful.

T 4-23-2007 @ 11:26AM

I thought the message was inappropriate - at least without context. If Baldwin has ever been physically abusive to his daughter, this message was clearly threatening more physical abuse. If he had never been, then it wasn't threatening, but he clearly lost control.

I don't have an 11 year old, and I've never dealt with these issues, but I don't believe, or at least I hope, that I will never have to call my child a rude and thoughtless little pig who doesn't have the brains to answer the phone.

But the best laid plans....

I wonder if Sprout will pull the Baldwin narrated episodes of Thomas the Tank engine? They yanked the last host for far less in my opinion...

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