Father Loses 2 Young Children In Tornado
Why It's Hard To Get Along With Your In-Laws
Stalking common on college campuses
Filed under: Just For Moms, Health & Safety: Babies, Day Care & Education
Since the Virginia Tech shootings, I have been quietly worrying myself into a panic. My daughter Christy attends college across town, but that fact alone isn't what is keeping me up nights. You see, all her life Christy has been in the habit of befriending the friendless. As a child, her heart would go out to the kid nobody else liked. The shy boy standing on the edge of the field instead of playing with the other kids. The girl with frizzy red hair and glasses who was ostracized just for looking so different. The sight of these children moved something in her and she felt compelled to draw them out and include them. I was proud of her for this.
However, as Christy grows older and continues to collect strays, I am worried about it. Bringing home odd little 7-year-old children is one thing. But this past Christmas, when she showed up for dinner with an strange 25-year-old boy who refused to make eye contact with me, I felt uneasy. I wanted to like this boy, but I couldn't get past the fact that he totally creeped me out. There was something off about him and it scared me that she was spending time with him.
Long story short, the boy is disturbed and Christy is now afraid of him. She's broken off all contact, but still sees him on campus and sometimes in places where he has no business being. He has given her a reason to be scared, and Christy has alerted campus security about her concerns.
An article in USA Today talks about how common stalking has become on college campuses. A national survey published in 2000 found that 13% of women in college say they have been stalked.
"Stalking is definitely a problem on college campuses," says Alison Kiss, program director for the non-profit group Security on Campus. "And it usually escalates, just like dating violence."
Christy's former friend hasn't done anything illegal. But that boy who murdered all those people at Virginia Tech was a known stalker, too. And that is what keeps me awake at night.
However, as Christy grows older and continues to collect strays, I am worried about it. Bringing home odd little 7-year-old children is one thing. But this past Christmas, when she showed up for dinner with an strange 25-year-old boy who refused to make eye contact with me, I felt uneasy. I wanted to like this boy, but I couldn't get past the fact that he totally creeped me out. There was something off about him and it scared me that she was spending time with him.
Long story short, the boy is disturbed and Christy is now afraid of him. She's broken off all contact, but still sees him on campus and sometimes in places where he has no business being. He has given her a reason to be scared, and Christy has alerted campus security about her concerns.
An article in USA Today talks about how common stalking has become on college campuses. A national survey published in 2000 found that 13% of women in college say they have been stalked.
"Stalking is definitely a problem on college campuses," says Alison Kiss, program director for the non-profit group Security on Campus. "And it usually escalates, just like dating violence."
Christy's former friend hasn't done anything illegal. But that boy who murdered all those people at Virginia Tech was a known stalker, too. And that is what keeps me awake at night.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
4-28-2007 @ 3:19PM
Michelle said...I had a stalker in college, too. It was very scary and he knew things about my family(like my Mom worked evenings, my Dad traveled a lot and my little sister was often home alone in the evenings)He knew what the inside of my dorm room looked like, where I worked(he showed up quite a few times) and he called my constantly. What was even scarier was that he was stalking several of my friends who attended another college an hour and a half away from my school and that he had presumably seen us at a High School football game our freshman year. So he apparently had been following us and learning about us all through high school. He did not go to the same school.
This was before stalking laws became stricter. I had to stand up directly beside him in front of a judge and he recieved 2 years probation. I couldn't put a wedding announcement or birth announcement in the paper for fear he would find me.
It is horrifying to spend your life constantly looking over your shoulder wondering if someone is watching you. Now I live in a different state and it is my ex-husband I am constantly looking out for. Luckily, I married a cop the second time around!
Reply
4-28-2007 @ 8:46PM
Ethel said...You should be afraid. A cohort of mine who we competed together in Academic Decathalon, started the same year and lived in the same dorm was violated and shot in one of our campus dorm bathrooms on April 26, 1993. Her name was Sophie Sergie and she was a great woman who to my mind was one day going to be a great woman in Alaska. Instead someone with a gun in the dorms decided she was a prey item to be used and discarded.
UAF changed its practices after that - no one in dorms without residency or signed in escort, guns had to be locked up and reported (its Alaska, some students hunt and trap while taking classes). Campus got another armed officer as well, but it was a little late for Sophie. Stalking and predator behavior is a real issue for women who are newly living on their own. College women are vulnerable, and predators know that. Any woman at college or freshly away from home should be cautious, it is not nice but maybe needed.
Reply
4-29-2007 @ 1:45PM
Miss said...Out come the fearmongerers.
Reply