I don't know why how we choose to feed our infants has become such a sensitive, divisive, political issue. It's one of Those Things, though, that draws lines between parents. Maybe it has to do mostly with our own insecurities: many of us are trying so hard to do everything exactly right, that we tend to put down all other ways of going about it. Maybe the people who are the loudest about criticizing other parenting styles are feeling unsure about their own. Because really, as a therapist I went to once said to me when I was lamenting about what someone else was doing: What's it to ya, bud?

I breastfed all my kids. I started in October of 1996 when Alex was born, and I nursed during four other pregnancies. It was like the old side out, rotate volleyball move: Alex kept nursing during my pregnancy with Nathan, and I tandem nursed Alex and Nathan through a pregnancy that didn't make it (it was a blighted ovum, before you go and blame the miscarriage on nursing) and through my pregnancy with Sophia. I weaned Alex before Soph was born, and then was back to nursing two kids. I weaned Nathan during my pregnancy with Willow, and then tandem nursed the girls. After Sophia was weaned, I continued nursing Willow until the summer of 2006. I breastfed for nearly ten years without any breaks.

Why would she do that? you may be thinking.

Honestly, I didn't plan it that way: that was just how things unfolded. When I was in high school, a friend told me that her mom had nursed her until she was four years old. Ewwwww, I thought, how hippy is that? And, there I was, a little over ten years later, weaning my four-year-old son. (He is fine, by the way. Well adjusted, very social, happy and "normal.") I don't think that every mother should do things just like I did. I think if you nurse your baby you are making a wonderful choice, and I'd be happy to give you advice, support, a sympathetic ear -- but I don't think it's the only way to nourish an infant.

Now, if the me who was still a fairly new mom heard this older version of me saying that, she'd have been aghast. I was pretty sure for a long while that nursing was right and not nursing was, well, bad. My cousin's wife who bottlefed so she could "go out to the movies and stuff," brought out the judgemental worst in me. I wasn't able to see that perhaps her baby would have a happier and more secure childhood if her mom was doing what made her the most comfortable. Are babies who are breastfed by mothers who resent or are very uncomfortable with it really better off than those who are formula fed? Who can say?

When I was working away from home when Alex was an infant, I spent more mornings than not half dressed and sobbing because I wasn't able to pump enough milk before I went to work. Then I'd spend my lunch hour stressed out and pumping what I could, before racing over to the babysitter's to deliver more milk for the afternoon. I think everyone would've had less stress if I'd just given the baby some similac every now and then. And, I probably would have had more success pumping if I could relax a little knowing enfamil had my back.

Speaking squarely from my own experience, I can say this: if you can nurse your baby and if it feels right to you, you should really give it a try. It isn't easy at first (unless you are very lucky), and it can be painful, from the cracked nipples to the biting to the thrush that feels like a severe sunburn. It can muck up your sex life, depending on how comfortable you and your partner are with it. And, when your child gets to the age where she wants to look around, going to the movies (or other places) can get tricky if you aren't interested in flashing the general public, at least occasionally. But, for me the benefits far outweighed the price of admission. I didn't have to buy or prepare formula, sterilize bottles, or figure out which brand or type of formula to use. I got to get close, skin to skin cuddling time with all my kids, and whenever they were hungry I got to put my feet up and rest while they nursed. I was confident that my babies were getting nutrition that was perfect for them, and I really benefited from that feeling of knowing that my body was what was helping them grow. A nursing break will usually stop toddler tantrums and is perfect for skinned knees, bumped heads, and hurt feelings.

I will always be glad that I chose to nurse my children, but I'm way past over looking down my nose at moms who use bottles. (Except for the ones who fill them with soda -- that is just plain wrong!)