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Accidents happen, but preferably with mom

by Jonathon Morgan (Subscribe to Jonathon Morgan's posts)
May 15th 2007 9:29AM

10Comments

The most phenomenal invention mankind ever bestowed upon my childhood was a Slip N' Slide. For those of you who don't know, this simple-yet-elegant masterpiece of modern design involved attaching a hose to a long strip of plastic, which -- when doused in water -- became very fun to slip and/or slide on.

Not only did this totally kick ass, but -- at least for me -- it was synonymous with the long, carefree days of summer.

So now that it's 90 degrees in Austin, I figured it was about time to introduce my offspring to the joy that is careening down a wet piece of plastic. Edan loves the water, and she's a little daredevil, so I figured it'd be right up her street. Never mind that the box says "for 5 and up" -- whoever decided that clearly doesn't know my child.

Well, apparently they do a little bit. As it turns out, 3-year-olds aren't quite coordinated enough to run, jump and slide on their own. Whatever.

Undaunted, I decided to help. If she couldn't do it herself, I figured I could just toss Edan down the slide to achieve the same effect. I'm a pretty big guy, she's a fairly small child, this shouldn't be a problem.

However, I failed to take into consideration that little kids in bathing suits are also slippery when wet. This led to a minor mishap that may or may not have left a large, red grass burn on her shoulder (that, at first, looked alarmingly like a battle wound).

In all honesty, I think it's kinda cool with kids get small scrapes, scratches and bruises from running around the playground, or roughhousing, or anything that seems like good clean fun. But I hate, hate when it happens while I'm the presiding responsible adult. Not so much because I think there's anything wrong with it -- accidents happen, blah blah -- but more because I never know quite how to explain it to the other parent(s) I report to.

I always feel like "she's done [something precarious] before, and nothing happened, so I figured it'd be cool" isn't a good enough excuse, but I also feel uncomfortable making something up. Dog attack, exploding tricycle, runaway kite, disturbingly aggressive 5-year-old -- it's hard to strike to the balance between injury-inducing and flat-out absurd.

It seems like in normal households, each parent gets a handful of "get out of jail free cards." So when you're having an off day, or the kid's completely insane, you're not really accountable when they stick their hand in a cactus (which has never happened at our house). Is this true? Because I feel ultra-accountable. Not that Edan's mom reports me to Child Protective Services every time I drop her off covered in band-aids -- she almost always responds simply with "Oh."

But there's judgment in that "oh" -- I can feel it.

Therefore -- and please don't hate me for saying this -- I'm always slightly relieved when Edan comes over with a minor injury. Not that I would ever wish any pain upon my child, but truth be told, at least it didn't happen on my watch. Plus, the added benefit is that I look like a better parent in comparison -- because if it can happen with mom it must mean it's OK. Or at least it means there's no passing judgment if the same thing happens with me.

However, as much I worry, I can't bring myself to hover over Edan's every move, or restrict our activities to padded rooms. I don't want her to miss out on anything -- ever, at all. And certainly not because I'm worried about what someone else thinks of my parenting -- even when that someone else is her mom.

Because -- bruises and all -- it just wouldn't be summer without a Slip N' Slide.

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