Sharon Stone Sued By Former Nanny
Helicopter parents hover over kids' job search
Filed under: Just For Moms, Just For Dads, Development/Milestones: Babies, Day Care & Education
Many years ago, Christy landed her first after school job. She was about sixteen years old and was hired by a local fast-food restaurant. She got this job on her own, but when it came time to leave, she didn't know how to handle it. The boss treated the employees badly and she was miserable. She wanted to quit, but was afraid to do it. So, I did what any good helicopter parent would do: I called him up and quit on her behalf. I swear, that really was the only time I ever involved myself in Christy's employment. According to this article in USA Today, not all parents are willing to stand back and let their young adult children fend for themselves in the work world. These 'helicopter parents' who have been supervising and managing every detail of their child's life for years are finding it difficult to back off now that their young adult is entering the workforce.
Employers say that some parents actually contact their child's prospective employer to negotiate salaries and benefits. They show up at job fairs and insert themselves into the hiring process. This is so common that some companies have had to train their recruiters and hiring managers on how to deal with these parents.
Of course, this parental involvement can backfire. I know I would hesitate to hire someone who came as a package deal with an overbearing parent. It certainly gives the impression that the kid can't handle things independently.
Christy may have let me quit that job for her, but at least she was embarrassed by it. According to Betty Smith, a university recruiting manager at HP, this Generation Y is not embarrassed by it. I guess they are used to the interference by now and don't know how ridiculous it is to have your parents call your boss.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
5-16-2007 @ 3:14PM
Mammacheryl said...When I was in high school, my parents were blessedly removed from my work life. They encouraged me to get a part-time job, but I was allowed to go where I wanted. As a result, I've worked a lot of different jobs, finding a certain amount of bliss at each one. The best result, though, was when I decided that I wanted to take college courses to become a certified nursing assistant when I was sixteen "because I could" and it would be more fulfilling than making sub sandwiches. They never would have thought of it, but because I was in charge of figuring out where I wanted to work, I was able to flex my imagination and come up with new opportunities.
I know for a fact that if my parents had been involved in the hiring process at all for my first job out of college, I wouldn't have gotten the job. Employers should want to hire self-sufficient ADULTS, not overgrown teenagers who can't negotiate life for themselves.
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5-16-2007 @ 3:52PM
Ann Adams said...I had help securing my first office job. My mother had a friend who needed someone. She stepped back after that. I did fine on my own.
I wonder what my Army son would have done if I'd called his drill sergeant and told him to stop picking on my kid.
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5-16-2007 @ 6:02PM
kat said...one of my very first jobs was working for my mom answering phones and stuffing envelopes. fun! i landed a job in high school working as an editor and doing voiceover translations for a korean-american website because the company was renting space in my mom's office building. and of course it was my mom who arranged the job for me. that was the only time she did her hovering and i guess now i'm grateful since it was a good add to my resume and made for good talking points back then. but i can't imagine her intervening more than that and i'm sure she wouldn't want to!
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5-16-2007 @ 8:35PM
Paula said...I would have been TOTALLY embarrassed and would have wanted to crawl under a rock if my parents had intervened in anyway in my jobs. My mom and dad were pretty good at standing back and giving advice where they thought I might need it but not getting involved.
This "helicopter parenting" sounds like a control issue to me. i honestly don't see how these children will grow up to make competent decisions(sometimes)or screw up and learn from their mistakes on their own if mommy or daddy has to step in all the time
Ann I would imagine the drill sergent would have made hell look like paradise if you had told him to not pick on your son (my dad told me stories about guys who couldn't handle the rules and everyone got punished)
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5-16-2007 @ 9:28PM
SKL said...Why do today's parents believe their kids are less capable than yesterday's kids? Maybe the children of hovering parents ARE more helpless?
Parents need to step aside a lot sooner than age 16 if they expect their kids to exhibit age-appropriate maturity as young adults.
Do some parents think their kids are better off growing up more slowly? Or are they just ridiculously risk-averse control freaks when it comes to their kids? Could this be associated with the fact that so many parents have only one or two kids nowadays? I can't see my parents, with six kids, wanting us to take longer to grow up and become independent.
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