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Trophies for everyone!
Filed under: Big Kids, Activities: Babies
Some experts believe that awarding children trophies just for participating in sports can actually damage their self-esteem rather than improve it. They talk about increased narcissism and the idea that kids are growing up thinking they are special. There may or may not be something to that theory, but I can tell you that the trophy Ellie received this weekend just for showing up and playing made her very happy and proud.
When we went to dinner after this season's final soccer game, Ellie insisted on displaying her new trophy on the restaurant table. When the waiter was kind enough to ask about it, she proudly told him about the goal she scored in that game (her first and only of the season). The waiter went on to tell her how he, too, was a soccer player as a kid. The two of them had a short discussion about positions and plays and when he walked away, Ellie was beaming.
Maybe she didn't really deserve a trophy. She wasn't the star player and certainly didn't score the most goals. But that trophy, and the kind waiter's attention, made her feel like a real athlete and gave her just enough of a push to get off the fence about playing again this fall. She is excited about next season and is already planning where the trophy will go. What's wrong with that?
When we went to dinner after this season's final soccer game, Ellie insisted on displaying her new trophy on the restaurant table. When the waiter was kind enough to ask about it, she proudly told him about the goal she scored in that game (her first and only of the season). The waiter went on to tell her how he, too, was a soccer player as a kid. The two of them had a short discussion about positions and plays and when he walked away, Ellie was beaming.
Maybe she didn't really deserve a trophy. She wasn't the star player and certainly didn't score the most goals. But that trophy, and the kind waiter's attention, made her feel like a real athlete and gave her just enough of a push to get off the fence about playing again this fall. She is excited about next season and is already planning where the trophy will go. What's wrong with that?











ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
5-21-2007 @ 1:51PM
BabyLove77 said...There is way too much research about what can be damaging to kids theses days. From telling your kid they're smart to single parent homes. I'd like to think that with unconditional love and dedication to my child, she will grow up to be a well-rounded, happy, mentally stable adult. Making life desicions with her best interest at heart is realy the best thing that I can do for her right? After that if she turns out all screwy, then I'll still love her and support her unconditionally, just in different ways. I say all things in moderation (from food to praise to staying up late) is what children need. It is our jobs as parents to ready them for life in the real world, on their own. That's what I think about when I'm "teaching" her something.
So what if your child received a trophy just for showing up. If it makes her happy now, then what's the harm? I do feel that there comes a time when that should stop. Maybe when she is old enough to know the difference between winning a trophy and receiving a "fake" trophy.
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5-21-2007 @ 2:33PM
Ann Adams said...We have a trophy for each year that Elcie participated in the orthopedically challenged games.
She started at 3 years old and didn't miss a year through 5th grade when she aged out.
There will be plenty of time in her life for winners as losers. In those games, all those kids were winners.
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5-21-2007 @ 8:41PM
BadHairDad said...I agree that trophies are a good for young kids. I had another interesting experience with gender-specific trophies for a coed soccer team I coached. The league got the gender split wrong initially -- and readily fixed it -- but the reaction of my daughter to having been given a "boys" trophy was interesting.
Made me think a little bit about those traditional athletic figures on top of trophies. I think I now prefer trophies without figures of people ... no need for body shape to be involved .....
http://badhairdad.com/?p=79
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5-22-2007 @ 11:51AM
kate said...The swim team I participated on throughout my childhood gave every swimmer at the end of season banquet. The youngest kids always felt special and excited, but as we got older it sometimes seemed a little fake. There were kids aged 6 to 16. I think the only thing that helped maintain some real value was that there were two additional awards for each age level: Most Improved and Most Valuable Swimmer. They got bigger trophies.
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5-22-2007 @ 11:58AM
atmhockey said...We teach our kids right from wrong starting at around this age. We teach them how to and how not to act in public around this age. We begin to instill in them the values and morals we think are good for them at around this age. So why not the reality of winning and losing!? The best team gets the trophies. It makes the teams that don't get them try that much harder the next season. If everyone gets the prize, what is there left to strive for?
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5-22-2007 @ 12:12PM
Jessica said...Interestingly, I read an article yesterday about Gen X'ers and Y'ers needing more praise and attention that prior generations. Our generation, it appears, has a need to be praised for simple tasks once thoughtless, like showing up to work. If not praised, it stated, we leave our jobs to head for some employer who will stroke our ego's.
I wonder how much of this we are transferring to our children and what affect it will have on them in the future.
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5-22-2007 @ 6:31PM
Kirstie said...I've been involved in pop warner cheerleading for most of my life, both as a cheerleader and as a coach. This summer will be my tenth season. It's always been the policy that each participating child/teen gets a participation trophy. Especially as a little kid, it was always a big deal to get what usually amounted to a dinky plastic trophy (which got steadily smaller as the years went on, lol!). However, individual trophies were given to the MVPs, and medals given for a few various things - special items given to the "winners".
I'm all for participation trophies, but not at the expense of those who did really win. If there was a first, second, and third, then they deserve a special trophy for it.
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5-29-2007 @ 7:47PM
M4Mommy said...when I was younger we all got little white "ribbons" for "participating" in what ever team sport it was. Soccer, softball.. that kind of thing.
I competed mainly in horse back riding competitions. Horse shows. I worked HARD. I got there early and cleaned stalls and tack and horses and spent horus in the saddle getting it right. Those that worked harder got the higher places in the ribbons. I have quite a few blues and Champion ribbons from the "days of showing"
Now. Many shows give ALL the kids blue first place ribbons. Even if the other children seriously dont deserve it. How about how that makes the kids that DO deserve the true BLUE feel? It makes them feel like all the hard work they did means nothing. They see the other kids that come into the class late with dirty ponies and they see the kids have little control. kinda hard to miss when the class is told to stop while little Colby gets her mount under control.
Kids that deserve the blues and trophies should get them. not the kids that dont and havent earned them
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