The power of No

Filed under: Just For Moms, Big Kids, Just For Dads, Development/Milestones: Babies, That's Entertainment

According to this article, many parents have a hard time saying no to their children. I personally don't have this problem and sometimes say no just because I can. I don't even need a reason. But I have forwarded the article to my husband because he does find it hard to refuse Ellie sometimes and it concerns me.

David Walsh has written a book titled No: Why Kids - Of All Ages - Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It. In this interview with Scholastic, he talks about why parents find it difficult to say no and how that can harm their children in the long run. Not surprisingly, Walsh says that many times a parent's desire to acquiesce is rooted in guilt. We are busy and and feel bad about not spending enough time with our kids and try to make up for it by granting their every wish. I am sure this is the underlying issue for my husband.

Some parents worry that when their child suffers any unhappiness it may negatively effect their self-esteem. According to Walsh, this couldn't be further from the truth. He says, "Self-esteem is not a new idea, but it was mis-defined in the popular culture during the 1970s and '80s. We got the idea that self-esteem comes first and behavior comes second. In other words, if we feel good about ourselves, we'll behave ourselves."

I agree with Walsh's ideas on saying no to children. What about you? Do you find it hard to say no to your kids?

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AdviceMama Says:
Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.