The comfort in familiarity
Categories: Just for moms, Development
I'm notoriously resistant to change. I like my orange-scented conditioner to the right of my shampoo, I derive comfort from knowing my surroundings and believing that the future holds a semblance of the past. So, the fact that in the last year and a half I had a kid, changed careers, sold my house, experienced a relationship disentegration and moved provinces...well, let's just say I thank the high holy heavens for rice pudding and excellent girlfriends. Long phone calls with trusted friends have kept me sane in this period of constant transition, but I often wonder about Nolan. He is transitioning too, he is not making the decisions but is an affected party of whatever direction I take. I worry about him, and hope he does not worry.
Nolan has always been very attached to his kitty - a mangled, one-eyed mess of sticky fur and manginess - but now he refuses to go anywhere without him, even the bathtub. And now there is another partner-in-crime -- his "baba" or white blanket, the one he has had from the time he was tiny. He insists on taking his baba and kitty everywhere he goes now, and he didn't before.
And I know instinctively (because he does have my genes, after all) that his mangled kitty and shredding blanket are his "constants", his semblance of the past. He needs to have them, as tangible knowledge that some things stay the same, some things are always there. His insistent bleating: "Kitty, baba, kitty, baba" are reminders to me of my job as a Mom. I need to provide a soft, constant place for my son, and a familiar landing pad in a constantly changing, perplexing world. And I'll do that, to the very best of my ability. But some days I wish I had a baba too.
Nolan has always been very attached to his kitty - a mangled, one-eyed mess of sticky fur and manginess - but now he refuses to go anywhere without him, even the bathtub. And now there is another partner-in-crime -- his "baba" or white blanket, the one he has had from the time he was tiny. He insists on taking his baba and kitty everywhere he goes now, and he didn't before.
And I know instinctively (because he does have my genes, after all) that his mangled kitty and shredding blanket are his "constants", his semblance of the past. He needs to have them, as tangible knowledge that some things stay the same, some things are always there. His insistent bleating: "Kitty, baba, kitty, baba" are reminders to me of my job as a Mom. I need to provide a soft, constant place for my son, and a familiar landing pad in a constantly changing, perplexing world. And I'll do that, to the very best of my ability. But some days I wish I had a baba too.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
cheryl 5-31-2007 @ 3:55PM
When is your blog coming back?
Reply
Sharon 5-31-2007 @ 5:38PM
Hi Kristin- Even though the upheaval is hard on you and Nolan now, you will be a better mom in the long run for living where you want to - near your family. Nolan will get through this period of adjustment faster than you'd think - they are so resiliant! Nolan won't remember the time he wouldn't go anywhere without his baba and kitty. Instead, his memories will be of growing up with his 'unkie' and his grandparents in a beautiful setting, and with a happy mom, too. Still miss your beautiful voice. Be happy! Sharon
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Heather 5-31-2007 @ 9:10PM
After the upheavel of Katrina my toddler got very attached to a specific green blanky. Named orignally green blanky. As our routine and lives have slowly become more an more normal green blanky now only is needed at bedtime.
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Jessica 6-02-2007 @ 8:03AM
Providing a structured day and night routine will help as well. But, as previous poster said, he will rebound much quicker than you. Be happy for that.
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Cari 6-02-2007 @ 8:07PM
I so miss reading your thoughts on D&D but I am so glad that you are sharing some here. Thank you for letting us in a little bit again. Thinking of you~
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