San Francisco encouraging more same-sex adoptions

by Roger Sinasohn (Subscribe to Roger Sinasohn's posts) Jun 1st 2007 9:07AM

As I've mentioned before, we have some neighbors who have adopted a darling little boy just a bit younger than Jared. They truly love their son and it's evident in every word and every loving look. We were over there visiting recently, chatting away as the kids ran around having a wonderful time. The subject of adoption came up and one of the fathers had this to say about it:

"Back when we were talking about this and freaking out about having a kid, I realized that it meant that we would have to give up some things in order to give someone a home who doesn't have one. I can do that."

After hearing that, I was ready to give them my kids because I know they'll be way better dads than I ever could. The thing is, there are a lot more folks out there like them -- people who could provide a good home to kids that don't have one. Well, San Francisco is looking to take advantage of that situation, by reaching out to same-sex couples who may have room in their lives and in their hearts for a child looking to be loved.

The San Francisco Department of Human Services has begun a campaign to recruit more adoptive parents from the LGBT community. "We're always looking for adoptive homes for children, and we never have enough families," said Debby Jeter, deputy director for the city's Family and Children Services. "We believe same-sex couples have the ability to provide the same kind of family for a child as non-same-sex couples." The city is working with Family Builders, a non-profit adoption agency, on the campaign which will include advertisements and posters on public transit and a billboard in San Francisco's well-known Castro district.

As one adoptive parent, himself a former foster child, said, "I wouldn't have cared if my adoptive parents were a married man and woman, two gay guys or a single woman. If you have just one person who believes in you, you are going to make it." I'd love to see more couples like my neighbors adopt kids out of foster care. The more children that have loving homes the better off we'll be down the road.

This post is part of the second annual Blogging for LGBT Families Day event.

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Comments (16)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Ashlee 6-01-2007 @ 10:39AM

It's sad to see the breakdown of the family unit. It would be hard for some children to adjust to a new home, let alone one that is unconventional. The family is made of of a mother and a father because those two people have two very distinct biological roles in the development of a child.

Lt 6-01-2007 @ 12:53PM

Oh, Ashlee. Are you really going to start down this road? A child needs a safe loving environment, and parents who love him/her. It doesn't matter what is in the pants of said parents.

victor 6-01-2007 @ 2:03PM

Whatever Ashlee. How about thinking of it as an extension of the "family unit"? My partner and I just adopted a beautiful baby boy in November through SF Child and he is the most happy and well adjusted kid from "the system" we ever met. He's going to have so much more than most traditonal families. We have money, time and most of all, love in abundance so our son is going to turn out just fine. and how can you not love this face? http://www.flickr.com/photos/torres-bowser/493721942/

Uncle Roger 6-01-2007 @ 2:14PM

Interesting, Ashlee. Are you saying that if you asked a kid in the foster care system whether he'd rather continue to be bounced around from home to home or be adopted into a loving, supportive family that happened to consist of two dads, the kid would pick the former? Would you?

What "biological role" does the case worker play?

Some families consist of a mother and a father. Some have two daddies, some two mommies. Some have only a mother or father. Some have a great-grandmother. As long as there is love and care and support, it really doesn't matter.

Grace 6-01-2007 @ 4:24PM

My three children would have to agree with you, Ashlee. It is sad to see the breakdown of the family unit. The breakdown of the family unit is what put them into fostercare at the ages of 4, 2.5 and 6 months.

BUT, that is where the agreement would end and the disagreement would begin. There is nothing that my children need that they won't get from being raised by two moms.

Ann Adams 6-01-2007 @ 4:36PM

Good for San Francisco!!

Lt 6-01-2007 @ 5:58PM

Cogratulations Victor! What a beautiful baby boy. He's lucky to have two great daddies who love him and also dress him impecably! ;) All the best to you and your happy family.

kat 6-01-2007 @ 10:33PM

victor, your child is beautiful! i love the photo of him in the seersucker suit.

as an adopted child myself i can't say enough how great it is to push for more adoptions. it doesn't matter if it's a male/female or male/male or female/female. as long as there is love to go around and the child grows up in a supportive and loving environment - that's the thing that matters.

Rachel 6-02-2007 @ 2:21AM

So... when's Blogging for Traditional 1 Mommy 1 Daddy Who Stay Married Family Day? I'd love to actually see a few articles here advocating for those of us who bust our butts keeping our families together and giving our children a mom and a dad.

How sad for these kids to grow up and never have a mother, or never have a father.

gawdess 6-02-2007 @ 9:26AM

Family is family.
Where have LGBT people come from?
From families of course, many from ones where a Mom and a Dad have busted their butts to keep their families together and just make it every day.

Of course having a Mom and a Dad, by itself, doesn't automatically make for an ideal situation.

I myself would have happily traded my belt wielding, abusive father in for an emotionally healthy parent of any sex.

My kids all want to be loved, nurtured and cared for - none of them seem to feel that the nature of our genitals have to play a part in whether we are capable of doing that.

Carrie 6-02-2007 @ 10:28AM

Rachel and Ashlee: Yay for some sense!

The rest of you: Why do you types always feel the need to bring up the fringe cases? Whenever someone says the default, 1 mom 1 dad, is the best, you start on "well what if the dad was a molester or the mom was a meth addict." It is certainly better to have 1 mom 1 dad. Some sitations don't allow this because one of the parents is super crappy, but for the overwhelming majority of kids, their parents are pretty alright.

And the foster care thing: Yes, foster care with 1 mom 1 dad as my state mandates is way preferable to 2 mom or 2 dads arrangements.

Jewelie 6-02-2007 @ 10:39AM

Lt: The point is not about "what is in the pants" of a parent. Sex/gender manifests itself in many different ways, the least of which is "in the pants." What kids need just as much as a safe, loving home are 2 parents who will demonstrate the different roles of the sexes. Because kids' needs can be met only via a woman and a man, since different things are brought to the table by each.
And don't start with "everyone's different, a woman can play sports and a man can cook with the kids." It is deeper, more fundamental than that. Kids need the influence of both a man and a woman.

Uncle Roger 6-02-2007 @ 11:45AM

Carrie/Jewelie/Miss: Please pick one name and stick with it. Please do not continuously change names on your comments.

Unfortunately, those "fringe cases" with abusive or unsupportive or even missing mom-and-dad parents aren't so uncommon. Where do you think all these foster kids come from?

If straight couples were so damn perfect, there wouldn't be any foster kids.

You say foster care with a mom and a dad is preferable to same-sex adoptive parents, and it may be, in your fringe case, but if you ask the kid featured in the article, or my neighbor, or any of my kids' other, similar friends or the kids of some of the other commenters, they would disagree.

You are correct that "sex/gender manifests itself in many different ways". However, the evidence has shown pretty darn conclusively that kids' needs CAN be met by two same-sex parents or even one single sex parent. Further, it's not like gay men hide from women and lesbians hide from men -- it's very difficult, regardless of your sexual orientation, not to have women or men in your life.

It it were only up to the parents, my kids might as well have two moms -- I don't like sports, I cook, I work very hard to sublimate my violent nature, I hug and kiss my kids continually. I do, however, have some very manly, beer-drinking friends -- who, come to think of it, are mostly gay. Hmmm...

Anyway, yes, two gay men may not know what to tell a girl about menstruation, but it ain't too long ago that a lot of moms didn't do such a good job either.

Carrie 6-02-2007 @ 12:58PM

Roger, I can't even reply because I can't get my mind off the fact that you apparently allow your son to be around gay men on a regular basis.

Jewelie 6-02-2007 @ 1:05PM

Ok, that evidence of which you speak: There is myriad evidence for both sides of this argument. Hard, scientific evidence with valid methodology. Problem with evidence-gatherers and researchers is that their own expectations and opinions skew the results one way. This is true for both proponents and opponents of homosexual adoptions. So, this evidence of which you speak is dispositive of nothing more than the experimenter's expectations.

Uncle Roger 6-02-2007 @ 6:56PM

Miss Carrie/Jewelie: I am going to have to insist that you pick one user name and stick to it.

Why are you so fascinated by gay men that you cannot think of anything else? Perhaps exploring this issue might offer you some insight.

My son, on the other hand, does not worry about the sex lives of his friends' parents. I'm not even sure he knows what sex is. Neither do I put much thought into my friends' sex lives.

While I am not a scientist, I am involved with some of the best in many fields. Good research does not allow the bias, if any, of the researchers to affect or influence the conclusions. If you have encountered research that is skewed, then you are perfectly correct in discounting it. However, the fact remains that the vast majority of those kids in foster care came from mixed-gender parents.

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